Buyer's remorse in French: le syndrome du remords de l'acheteur
Thursday, October 24, 2013
Not a new dress. But will this one pass? Mom says it could work (minus the belt. You need a silver belt!) She also suggested some new shoes--and why not buy a few new dresses, too? Read on....
le syndrome du remords de l'acheteur
: buyer's remorse
A Day in a French Life... by Kristin Espinasse
A few days ago, I began emailing photos of myself to my mom, in Mexico. The subject line read "cruise wardrobe. HELP!"
In two weeks, Jean-Marc and I will host that Paris-Normandy cruise I told you about. In a panic, I had bought two cheap dresses--and was now experiencing le syndrome du remords de l'acheteur, or buyer's remorse. But with any luck--and with a scarf thrown over the get-ups, maybe the dresses would faire l'affaire?
I knew I was putting Mom in a vise by asking, once again this week, for her critique. I'd just asked for her honest opinion on the 3-page book introduction I recently wrote--a solicitation that ended in a week of silent treatment (on my part) punctuated by a few desperate calls demanding that Mom reconsider her opinion. (I then put Mom through the torture of listening to me read and reread my book's unchanged introduction--a fate I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy.)
I ended up rewriting the intro, spitting and cursing through the first few drafts--until it smoothed itself out. While my poor mom took the brunt of my frustrations, she also won all my respect in the end.
When next I asked Mom to edit my wardrobe, she was understandably gun-shy. To shoot down this polyester façade would be to shatter an ill-fitting shell of conformism.
"Honey, what about Jackie's red leather jacket?" Mom suggested, careful to tiptoe around the previous email I'd sent her (the blue dress in question, I realize now, looked like it was made of airplane blanket material).
"Mom! Jackie doesn't have a red leather jacket!"
Cutting to the chase, my wardrobe editor offered another suggestion. "Honey, why don't you go out and buy yourself some nice dresses?"
"But, Mom!" I fired off a list of reasons to leave things well enough alone. Besides, going back to the drawing board meant going back to the dressing room. Why don't they just call them for what they are? "Humiliation chambers."
Something about florescent lighting makes the scars across my face appear as train tracks. And, when I look away from the reflection in the mirror, my eyes catch--like the strained zippers on the hip-hugger pants the 20-year-old salesgirl just gave me--on other unsightly details.
"You are trying too hard." Mom said, gently. "You need to let go and let God."
***
Driving back to the supermarket mall, I shook my head. I get it that I need to quit trying to control or force outcomes; that the more I struggle the less I accomplish. I get it that Mom is talking about grace—but what is she suggesting.. that I take God shopping with me?
I'm sure God has more important things to do than help me try on shoes, so I've taken my 16-year-old daughter along as a backup. Along the way I try to let go. Let go.....
I drive past the cheap boutique and park in front of Esprit. They are having 30% off everything in the shop today--a good chance to "change up" those cheap dresses for better quality versions.
Squeezing in and out of a dozen cocktail robes, I avoid the mirror, but another unsavory detail soon demands my attention. A sour scent fills my nose there in the cramped dressing room....
If I thought the mirrors were humiliating now it was my own body that was mortifying me! I realized that in my haste and hurry to get my errands done, I'd skipped a very important step: deodorant.
Jackie! Je pue! I stepped out of the dressing room to breathe.
My daughter did her best to reassure me, but I was worried about tainting the store's clothing. I'd better slip off this pretty dress--before I ruin it!--and get my stinky, stressed self out of this store.
Just as I was spinning around to hurry back into the dressing room, I heard them. The three angels.
"Oh là là," they said. "That dress is lovely on you!"
Standing before me was the most expressive trio I have ever seen. The women, who looked related, wore thick make-up in contrast to their fair, copper-toned hair. The French "sisters" looked to be my mom's age (mid-sixties) and their mom could have been their sister. This much I gathered. I also had a hunch they'd just enjoyed a three-martini lunch. Then again, some people are naturally high, playful, and free. Such were these colorful ladies who stood in the hall of the dressing room, showering me with encouragement.
"Thank you!" I said, clamping my arms to my sweaty sides--until I remembered Mom's gentle words: let go.... Let things unfold....
"That is a pretty dress, too," I offered, returning the compliment. (One of the women had a pretty green dress on her arm.)
"Here, try it on!" she offered, handing me the glittery robe.
"Yes, yes, try it on, dear!" their mother, in a flamboyant hat and high tops, cheered. (my own mom would have gone to town with these women! )
Each time I came out of the dressing room the fair-haired trio raved.
"But isn't it too... (big or small or this or that)" I questioned, each time. Again and again, any doubts and insecurities were hushed, and even my daughter validated the women's opinion.
By now I had two dresses, a jacket, and even a leather skirt to add to my cruise wardrobe. Oh là là indeed! How quickly my luck had turned around--and how effortlessly things came together!
