se tromper
Wednesday, December 07, 2011
A woman's work is never done. Personally, I'll take the job of hanging out laundry... and let my husband patch up the concrete! (Photo taken in Croatia, a few summers ago...)
se tromper (seuh-trom-pay)
: to be mistaken, to be wrong
tout le monde peut se tromper = anyone can make a mistake
si je ne me trompe = if I'm not mistaken
se tromper d'heure = to mistake the time
que l'on ne s'y trompe pas = let there be no mistake about it
Audio File: Listen to Jean-Marc: Download MP3 or Wav file
Tu te trompes complètement.
You are completely mistaken
French Christmas Music: "Mon Beau Sapin", "Sainte Nuit", "La Marche des Rois", "Petite Ville Bethléem", "Il est né Le Divin Enfant". Order CD here.
A Day in a French Life... by Kristin Espinasse
Tuesday. I am sitting on the edge of the bed, putting on my make-up. It is around 10:30 am. The washing machine is whirling; in the room beside me, I've hung out the previous load on the étendoir. There is homemade soup (potimarron) on the stove, downstairs. Just up the hall, in my office, my book manuscript is open. I left it moments ago, pour respirer un peu.
Just as I reach for my mascara, I hear my husband's footsteps in the hall. I roll my eyes and shake my head. It's just like clockwork! The minute I am sitting down, seemingly pampering myself, my better half walks in! "Better," because he's certainly been working harder than me this morning!
Why is it that when I'm slaving away with the mop he's never around... and then, suddenly, when I pull out my mascara wand—poof!—he appears?
Sheesh. I am only sitting in bed putting on makeup because we have a visitor this morning, otherwise I might be doing something much more industrious, such as organizing the mud room (and isn't it high-time for that?!).
Mud aside, I do not like to be "caught" like this, seemingly whiling away the day. All that is missing from this incriminating picture is the proverbial box of bonbons. If I'm such a lady of leisure, then shouldn't the bed be littered with gold foil wrappers by now?
By now the footsteps are getting louder and my husband has arrived at the bedroom door. I'm just waiting for him to react as he usually does, on seeing me grooming my lashes:
Tu vas au bal?
Only this time, I don't give him the chance to tease me. Instead, I blurt out:
"In case you are wondering, no, I am not going to the ball. You may not think I have anything better to do... but I can assure you...!"
Having accidentally stepped into the line of fire, my better half steps back:
"Chérie, tu te trompes complètement!"
He is right. I am sorely mistaken. The truth is each of us works hard and there is no need to explain ourselves or to keep a scoreboard. I can let down my defenses and get on with dying my eyelashes... though the job might be a little less tedious had I a box of chocolates beside me.
As for who does more around here, I imagine it is a hot topic in most households. Everyone from married couples to roommates to brothers and sisters (I hear my kids "mais c'est toujours moi qui le fait!") risks being accused of living the Life of Riley. Even if you are single and living alone, there's the temptation to blame the coffee machine for not living up to its side of the bargain.
Some believe in the Pull Your Own Weight factor, but we might do well to respect the other's idea of rest, whether that is watching a football game or sitting down for a cup of tea. I will try to remember this at the end of the day, after I've returned home from the one-hour school run only to rustle up dinner while my better half is now lounging before the crackling fire, listening to music while shelling walnuts!
How those shells suddenly remind me of so many bonbon wrappers strewn across the bed.... Ah là là, it looks like it's his turn to be mistaken for a lad of leisure!
Click here to comment on this story or simply answer this question: Who, besides you (of course!) does the most work at your home? Ever feel as my kids do: "c'est toujours moi qui doit le faire!"
Have a minute for another story? Read "Fluffy Dice" or "Trying to Wrestle a Sou out of You Know Who" !
Potimarron soup recipe? You can go all out and fancy it up (see Laura's delicious recipe), or you can do like me and let your lazybones bring out the best of the squash in three steps:
- Scrub the potimarron.
