FRENCH WORD-A-DAY

Okay, so after a brief Intermission and costume change, I am apt to say: neither. Both are ego-driven, really. How about (fence-sitter that I am!) Play-Write instead?

I would have to say, if I only had the two options, actor. I can't be the director because I am ultimately not in control--although sometimes I think I am. Yesterday, we just discussed this very thing of ego during our bible study on Esther. Beth Moore states, anytime we want to be or are the center of attention we are playing right into the hands of the evil one. Beth states that we must wait upon the Lord, not the event or people or things, but to simply wait upon the Lord. What could be more exhausting than waiting?

At times we may not appreciate the editing or rewrites in our lives. Yet most of the time things can be so wonderful we are left breathless. We all want to direct, but God does a far better job than we could. Sometimes I feel like my job is to follow the script,not question it and just try my best. It isn't easy!
Your mother is amazing! What she said is so sweet and true.

So beautifully written!

I know without a doubt I try and be the director every day, even though I know this is not God’s will for me. I still try and keep control. In my 40th year I am still struggling with this.

May whatever role you play today in life, enjoy it, as I also know this for sure…nothing ever stays the same.

Peace to you this Friday!
Kristine

P.S. Love what your Mom wrote—Hi Jules! :)

Today, Kristin, I feel like the stagehand.

At work I am often the director, and at home as well. Lots of pressure in that role. What if something goes wrong?? I'm to blame. I agree with Angela, I want to be a fence-sitter, someone in the audience who gets to enjoy the show and critique both the actor and the director.

Hello from an actor :)
I don't have it in me to direct other people...if they want to follow me of their own free will, that's fine and I am pretty pliable to the wills of others to a certain point, then I'm likely to go off on my own as a sulky actor is prone to do sometimes.

Ah! Finally something I can sink my philosophical teeth into. Being a director means you are in charge of the actors, the crew, the editing, the way things will be, but in reality you are responsible for the outcome of a project, and one never knows the final outcome of a product but by how it is judged by others. An actor simply plays a part, can choose a role that keeps himself under the radar or is a lead but still only takes responsibility for himself. This sounds a lot like the roles of motherhood and children. At first glance childhood seems like the most fun and maybe the easiest place, but being a great director or even a good director has its rewards. In life, no matter what part you play (chosen or not) one can only strive to be the best they can and hope that failures are small. Being comfortable in either role can lead to discontent. And is life interesting if one never takes a chance?

Hi Kristin,

I recently got disgusted with an English professor (who teaches Shakespeare and drama) because he views life as a stage and people (including himself) as actors. (And I told him so.) For him, life lacks reality, and the human element seems to be ironically too abstract.

Am I cynical in thinking that the actor just bobs around in the water, totally controlled by his/her environment and others, while the director stands at the wheel of the ship and steers it?

As for your other question, I think that I would be more at peace if I could bob in the water--but I can't. I need to steer. So peace may never really be in reach.

Hi Peggy - thanks for alerting me to the fact that maybe Kristi was sending out and S.O.S. - how could I miss the first line of the second paragraph. Thanks Peggy for being a commenter and teaching me to open up my ears and eyes. So here is my message to Kristi - Take a deep breath - go out and ride your bycycle - sing a new song, how about "Mom will be here soon - I can rest in her embrace and laugh at my life til I am healed with her love." Remember, see things that are not - as though they are. See us in a little cafe counting all of the flowers and plants I have talked the villagers out of for your new garden. I will paint you happy roses and lavender and sunflowers for your office. I will clean the house !!! Thanks again Peggy - please keep commenting - you have impacted our lives today... XOXO JULES

Though provoking question. After a life of trying to be a director with the companion stress and frustration, an illness forced me to take a different role. Life has been so much better learning to accept that I am not nor ever was in control. My happiness is dependent upon how I choose to deal with what is dealt to me. Trying to remain positive during trying times is not easy but calming. Surrounding yourself with some pampering is a good band-aid for now.
Jules sounds like a lovely and wise mother. We can all use warm "mom-hugs" sometimes, even distant ones.