A joyful rush came over me and I threw my arms around the strangers. And when I remembered my sweaty secret I clamped my arms, which only had the effect of squeezing those dear women even closer to me. Like Pepé LePew I could not help but show my emotion!
If they were put off by my scent, they didn't show it. I looked over at the three women, who beamed.
God—incarnate in a flamboyant hat and high tops—had indeed gone shopping with me.
That's when the truth behind Mom's words struck me. In the end, it's a matter of grace.
* * *
French vocabulary
le syndrome du remords de l'acheteur = buyer's remorse
faire l'affaire = work
je pue (puer) = I stink
Everybody has their own style, Mom says. (That's Jules, above).
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Talk about angels. Whew. That was exactly the message I needed to hear today, so thank you and your beautiful Mom.
I have been cleaning out my closet and looking at everything with a stern eye of "does this make me happy?" plus (ouch) "does this fit me well?" And I can tell you that all of the stuff in the giveaway pile is cheapy. So hooray for your angels--you will look beautiful on the cruise, I know it. :)
PS. I love the Constance belt but that's just me!
Posted by: Heather in Arles | Thursday, October 24, 2013 at 01:30 PM
There is not a woman reading this who did not relate! Oh, how we labor over clothing , especially for a special event. Loved your story of the Lord sending your French angels. The next time I am stressing in a dressing room here in Alabama I am going to look for them.
Thank you for your emails blessing my days. Your words make me want to add something else to that suitcase in my closet that I always have semi-packed to go back to the south of France again.
Blessings to you,
Judy
Posted by: J Newsom | Thursday, October 24, 2013 at 01:41 PM
The blue dress at the top of the page is wonderful, and I like the boots, too. (There's something about a woman in boots.)
Is that you wearing the dress? Why did you cut off your face?
Posted by: Bruce in northwest Connecticut | Thursday, October 24, 2013 at 01:43 PM
You could wear a burlap sack and look g o r g e o u s! But that's not the point here and it is wonderful your shopping angels appeared. Bon voyage-- oh to be there and see your new ensembles in person!
Posted by: Pat Cargill | Thursday, October 24, 2013 at 02:04 PM
Hi,
Crisp white shirt, pearls, slim jeans or black pants. With a blazer or a nifty coat, topped off with a requisite scarf. Pearls my all-time fav.
Cheryl
Posted by: cheryl | Thursday, October 24, 2013 at 02:04 PM
We did that AMA cruise last year at the end of October from Paris. We wished we were going this year we you.
Do not fret over what to wear as everything is so casual. A good pair of pants some interesting tops and a good jacket will take you everywhere. Also lots of interesting scarves can change a outfit from casual to dressy.
Have a wonderful time and remember to enjoy yourselves!!!! It is going to be so much fun!!!!
Posted by: Marilyn Murphy | Thursday, October 24, 2013 at 02:05 PM
Kristin,
You would look beautiful in anything!
Posted by: Annette Heath | Thursday, October 24, 2013 at 02:07 PM
I tend toward Santa Fe style. ;-)
Posted by: Betty | Thursday, October 24, 2013 at 02:10 PM
Each person has a style all their own. I do like the dress above with the black belt - it ties in with your boots.
However, wear your personality - it looks amazing!
Posted by: Amanda | Thursday, October 24, 2013 at 02:24 PM
Kristin,
Once again your beautiful stories find me wiping my eyes and lifting my spirits. Your reference to "humiliation chambers" had me laughing out loud. I think it's high time that shops replace their morgue lighting with something more flattering.
I hope you all have a fantastic time on the cruise!
Posted by: Susan | Thursday, October 24, 2013 at 02:32 PM
I have been on one of those river cruises and they are very casual!! I bet you won't see many dresses even in the evening. Great pants, a nice jacket and interesting tops will do it for you. And I bet you would look GREAT in a black turtle neck! Bon Voyage!!
Posted by: Mary-Anne Helms | Thursday, October 24, 2013 at 02:38 PM
I think you look great in the dress you posted, and are too hard on yourself. It is good to have objective help when shopping. But boy can I relate to the "humiliation chamber"!! I just went to look for a dress for an upcoming work event I will attend for my husband, and of course I can never find quite what I want, and all my flaws are amplified in those humiliation chambers. Shopping with my fit,beautiful daughter does not usually make me feel better. I realized that I am terrible at accessorizing, and that often makes the outfit. Maybe I need a personal shopper?? As for a favorite style, I am a jeans girl!! Nice jeans, a pretty sweater or blouse, boots (or other cute shoes) and I am happy.
Posted by: Teresa W from NJ | Thursday, October 24, 2013 at 02:55 PM
Hello again,
The question was "what is your style"? Meaning the writer's. Of course Kristin looks great!! But, I have overdressed at times in France, where I go every year, and regret it every time. Chic doesn't have to be complicated. The French are MASTERS of chic. Trust me, a white shirt lends itself to dressing-up. (turtleneck is good too) White against the face is flattering. Anyway just a thought. And very often Carolina H. is in a white shirt and always looks perfectly attired.