- Leaving the skin on (for a colorful, vitamin-rich soup) chop the squash into chunks (after hollowing out the inside. You might toast the seeds with sel de guerand or sprinkle them in your garden... the birds and the earth will love them)
- Boil the cubes in water (around 20-30 minutes), with one or two cubes of organic soup stock. Use a blender-wand to mix the soup, et voilà. Garnish with parsley--it full of iron and good for la mauvaise haleine. Of course salt and pepper and a little bit of cream and some cheese (Jean-Marc loves to add Roquefort to his soup) makes it even better!
French Vocabulary
un étendoir = clotheshorse (type of indoor clothesline)
le potimarron = a kind of squash
pour respirer un peu = to take a breather
tu vas au bal = are you going to the ball?
le bonbon = candy
Chérie, tu te trompes complètement = Dear, you are sorely mistaken
c'est toujours moi qui fait tout! = it's always me who does everything!
la mauvaise haleine = bad breath
Smokey and the Sweet Potato (or "Pooch and la Patate Douce")
How to say "busted" in French?
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For more online reading: The Lost Gardens: A Story of Two Vineyards and a Sobriety
I so agree, mostly its myself I have to convince I am working hard enough! Speaking of which I just painted my kitchen using traditional chaux paint with natural pigments, looks like the wall in the photo at the top may have been painted in the same way. Love the way you always weave your stories and end up with a picture of smokey!
Posted by: angela | Wednesday, December 07, 2011 at 11:22 AM
Help me out here with my French. I would say
"mais c'est toujours moi qui le faiS !" (and I'd skip a space before the point d'exclamation). But I'm not sure why I think it's 'fais' and not 'fait'. What did your autochtones say?
Posted by: julia Frey | Wednesday, December 07, 2011 at 12:58 PM
Busted is in the look ....the same in any language...and adorable.
Posted by: Susan | Wednesday, December 07, 2011 at 01:37 PM
Julia, I was wondering the same when I typed it. Which one is correct?
Posted by: Kristin Espinasse | Wednesday, December 07, 2011 at 01:45 PM
Poor Smokey--he looks so guilty. (Jones is the biggest thief and he loves sweet potatoes). As for taking a break and pampering oneself--it is an absolute must to love oneself. (I'm finally learning this lesson)
Be well, I'm anxiously awaiting the book. Mary
Posted by: mary | Wednesday, December 07, 2011 at 02:04 PM
Hi Kristin,
"ideomatic box of bonbons"? I'm having trouble with the English.
Best regards,
Paul
Posted by: Paul Heffron | Wednesday, December 07, 2011 at 02:10 PM
Qui fait seems more correct because "qui" is sort of like third person singular, right?
Posted by: JolleyG | Wednesday, December 07, 2011 at 02:32 PM
Besides se tromper d'heure (to get the time wrong), you can also se tromper d'other things, for example, if I went down the wrong street, je me suis trompé de rue. Since I make plenty of mistakes, I find se tromper to be a very useful verb.
Posted by: Leslie | Wednesday, December 07, 2011 at 02:34 PM
Proverbial box, peut-être ?
Posted by: Glenn from St. Paul | Wednesday, December 07, 2011 at 02:35 PM
Jolly, That was my reasoning. Im still not sure.
Paul, thanks, I need to fix that -- how about idiomatic (idioms). I was looking for a change from proverbial. I think eating bonbons can be an idiomatic expression?...
Posted by: Kristin Espinasse | Wednesday, December 07, 2011 at 02:37 PM
I think sometimes it's ok for a writer to use a cliché -- proverbial box of bon bons -- if she actually is trying to present a clichéd image for the sake of the story. An idiom is when you're using language in a way that the intended meaning is not the same as the exact meaning of the words in the grammatical phrase, e.g., "keep in touch" or "face the music."
I don't know if we have potimarrons here in Midwest supermarkets (I'll keep my eye open at the farmer's markets), but it's definitely time to start making squash soup of any flavor. And I heartily recommend those blender wand or "immersion blenders." I just got mine and it's already become my favorite kitchen tool!
Thanks for the new pictures of Smokey Doke. We've missed him.
And by the way, don't we all have the bad habit of keeping score. You're so right.