Okay, Kristi, I outdid myself on stuffiness in my last comment (Macbeth --gag), and for that, I apologize to you and to the other readers. You, dear, are an incredibly talented woman who is clearly sensitive to life's pulse. It is a burden, is creativity; but embrace it for, paradoxically, it will not hold you down but will lift you up, far above the madding crowd. In the meantime, hone your sense of humor. It was the one thing I believe Poe clearly lacked :)

Dearest Kristi,

Of course I went right to Momma Jules' commentl, and I swear it's as if I was listening to my own beautiful Momma all over again. They (My Judi and your Jules, even special names) are SO alike. That must be why I feel such an affinity towards your mom. They are both beautiful and the epitome of style and grace. They each have these daughters, who I believe may be more alike than we even realize. I was full of self doubt and angst when I was younger, never feeling pretty enough or thin enough or well liked enough. My momma Judi would always ALWAYS, and still does almost every day of my life, tell me what a miracle I am and how beautiful I am or smart or responsible I am. I believe if I didn't have her in my life I would have crawled under a rock and never emerged. I try to let her words sink in but alas even at 47 I still fight with believing them.

Sooooo... to answer your debate question, I guess I'm the Director only because I'm too afraid to be the actor and let my Momma and life direct me. Maybe someday I'll "get it"... XOXO Hugs Chrissi

My own take on this is that we are actors with the occasional delusion that we are directing our lives. So much of what we are or become is determined by chance (good or bad genes, socioeconomics, the good fortune to be born in a place that is not in chaos from war or natural disaster).
Having said that, I also believe that one's attitude towards the challenges we face, and the amount of effort we are willing and able to make to deal with them can make all the difference between a happy life or a one filled with regret and bitterness. I also believe it is possible to learn how to modify negative thought patterns that limit us with some support and guidance. Keeping a gratitude list active in my mind has been really helpful, and thinking of a "bucket list", that is, the things I want to have done or participated in, or learned before I die has helped me make choices more in keeping with my real values and let the values that the greater society places on me drop away.
Thanks for such a thought provoking post, Kristin!
Je t'embrasse,
Jo Ellen

The director has the power to create. The ability make things happen, to produce.
An actor merely follows, with little input into the finished product,unable or unwilling to be the best you can be.

I believe we are all directors, some are simply better at it than others.

All the world's indeed a stage and we are merely players - performers and portrayers -
each another's audience beyond the gilded cage. Living in the limelight, the universal dream - just put aside the alienation, get on with the fascination, the real relation, the underlying dream.

Anyone familiar with those lyrics from the Canadian rock group RUSH? I think they express my approach to this, which is somewhat in the fence-sitter/"observer" category as opposed to "directing" anything or anybody - or playing a role. It's more about living in the now, rolling with the ebbs and flows of life, not trying to swim upstream - but enjoying each moment with wide-eyed wonder, gratitude and fascination.

Am I an actor or a director of my life? Interesting. Well, both. Both because God declared that I could choose this day whom I will serve and He also tells us that he directs our path. So I have been given direction and yet I have the God given ability to follow direction (actor) and direct my life by my choice. Life is a stage to the extent that it is a warm up or opening act of our eternal choice.
What makes me feel more at peace? When I acknowledge that I can only do what I can do and that God will always honor His name/character and help me be the best I that I can be. And on days that I struggle with any of it, I comfort myself with the knowledge that this too will pass, for nothing stays the same except God.
Open your arms wide Kristin for God to fill them with whatever you need.
Debbie

Sometimes when I see comments such as "p.s. lighten up a bit," I am reminded of the arrogance with which we muddling human creatures deal with one another. What does it mean to say "lighten up"? Is the director-type speaking those words in your skin and your heart and mind and soul? in your circumstances of place and time; in your memories of past and thoughts of the future? Well, hello, no! Who dares to ever tell someone to be_____-- to be anything. We are actors/directors all. We listen and observe; reject or accept; we stumble and skip and slide and backslide through.

Once I heard about the Witness. The Witness Mind shows up for all events; allows them to unfold and while staying in the body and disinviting drama to come in, siezes all the feelings, physical and emotional, and lets it ride the course. More energy is spent in avoiding this scene than any other in life and to our greater detriment. The Witness does not look for the immediate understanding or answer. The Witness doesn't try to figure it out or make it okay...somehow, or hope it goes away.

