FRENCH WORD-A-DAY

I always enjoy your 'missives', Kristin, as well as the lovely photos which always accompany them. Just one small editing comment: I would put a comma after 'little heels' in the third paragraph.

I love all your articles, but I like them even better when you don't have the English translation of French terms in the body of the article, but at the end instead. Better practice for the reader.
Wishing you great success! All your articles make readers wish they knew you. You have great charm.

"Au revoir, mes chéries," goodbye, my dears

For consistency, since you used it previously, put quotes around "goodbye, my dears".

Now what was I doing on January 16, 2006 that I didn't see this missive? Delightful! It brings a smile to my day.

I would add Jackie's age as that was the first thing I wondered when reading. This is a charming vignette. Your stories featuring elderly men and women are always so interesting. Maybe those of us in the troisieme age appreciate your wonderful outlook on us.

Delightful really and I don't think you need to embellish the ending anymore.
Thanks for this opportunity
Elayne Molbreak

Nice story as always Kristin. I would just say "Au revoir mes cheries." no comma and period or exclamation mark as you did with your other quotes.

You might also consider adding (énième) after nieme in your vocabulary list. I think we use it also (maybe interchangeably but it seems more familiar to me) to indicate exasperation caused by multiple repetitions.

21 days!!! you are so full of energy :-)

Another delightful story. I don't feel knowing your daughter's age really adds anything to the story. I,too, love having the definitions at the end of the story. It's fun for me to check if I interpreted the correct meaning of the word or phrase.

Wonderful story :-) Don't know though if you need to set the scene locating the saleswoman before Madame enters the store as I thought at first she was giving the box to you and Jackie!

Kristin:
A wonderful slice of life, as always. I find myself wanting to know more about the emotions in this scene. Why is Jackie impatient? What were you feeling when you saw the old woman? What was the expression of the old woman when she presented the gift? What did the saleswoman look like? How did she act when she was helping you? Did her expression change when she saw the old woman come in?

Denise

This is a comment I tried to post at "Espoir" but I was rejected. Trying again here before I read this story:

Late to the party here, Kristin, having been away myself for a few days. Grammar is well and good, but in an intimate story like a vignette, there are times when style trumps grammar. Turning short, punchy non-sentences (i.e., periods used) into long, comma-laden proper sentences takes some of the heart out. If it sounds like an essay for an English class, I'm likely to doze off.

Good morning, Kristin –

So far, I’m loving your choices for vignettes to reprint. Mrs. Pigeon Poop! How do you manage to meet such amazing people?

And for what it’s worth, I agree with Lee Isbell — style trumps grammar every time, and you should never hesitate to break the rules in order to achieve the effect you want.

That said…

A comma is needed after the introductory clause “In a menswear boutique in Draguignan.”

This is probably a style thing, but you don’t need “begin to;” “…bells hanging from the shop's entrance jingle as the…” is just fine. (I find I add unnecessary “begin to”s and “starts to”s all the time.)

I don’t think that in this context, “Messieurs” and “Dames” need to be initial capped, but you should probably ask someone French.

Comma needed after “…the fold in her left arm,” because what follows “and” is a complete sentence.

In the paragraph that begins, “I look down,” the quotes around “Kakapigeon” should be double quotes, not singles.

In the next paragraph, it looks as though there’s a line break between “saleswoman” and “I’m.” It’s not the double-return of a new paragraph, so I’m assuming it’s an error.

Comma needed after “Au revoir” because “mes chéries“ is a direct address.

To me, “the door shuts as the jingle bells do their thing” makes it sound as if the bells’ ringing causes the door to shut. You might want to consider “the jingle bells do their thing as the door shuts,” or “the door swings shut, making the jingle bells do their thing.” Or something like that. Or just ignore this note.

I’m not sure, but I think the space between “herself” and “Madame” in “She calls herself 'Madame Caca Pigeon'…” is missing.

You don’t need the comma between “…every year” and “about this time….” But if it’s in there to convey the rhythm of the saleswoman’s speech, that’s fine; it’s not incorrect.

Period needs to be inside quotes: “…compliments of 'Madame Caca Pigeon.'"

No, you're absolutely right. Single quotes within double quotes, double within that, and so on, alternating ad infinitum.

The woman said, "When my son told me, 'My teacher said, "Get out of my classroom!" so I left,' I gave up hope."

Obviously, that's a terrible sentence, but it makes the point.

I reckon she meant she had no cash left, hence her visit to the bank to draw some money out. But it does usually mean one has no dough as translated.