Posted by: Julie F in St. Louis, MO | Wednesday, December 07, 2011 at 03:12 PM
We have only had that discussion once in the +40 years that we have been married. I was seriously ill at the time when my husband implied that he was doing everything. I quickly typed up three pages of things that I had done while I was supposed to be recuperating and asked him if he wanted the full list or if that partial one would do. That topic has never arisen again.
Posted by: mhwebb | Wednesday, December 07, 2011 at 03:26 PM
Having retired a month ago, my wife is now commenting that she doesn't have enough time to get her work done because I'm always around and wanting to go someplace. Hmm, I think I need to take half of her "list", just as soon as I finish the honey-do list she created for me. Love the picture of Smokey having a taste test of the sweet potato.
Posted by: Bill in St. Paul | Wednesday, December 07, 2011 at 03:54 PM
I love the pictures of Smokey, just dying to do a little table surfin.
Posted by: Michel | Wednesday, December 07, 2011 at 04:34 PM
Mon Dieu! You have been observing my husband and me! My resolution today, one day at a time, is to respect his leisure and try to be more ok with mine. I also hate that "caught" feeling when "caught" pampering myself. I always want to cite all the things (worthwhile) I just finished -to "excuse" why I am now 'eating a box of bonbons' while " just" watching TV!! I will be kind. I will be kind! Thank you very much for today's vignette.
Posted by: Judi Miller | Wednesday, December 07, 2011 at 04:51 PM
One of your best little slice of life stories, Kristin! You are becoming an even stronger, more visual and emotional writer! I am in Mexico right now having dental work done (its too expensive in New Jersey) and your little story relieves some of the pain of the root canal!
Wishing you all the best,
Sharon Sakson
Author of Paws & Effect: The Healing Power of Dogs
Posted by: Sharon Sakson | Wednesday, December 07, 2011 at 04:57 PM
My husband and I gave up the battle of "who works harder" years ago, as it led to too many arguments! Besides, we both knew who worked harder...MOI, bien sur! (LOL...of course, he believed it was Himself!)
BTW gotta' love that 'counter surfing' Smokey! Hope (our Greyhound) has been known to snag a whole baguette ( actually, Italian bread is her favorite) and scarf it down in the time it takes us to rush into the kitchen. Life with dogs, eh?
Posted by: Nancy L. | Wednesday, December 07, 2011 at 04:57 PM
Hi Kristin,
I love this story and the cute pictures of Smokey! I always feel guilty if I am sitting on the couch with a book and a cup of tea and I hear my husband out in the yard mowing the grass. I always feel like I need to jump up from the couch when he comes in and pretend like I am doing something constructive!
Posted by: Eileen deCamp | Wednesday, December 07, 2011 at 05:00 PM
I'm realizing that my feeling of being "caught" is mostly self-inflicted. It's a tiny little bit of guilt over something I could have done better, heaped on with a ton of false accusation (from the pit). It's the false part that I need to look straight on and rebuke. One of my big struggles. Thanks for the story, Kristin, it's always good to know we're not alone in our crazy sentiments! love Jen
Posted by: Jennifer in OR | Wednesday, December 07, 2011 at 05:07 PM
Phew! Thanks Eileen and Judy and all who wrote in to say they could relate to this story. I was beginning to worry that this couple dynamic only happened chez nous :-) Eileen, thats me, jumping up and grabbing onto a sponge or a feather duster for a been working away look. I hope Mom will share her story... of how she and Max mopped the floors just before JM and I arrived home from a night away... (She had to keep wetting the floor with mop water when JM and I were late returning home!) She was exhausted trying to keep up appearances ;-)
Posted by: Kristin Espinasse | Wednesday, December 07, 2011 at 05:10 PM
What a true story Kristi, it happens around here too. I have tried similar tacktics as Jules, more than once :) I loved the pic of Smokey "tasting" the sweet potato. What a good boy to not just snarff it down lol
OXOX,
Missy
Posted by: Missy | Wednesday, December 07, 2011 at 05:27 PM
I live alone but have so many guilt-ridden, workaholic friends, co-workers, and family members. I try to praise us all when we nurture ourselves and turn down additional obligations, especially around Christmas, when work is busiest. "'No' is not a 4-letter word", I like to say. Also, I see this dynamic at work: when I am in charge, I feel as if I am working harder than those I supervise, but usually, je me trompe. It's just that I have a big picture of the project: usually others are actually the backbone, getting it all done.
