FRENCH WORD-A-DAY

Some things take time. Like a Christmas pudding. Like knitting a lace shawl. Like watching children grow into adulthood. Like paintings, musical compositions and books, time often is the most essential factor and learning patience is an asset, not a fault. Take you time! We'll be still out there, waiting, when you finish!

I agree with the above posts. If you start to fall off the wagon, mention it to us your readers, nothing specific about the topic, but of the process. we'll be here to encourage you. Take your time to say what you need to say.

"It's like driving a car at night. You never see further than your headlights, but you can make the whole trip that way."
E.L. Doctorow's advice on writing

Marchons! You have an adoring readership waiting!

I like J.'s quote from E.L. Doctorow, it makes writing in little steps seem easier with the knowledge that you'll get there if you just keep "driving". So drive on, Kristin!!

Several years ago you wrote about living the writing life. That line struck me so deeply that I finally put my writing cap on and started a blog 4 years ago. So it is you who have inspired others, whether you knew it or not. Your memoir will bloom, I am sure. Just keep writing.(Outlines help!) And everyone needs a good editor.
With thanks, Sue

Have been listening to Ella Fitzgerald on CD and am reminded by her song from South Pacific, Happy Thoughts..."if you don't have a dream, how you gonna have a dream come true." So having your dream of this book can only come true if you make it come true, but starts with your dream. Have a happy! Very best wishes, Karen

I am excited for you and cheering you on Kristin. I find your self-effacing style and honest way of writing and sharing very appealing as do so many others. Thanks for sharing your struggles and joys with us. Bon continuation.

Beth

As another struggling writer I am truly inspired by your efforts and your honesty. Thanks for sharing these struggles and your progress as well - for you are making progress.
Dan

Be a story teller, be a reporter, learn to be a fiction writer.
Maybe you need an assignment that takes you away from yourself. We all love your blog, goodness I have read for years.
Think first of all the others in your memoir.

I was so touched by your soft, gentle way of writing about your "coming out"....truly, I did not realize until the very end of that blog....I, who was born into the disease, then married it, and gave birth to a son who has it. My son has been in recovery for almost 2 years. My Father and his Father are both deceased. For years I have loved reading your blog, and so admired your life and talent. Now I have you on a pedestle, dear Kristin, higher still! Your loveliness and talent is even more enhanced by your brave disclosure. You will write a magnificent book, one that will be loved, and inspire others. Writers block.....pshaw!! It comes and goes. God bless you, always.

Yes, we are cheering you on, as Ann Mah said in the first comment (a wonderful writer herself, as you know). I love all the comments so far, and I love hearing your processing. You certainly seem "unstuck" in your blog writing, which is a delight. I can only imagine how difficult memoir writing must be! But we will be here, continuing to cheer you on, and enjoying whatever you decide to share with us from your daily life.

Please return to writing about your life in your new Provencal community. I miss reading about your everyday life and am put off by writing about writing. If you wish to, like many Americans, write a "tell all", surely you can continue writing about the thing we love to read about: France.

Wow - reading the above comments blesses my heart,I can only imagine how they encourage your heart. You have a world-wide support group, nothing to fear. Don't fret about the little stuff like punctuation. That's what editors are for. I've taught English for years and am still confused by grammar. I never remember that the ' goes OUTSIDE the period.

Yep, you have your own in-house editor/cheerleader rolled into one. I am assuming "You will make it, Darling Heart," is your wonderful mother. You'll do just fine on your own with family by your side and without your hundreds/thousands of faithful fans. We're still there in heart and spirit, cheering from the proverbial sidelines.

I always enjoy reading your blog and the best of luck pour le futur!
Just one nit-picky thing: practice (with 'ice' at the end) is the noun and practise (with 'is') is the verb. So, it's I/We practised, not 'practiced'. I always used to get this wrong until somebody told me the 'ice' and 'is' way of remembering them. Hope that doesn't sound too pedantic, as it's not meant to. Looking forward to your next blog!

There are some advantages to writing a blog (which as you point out has disadvantages) you write quickly and send it off without time to rewrite, rethink, edit, etc. My suggestion is that you write your memoir that same way - write on it every day - but instead of sending it out, consider that page done. Don't reread, edit, start over, or think too much about what you said or where it is going. It is more important at this point to keep moving on. When you are done, you will have a better idea about how it will all fit together.

Hi Kristin,

I love reading your stories --- they have wisdom, energy and heart. I think you need to do what is best for you. Your memoirs sound very interesting, and I know many will read them.

You are very talented so run with it!

A sunny day on the Oregon coast! Yeah.

Stay well!