The witness is just willing to live in that very moment, defying the continued storage of more emtoional garbage that will, one day, have to be hauled away. The Witness sees the joy and sadness the unbelievable and understandable and treats it all the same. Directing and acting is all part of the same show, but it is about being the director and actor of our inner life, that mise-en-scene, that is the matter-most. It is out of how that scene plays out that we meet the world.

May you be blessed with all that you need in your journey...you are surrounded by many who love and care about you...all over these pages, for sure.

Kristin, you have put yourself way out there by freely opening your creative self, that spiritual center of yourself, to the world. It is a brave life to lead, and I send you mille mercis for allowing us into it...for giving us the pleasure of hearing about French life--you et famille-- and having little moments of sheer fun ecrive-ing en francaise. Merci pour tout, aller avec ton Dieu.

Pat

Beaucoups de hugs, Pat

I'm the actor! The directors are in my life in the form of my bosses, judges, police, the IRS, my weight-loss plan,and most importantly, God. All of them give me directions in the form of laws and rules that I'm supposed to follow. No wonder I think I'm special :-D. They are my hinderers and my inspirations and as the actor I continuously weave through them and multitask them. No fake tears needed - ever. No need to stand up and applaud, but thank you. I would like to thank the Academy and God and also my Kindergarten teacher...

Dear Kristin,

Today you are the silly goose. Life is not a stage, unless you want your whole life to be scripted and constrained. Relax and just be. Frenetic thought catching and role examination overwhelms the senses (stimulating: yes; peaceful: no.) Be the calm in the eye of the storm.
In the give and take of freedoms just gauge the benevolence. We are all actors and directors, teachers and students, parents and children. The peace comes from choosing what is best to be in the moment, and not being coerced, or not giving it any thought. The director, parent, teacher role has the most responsibility because we never fully know what is best for another. So we must all be open to learning from each other. You provide an excellent environment. Merci beaucoup.

I think at some point in our lives, we are both director and actor... sometimes even both at the same time! I'd love to direct life's stage down to every little detail, but maybe things would get boring that way. Hmm, maybe it's better to be an actor who secretly threw away their script. :]

I love your blogs! As a student learning French, it's so interesting to learn from a person actually living in France.

My grandmother used to say to me... "Do you know how to make God laugh? Tell him your plans!"

As much as I like to think sometimes that I am the director of my life, I think I'm more of an actor... but an improvisational actor, with choices to affect the outcome. I still live by the rules of the script (for the most part), but I can choose which actors to have dialogue with, and I have the advantage of altering my "lines."

Jules, your love for your family shines forth from your posts! I, too, am a rosebush, and sometimes I forget that. Thanks for the reminder.

Your image of "la mise-en-scene" in Camaret with the modern cars acting as a discordant note to your perfect "staged" picture is a great illustration of how life is really a glorious mess! It is sometimes hilarious and sometimes sad, suprising, ordindary, teaching, inspiring...always real, always imperfect, always moving forward to a new day of full of opportunities! Never a rehearsal!

Here you are... I'll throw something else into the mix! I was thinking about your photographic image and how sometimes photo "snapshot" often inadvertently captures parts of the messy edges of life. I then started thinking about one our artists, Jeffrey Smart, who paints carefully cheographed images of industrial scenes but includes a small jolt of a quirky clash of colour just to give it a kick of life! Perhaps it is how you shift your perspective that gives life the illusion that it is a "mise-en-scene"

KRISTI DARLING - you have had us thinking about our life and choices all weekend - I have been in so many difficult positions in my life as you well know. I wish I could share the freedom that comes with touching the edge of death with all of your faithful friends. But I still find it too difficult to express my complete feeling of freedom and peace that comes with the realization and then the acceptance that I am not an actor or a director - the release of peace and joy knowing that I am in the mist of something bigger than my thought process ever imagined. I was in the middle of a miracle. Since that fateful day of rescue from the jungle in Mexico, where I had laid isolated for 14 days with three fractures to my hip - the mexican angels that showed up and built a stretcher for me out of a lawn chair, cut up their childrens beds to make it comfortable for me. Wrapped me up inside the lawn chair with strips of torn sheets so I was enveloped in a white cacoon, then sprinkled bougenvilla blossoms on top of me as they lowered me into the little boat that would take 45 minutes across the bay to a waiting ambulance. As I lie in the ponga skimming across the water, dolphins were jumping along the side of the boat. All I could see was the blue sky - the brightest blue I have ever seen. I was deep in the miracle of surrender - acceptance - my only words to anyone who could hear " I am going to keep my eyes wide open - I never want to miss a moment of my life again." For six weeks I laid in the hospital and learned and relearned the lesson of surrender and acceptance. I have some great stories I will tell you sometime.