Martine, NYC
Posted by: Martine | Wednesday, December 07, 2011 at 06:18 PM
I'm retired and on my own now, and believe in taking life easy, but do hang my clothes on the line, and keep trying to convince my friends & family in America to do the same with no success - Do you ever do the same, Kristi (try to convert your American friends,to the virtues of using solar power I mean).
Posted by: suejean | Wednesday, December 07, 2011 at 06:48 PM
Honey, my honey pulls his weight in gold. He not only cleans up after dinner, insists on taking half the load in ANYTHING and my first cleaning lady was at his insistence 30 years ago and thereafter, there she was. When he is seemingly on the computer, eating bons bons, I know that he is doing the books, finding out great surprises for us to visit/look at/bargains for things we need, and so much more. I am as appreciated as the Hope diamond and certainly, he, too, is my jewel.
Posted by: Suzanne Dunaway | Wednesday, December 07, 2011 at 07:25 PM
Thanks, Kristin, for your story of family dynamics. From the comments, it would seem that most of us have similar situations going on. I'll remember Jean-Marc's remark, "Tu vas au bal?" It made me chuckle. Nice to see Smokey's photos. Does he really like sweet potatoes? Here in the States, we are remembering "Pearl Harbor Day". Bonne soirée, Cynthia in Salisbury, Maryland
Posted by: Cynthia Lewis | Wednesday, December 07, 2011 at 08:32 PM
I was going to ask you what a potimarron is equivalent to in the US, but Googled instead. David Lebovitz has lots of nice pictures with his roasted pumpkin recipe.
I'm also happy to learn "se tromper." I've seen it often but for some reason never looked it up. When I'm reading anything lengthy in French, I try not to look words up. That interrupts the flow and I always hope to figure out the meaning from the context. Sometimes that works and sometimes I find out that everything is the exact opposite from what I perceived.
Posted by: Lee Isbell | Wednesday, December 07, 2011 at 08:34 PM
My apologies if someone corrected this already, but the correct form is "C'est moi qui fais tout le travail". This is unlike English and is treated like the first person and not the third.
Merci!!
Julie
Posted by: Julie S | Wednesday, December 07, 2011 at 08:39 PM
Just checked my Franklin translator: il doit le faire = he has to do it, he must do it. So would you say: c'est toujours moi qui dois le faire.
My husband and used to share the work, but since I'm retired and he is still working, I usually do most of the work: gardening (which I always did), cutting the lawn (but if he has time he does it), blowing the leaves, shoveling the walkway. If I cook he cleans and if he cooks I clean (once in a while one of us will does both jobs). We have a cleaning lady so neither of us has to do that and we share doing the laundry.
I do feel guilty when I sit down to read and my husband is working.
Love the pictures of Smokey - what a sneak - but he says: I didn't do anything and I don't like sweet potatoes anyways.
Posted by: Kathleen | Wednesday, December 07, 2011 at 11:57 PM
I'm not married. So all the work falls to me but so does all the laziness when I so choose! :)
Posted by: Kristine, Dallas | Thursday, December 08, 2011 at 01:48 AM
I just loved this visual of you preempting your husband's thoughts because I can so relate! I, however, do it more with new purchases- trying to defend them before he has even opened up his mouth in inevitable critcism. He mostly just laughs.
Also, very relieved to hear that you use mascara!!! I have to admit to having been so curious as to whether you use make-up at all. Your beauty is inspiring.:)
Posted by: Joan Simon | Thursday, December 08, 2011 at 06:47 AM
Dear Kristin, When I read your husband was sitting in front of a crackling fire it led my thoughts to my daughter and her family. They live and work for the government in Abu Dhabi and have bought a lovely Provencale house near Salernes in Var. We spent a month with them in the summer - heaven! They decided to go back for Christmas and have been a bit shocked to find the freezing temperatures. Are you as cold as that in Vaucluse. You, a desert rat, perhaps felt the same about these winters? They do have heating in their house but it's still a bit of a shock to freeze. They did expect a cold winter but...do send me a few words on your first winters there!! Thank you. Love your work.