Writing is work .... until it is play .... and very serious .... until we surrender and give the muse control .... As always, Krisin, I wish you the muse. :-)

I can be easily overwhelmed by big projects--so much so that sometimes it's even a bit paralyzing. Where to start? But i love saying 'eat the elephant one bite at a time.'

I expect you will find a special rhythm and method for the memoir process. just like each child has it's own personality and way of moving in the world, so, i think, do projects like this. you'll circle around each other a bit and sniff each other a bit until you become familiar with each other and you will find the right way to coexist. yup. (oh--and follow each bit of the elephant with a bit of chocolate:))

For me, I try to do a 10-minute drawing a day even if I can't do anything else in a busy life. You already do so much, and I know you can do this memoir too. Give yourself time and a hug every once in a while.

PS Thank you for showing me how broccoli flowers.

Man needs difficulties; they are necessary for health.

Carl Jung (1875–1961), Swiss psychiatrist.

What if you continued to use us as a deadline without actually showing us your words - that is, set public goals on your blog and report to us whether you reached those goals? That way, we can still motivate you even though your writings are private.

I am impressed with your bravery.

I thought you were very courageous to tell the story of your sobriety.It was very touching and I'm sure took great bravery on your part to write. I really respect and appreciate you for it. Thanks.

Letia [email protected]

Not even 'one day at a time,' really, Kristi. One word at a time ... that's how writing breathes its way into the world, and yours is so alive!

Someone said (and I have no idea who) that "Rome wasn't built in a day". So keeping that in mind remember that some days will be easier than others to put on paper the thoughts in your head. Just let it come at it's own speed. You don't need to impose a deadline on yourself....for the blog, fine, for your story, no. It does not matter if it takes three months or over a year. This is something you need to do just for yourself first and then make the decisions as to what you will do with it. Grammer? commas, etc. ,reread and and do your own editing, and if it goes to print, that is what proof readers and editors are for. So take the time and enjoy doing this. Don't make it a punishment upon yourself.
I send you thoughts of chocolate covered strawberries....hugs, Joie

Dear Kristi, It seems to me you have come a long way.You dare to tread where few go.Keep writing Kristi. I applaud your bravery, honesty and ability to find the humor in life and write about it in such a way,that my early morning belly laughs wake my dogs up! All the best to you!

Bravo, Kristin! You have made the right decision. It is now your time to contemplate, explore and evaluate what you want your book to be.
You have a big family of cyberspace supporters who are already big fans. But it is important for you to be spontaneous in thought, expression and style. Your editing team will help pull it together. "Too many cooks spoil the broth"... and we are all sure you will 'cook' up an entertaining yet heart-warming autobiography.
I have travelled this path with my travel tales to my friends and whilst I have had great support, I have been also too needy in what I was being told and this can stifle the 'voice' that is uniquely yours!
There is much to share in your life and with your playful and honest style, we shall all look forward to the final product!
Bon courage and enjoy the moments (or more!)

I have loved all the quotations in these responses! And I have all confidence in you, Kristin. The focus and persistence that have kept you writing this creative blog so many years will certainly see you through.

My husband corresponded a couple of years ago with a writer who signed all his emails with the word ONWARD. I couldn't help wondering if that word was his personal mantra, encouraging him to "keep at" whatever he was writing.

You are so very, very talented, Kristin, and we are all looking forward to your memoir.

I am looking forward to your memoir; you have much talent. Do not stop. Vivian

Just a quick comment to agree with Sarah LaBelle, practise being a British form of practice. If you use an American publisher, the American spelling would be employed.

And another comment regarding Tonya's comment. The comma to which she referred is often called the Oxford comma. Most book publishers, if not all, will use it. But most newspapers and magazines will delete it. Ardent supporters on either side. I always use it to avoid any confusion.

BUT you don't need to worry about either as you write. Your publisher will use the style it prefers. And your blog readers will understand what you mean, even if we are compelled to add our two cents :).

How interesting! The last comment has made me ponder upon the "Secret" subject and how important (or not) it is in our life. And this is what I have found:

The whole secret of existence is to have no fear. Never fear what will become of you, depend on no one. Only the moment you reject all help are you freed.
Buddha

The secret of success is learning how to use pain and pleasure instead of having pain and pleasure use you. If you do that, you're in control of your life. If you don't, life controls you.
Tony Robbins (motivational coach)

The very word 'secrecy' is repugnant in a free and open society; and we are as a people inherently and historically opposed to secret societies, to secret oaths, and to secret proceedings.
John F. Kennedy

The secret of freedom lies in educating people, whereas the secret of tyranny is in keeping them ignorant.
Maximilien Robespierre

.. and here is more by various authors:

“Lies and secrets, Tessa, they are like a cancer in the soul. They eat away what is good and leave only destruction behind.”

