I think I could live anywhere...as long as there is a garden to call my own. Or is it time to share another's garden? To contribute and to humbly accept a portion of the harvest? These things cross my mind. Meantime, we continue in limbo, until the day our vineyard sells and another decision is made. Read on. (Photo taken on the island of Port Cros, at Le Manoir).
Il arrive que les grandes décisions ne se prennent pas, mais se forment d'elles-mêmes.
It happens that big decisions don't make themselves, but are formed of themselves. -Henri Bosco
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A DAY IN A FRENCH LIFE
by Kristi Espinasse
I am beginning to understand that one of the most difficult things, since deciding to sell our home, is not whether we are making a mistake--the most difficult thing is to "keep it in the day."
"It" refers to the wild mind projecting itself forward into the unknown, down to the most absurd details ("Can you grow an avocado tree in Denver?" I actually googled this. Along with "greenhouses, Denver" and "permaculture Denver"). Yes, we are thinking of moving to Colorado. As hard as it will be for me to leave France and my garden-in-progress, I will be closer to my family if we move to the States. So which is more important? To tighten my grip on this French dream, now 24 years in the making--or to let go and float with the choppy current that is pulling us towards a new horizon, one dotted with all my loving family members--rays of sunshine sparkling at the edge of the sky?
These past weeks have been a maelstrom of emotion over this decision to move on (I want to stay. Jean-Marc needs to turn the page. We both want to remain together). Amidst all the confusion and mind chatter, I have decided to enjoy my garden (instead of grieve it) for as long as we are here (three months? three years?). Today I have the pleasure of being in the company of seven baby avocado trees, grown from pits, or discarded seeds. Their glossy new leaves inspire me. Any gloomy mind-chatter is being slowly replaced by a hopeful conviction: There is nothing absurd about an avocado tree, in Denver City!
No matter where we end up (a week ago we visited a home up the road, in La Ciotat...), I will remember that one thing is certain, tangible, and growing like a rescued pit. That certainty is called "Today." May you enjoy every single moment because, as they say here in France, On ne sait pas de quoi demain sera fait. We don't know what tomorrow will be made of. And as I recently said to my mom, Chances are it will be something even better than we could think up ourselves.
Not long after we moved here to St Cyr-sur-Mer, in 2012, Jean-Marc had rock beds made for me, in which to plant our potager, or kitchen garden.
RELATED POSTS: Click on the titles to read the posts
Is Jean-Marc Single? Can I Buy Your Home?
To Come to a Decision: On Turning the Page of our Vineyard dream. (Story here).
Moving to Mexico: To Fly with One's Own Wings. (Story here).
The Previous Move Which Brought us Here to The Sea near Bandol....
It was an endless lesson and endlessly amusing to grow things in these four beds and beyond.
FRENCH GROCERIES FROM FRANCE - from Dijon mustard to Provence herbs. CLICK HERE
Laguiole steak knives are for sale in many of the local French market stands. Order here.
Beautiful French Kitchen Towels by Garnier-Thiebaut. Order here.
Paris Peace T-shirt - "so many people have stopped to ask me where I got it" -Betty. Click here
Thank you for the time you've spent reading my column. If you have learned more than a little vocabulary here and find yourself looking forward to the next story, please know that ongoing support from readers like you helps me continue doing what I love most: sharing these missives from France. Your support is vivement apprécié! Donating via PayPal is fast and easy when you use the links below. Merci infiniment! Kristi