With every 'act' in the performance of my life that I yield to Him, G-d grants me some direction.

My allowance of authority and the maturity to have wisdom for how to 'direct' runs in exact conjunction with how well I am able to *receive* direction (as an actor?) both from G-d, and from those whom He has put in authority over me.

Great question, Kristin. Your writing is so beautifully poetic. And it's fun to see all us 'churchies' out today-- never realized there were that many. And I gotta get the Esther study; LOVE Esther! Thought I'd done all the Beth Moores!

The true artist wears many hats. I like to think of myself more in the vein of writer/director/benefactor/producer.I think of my children as the actors.

Back home very late after an extended w/end, so here are the few lines I promised to send you.

I know it's an old cliché but yes, the world may be considered as a theatre - a theatre of love (Kashmiri proverb), often a theatre displaying hatred, anarchy, misery, a theatre of the absurd, but also a theatre of hope, of dreams, of virtues. It is a vast stage where 'actors' are thrown in with or without a script, with or without much preparation. They evolve as they can, with or without outside direction. There are unique moments, obscure scenes, big turning points, funny intervals, misunderstandings, breathtaking performances... Some scenes are tragically repeating themselves, although continuously changing. Organised chaos?

Anyway, apart from the roles of 'actor' and 'director', there are many other roles to suit everyone's talent, experience, appreciation, inclination... We can also be mere spectators, critics, outsiders. Some of us prefer building their own 'masterpiece' according to their personal inspiration, beliefs and talents, taking greater pride and joy within their own little world, 'away from the madding crowd'. Feeling comfortable and in full control? Not easy when we find ourselves in a position we didn't plan, an accident or illness threatening our life, our beloved ones'. We never seem to be fully prepared!

Whatever the “mise-en-scene” around me, I never thought of living my life as an 'actor' or a 'director', a follower or a guru. It's essential for each of us to find our own place in life (as a friend, a good neighbour, a parent ...), and to do our very best for ourselves, others and the environment. As we go along, head towards the sky, eyes towards the horizon, heart towards the others, and feet stuck to the ground, there is no need to 'act'. To be able to face every day's problems within the right perspectives, it is vital to take the time to stop, breathe & relax. To me, life feels more worthwhile -and comfortable- that way, and so, more enjoyable.
In periods of unplanned turmoil, expected (or unexpected) nightmares... whatever the level of disturbance, pain or sorrow, I found that my value of life suddenly increases. My sense of survival seems to intensify my inner strength. Love and care from a few people around me (neither 'actors', nor 'directors') are such an unforgettable experience!

We are given a whole lifetime to listen, understand, learn, experiment and pass on our knowledge, to care and help, to give & be generous, to create love and beauty in our own way, ... and enjoy it all.

Neither a director or an actor, but an enthusiastic "understudy". Even after all these years I look at my life sometimes and wonder when I will start "living" it. I still have dreams to fulfill and although I sometimes "drop" the script or forget the "lines", I'm ever hopeful that I'll have my chance to shine!

I think there is a director and we are the actors but we are able to improv our scenes (which sometimes gets us in trouble). We have to go on auditions - go after the parts we want to play and sometimes the director has a role particularly for us and seeks us out. It may be the lead or a supporting role or even just a bit part- it is up to bring our passion. There are times we are waiting for a call back that never comes. Our brush with stardom may only be for a season or perhaps we will be more of a character actor, as long as we stay true to our craft (our heart) we'll find our way.

Kristen, as much as I love learning about France, you bring so much more to us and I thank you.

Amicalement,
Melanie

Yes, very beautiful..