“I feel bare. I didn't realize I wore my secrets as armor until they were gone and now everyone sees me as I really am.”

“What you didn't tell someone was just as debilitating as what you did.”

“I know a secret, and secrets breed paranoia.”

I'm responding right after reading your post, and haven't read the other comments first, as I usually do; I wanted to send a few words before bed (after midnight here), and maybe more later.

The main point for now: drop the idea of a deadline. Yes, there are deadlines for the regular blog if you want them, such as three times a week, or whatever interval you pick. There was a time when you said you might not write on a set schedule, and we all agreed that "whenever" you were willing to send us something, we would be happy to receive it. But your other writing shouldn't feel rushed.

I recall when you aimed to write a book in 3 weeks, and apparently succeeded. Personally, I didn't like the idea. Hurrying not only tends to generate errors, in spite of readers' proofing; it may lead to different content or other features that might have been better without the haste. What was the reason? To see if you could? You don't need to be like Flaubert, who agonized over every word to the point it took days to write a paragraph. But you don't need to feel as if you are racing the clock (a feeling that really bothers me when I'm in a rush situation).

Specifically for the memoir, there should be no time pressure, no sense that you must complete any number of pages or stages by X date. This may be a cathartic exercise, or a reminiscence, or a number of things; what it should not be is some thing cranked out just because the clock is ticking. At the beginning of a new activity, we are often energized; we can hardly wait to get started, and to move ahead, and can often cover a good bit of ground initially. But later, we will need to be more discriminating. We can't include every detail, or the narrative would be too long. If includes everything, it becomes hard to separate the wheat from the chaff and find the most significant elements. I urge you to move at a steady pace, to the extent feasible, perhaps speeding up or slowing down as both your life (appointments, maybe fatigue, etc.) and your inclination (how you wish to address some sections) may dictate.

It will not matter if the memoir takes a long time. What matters is that it serves its purpose - not all of which we know, but you do. You may discover more facets to it as you work on it. You may be eager to share it with select people, if not all your blog fans. But they, and you, will get more from it if you move at an optimum pace (the actual pace could vary here and there), rather than some randomly chosen, artificial deadline.

My two cents - and maybe too many words - but I do believe that this endeavor deserves focus and however much time it takes to give it your best effort. You hear of writers who create characters who "run away with the story." You are the main character, with your family as supporting cast. There is quite a story to tell, and as you work on it, you will find a rhythm and an approach that works best.

Kristin,
I can't begin to tell you how much I enjoy your posts and how many I have shared with my French students. My seniors in high school are getting anxious about choosing a path to college, putting themselves on the line and waiting for acceptance letters. I will show them this post to show them that life's journey is full of crossroads and to be courageous in following their path. You are "toujours" inspiring! I wish you the best with your new book!

Kristin,

Like Eilleen in Charlotteville, VA I wonder if trying to do both blog (I thought originally promoted to share the life of an American girl living in France by offering a French Word-A-Day) AND write a memoir using the original audience is fare to the followers of whom you captured to perpetuate their knowledge of French.

I do empathize with your quest to gain momentum to go forth with your book, I have been writting my own memoir for years now myself, but I have remained dedicated to your blog all these years in hopes of perpetuating my knowledge of French. Maybe you should have two differnet blogs since you seem to need an audience of emotional supporters as well as French enthusiasts.

Best of luck at your point of cross roads.

Beverly in Charleston, SC

My two cents on Beverly in Charleston idea on "having two different blogs":

Maybe, it is still possible for Kristin to keep ONE blog, where she could keep gracefully "skipping" through those mentioned earlier "lavender fields", meanwhile giving us LOTS of French words and expressions, and maybe even videos on occasion? And then, at the same time, in some other editions of her blog, being able to wander through those more demanding spiritual trails, just as her souls desires, and yet STILL give us a LOT of French words and expressions?

The trick is helping everyone feel included and comfortable. ..and perhaps no matter what still feel united by our desire to learn a thing or two about French language or life.

Kristi,

I don't have time to read all the comments (busy day) so forgive me if someone already suggested this. From reading th eauthors' credits part of their books, it seems like they all had someone "to write to" as they wrote their books. Why don't you select a few of your close friends to read your chapters and be your critics in the ongoing process of writing your memoir? Seems like every author does this. It would also give you an ongoing deadline.

Just a thought. Soldier on, and good luck. And of course, kisses to the puppydogs.