Very best wishes
June
Posted by: June Shenton Turner | Thursday, December 08, 2011 at 01:56 PM
You give men a lot of credit; how diplomatic! I've recently re-subscribed to French-Word-A-Day. I used to follow it when I lived in France in 2004 and loved the stories. I've recently started my own blog, "Nyanja Word of the Week" (about a Zambian language I'm trying to learn, after living there for 5 years and marrying a Zambian: www.nyanjawordoftheweek.blogspot.com). I owe you credit for the inspiration for the concept and format! Thanks!
Posted by: Holly | Thursday, December 08, 2011 at 07:26 PM
Well I do most of the stuff around here, always have even when I was married. It was actually worse then; one more to clean up after. Last year I had had enough of coming home from work only to find piles of dishes in the sink. So one night, I washed them, dried them, then packed away just enough for the kids to use once. My older son thought I was crazy, but let me tell you, there were less dishes in the sink the next time I came home from work.
Posted by: Buffy | Thursday, December 08, 2011 at 07:50 PM
Smokey has that so "who me?" look.
My sister and I both live alone and I tease her about being the "over acheiver" and me being the "under acheiver". Now if we could all just manage to to come together and hit the balance point. I think balance could possibly be the secret to having the best of all worlds.
Posted by: joie/carmel,ca | Friday, December 09, 2011 at 07:24 AM
Hi Suejean, I love the idea of hanging out the clothes (it is a wonderful excuse to take a break from the computer and to get outside), though I dont like it when the pegs burst (after weakening in the sun). It can be a dangerous activity! Re do I preach to others about the ecofriendliness of some of these French ways Ive adopted? No. (But that doesnt mean I dont write about them, sneakily, here and there.... )
Cynthia, Yes, Smokey enjoys eating sweet potatoes. He had another patate douce snack just yesterday.
Julie, thank you for fais (instead of fait).
Happy weekend to all!
Posted by: Kristin Espinasse | Friday, December 09, 2011 at 02:46 PM
Such a cute story and I, too, can SO relate! Thanks for putting a smile on my face and laughter in my heart. Joyous (and restful) weekend! We are heading to the coast for some much needed play and rest time...hope to leave the chalk board at home.
Posted by: Stacy ~ Sweet Life Farm ~ Applegate, Oregon | Friday, December 09, 2011 at 08:01 PM
The poodles here LOVE sweet potatoes and the vet says they are good for them (in moderation). Re: the pumpkin soup. Cut the pumpkin in half, clean and deseed it. Put cut side down in the oven, with a bit of olive oil in the pan and rosat it until squishy. Roasting it gives the meat a richer flavor than steaming. Cool, peel and then put in a bowl and puree, add broth, nutmeg, etc. and serve with a dollop of sour cream and a glass of something from Rouge Bleu. Roquefort would be lovely with this soup!
Posted by: martina | Sunday, December 11, 2011 at 02:16 AM
Kristin, ma chère, I most often relate to your many cute anecdotes. J'ai loupé tant d'épisodes à cause de ma vie surchargée. Mais quand je trouve du temps, je reviens toujours te lire.
I cracked up when I read JM's words "Tu vas au bal?" My husband would ask me the same thing if he saw me putting on makeups or trying on newly bought clothes. Being used to such "sarcastic questions", je dirais, avec un grand sourire aux lèvres "avec mon petit ami que tu connais aussi!" :D
And it is so true in my case aussi, that nobody sees me slaving around, and that as soon as I sit down to unwind, then somebody who hates me, will appear to find a valid reason to say I am paresseuse. I often have makeups on when I go out and just that one day, when I was in a hurry to run to the store without makeups, anybody I know would be there to greet the "real me" Hahaha!
Kristin, ma belle, have a great week!
Posted by: Millie | Monday, December 12, 2011 at 12:41 AM
Martina,
Youre version of squash soup seems delicious. Ill try it next time!
Posted by: Kristin Espinasse | Monday, December 12, 2011 at 11:34 AM