Posted by: cheryl | Thursday, October 24, 2013 at 03:13 PM
Ditto, Cheryl !!
Posted by: Kerry in Oklahoma from Tucson | Thursday, October 24, 2013 at 03:34 PM
Kristin, remember the cruise last year where we first met? You looked beautiful each and everyday I saw you.
Congrats on your new wardrobe! I know you will look lovely. It is your charming and sincere personality that always clothes you and contributes to your style.
Posted by: Laura Isenstein | Thursday, October 24, 2013 at 03:59 PM
Black, Black and then some..A fab white blouse,something gray, a little color, a cashmere over the shoulders, some scarves, a birkin and a warm coat.
Now using #3 turn it over as you don't understand and HP will take care of the rest..
Posted by: Hampton | Thursday, October 24, 2013 at 04:30 PM
Delightful post! Some corrections:
I'm sure you don't want to put Jules in a VICE, but a VISE (which would be painful as well).
solicitation
WORST enemy (I assume you meant, rather than WORSE
...and let God... (do what?)
30% OFF, not OF
REASSURE, not ASSURE
Posted by: allen laskin | Thursday, October 24, 2013 at 04:30 PM
Beautiful, beautiful story. I need those women to come shopping with me because I'm a boring nerd. LOL
Posted by: Cheryl Wells | Thursday, October 24, 2013 at 04:33 PM
Oh dear - is that REAL FUR on that blue dress?? I do hope not. They way fur is obtained is so terribly cruel, I can't understand why anyone would want to be associated with it.
Posted by: Jo Statham | Thursday, October 24, 2013 at 04:45 PM
Happiness is feeling good in your clothing ~!~ I agree that a tweedy jacket and great fitting pants, cords or jeans is my go to uniform. I do confess to being a Ralp Lauren fan. His look is so easy to wear city or country. Have a wonderful cruise. I hope you;ll post pictures. I was in Normandy in late May and it rained every day. I would love to do one of those river cruises. Thanks for your wonderful blogs..Kathy
Posted by: Kathy Cushmore | Thursday, October 24, 2013 at 05:11 PM
You look wonderful in the blue dress. I think the black boots and belt are perfect. Quite frankly Kristin, you can wear anything and look lovely. I think that it is important that you feel comfortable in what you wear...that it flows with your life. I suspect that is why Jules dresses as she does.
My personal style is a little flamboyant... colorful scarves and shawls or artsy jewelry and earrings matched with black or brown. I guess it is the artist in me. I don't have a lot of clothing at the moment, because I have lost a lot of weight, but find what I have works for now.
Enjoy your trip. I am sure once you are onboard you will worry less and just have a wonderful time!
Posted by: Betty Doolittle Tuininga | Thursday, October 24, 2013 at 05:18 PM
I feel your pain. I've spent the last two weeks trying to update my own wardrobe for the very same cruise. Oh, the pain of being a woman. Brad bought two new white collared shirts for the trip and called it good. Can't wait to see you and J-M again.
Posted by: Julie Farrar | Thursday, October 24, 2013 at 05:51 PM
Just back from more errands and am jumping into the comments. Thanks for your cheerful and very kind messages!
Jo, No worries--that is just fake fluff and not fur, and in no way do I wish to promote fur--but I liked the cape... and it came with the fluff!
Bruce, That is I, with a close-up of the dress (that is my excuse for why my head is out of the frame).
Cheryl, wish I had gotten that crisp white shirt, too. Great look, I agree.
Allen, many thanks for those corrections. Very glad to have them.
Cheryl Well, LOL! Me too, boring nerd :-)
Posted by: Kristin Espinasse | Thursday, October 24, 2013 at 06:10 PM
Our dear Kristi,
Once again your descriptions are magic and made me laugh out loud!
Once again,too,you gave us all an insight on our own shortcomings,especially when it comes to clothes shopping and how we think we see ourselves.
The funniest part for my own self is realizing that everyone else is more worried about their appearance an d hardly notice mine!
How gifted you are!
Thank you!
Love, Natalia xo
Posted by: Natalia | Thursday, October 24, 2013 at 06:24 PM
Delightful post, Kristin. You always look great, so no need to stress about it. Looking forward to the stories that will accompany your cruise.
Posted by: Julia ~ Falling Off Bicycles | Thursday, October 24, 2013 at 06:53 PM
I 2nd Annette & Amanda.
I have asked God to go shopping with me more than once when overwhelmed.
Jules has a definite style, and her lively personality shows through it :)
My favorite outfit would be denim pants, a soft, long-sleeved pullover, and comfortable, short boots. I think the answer to this question can reveal a lot about us, even to ourselves; i.e., how often are we able to live in what is most comfortable to us?
Posted by: Trina, St. Petersburg, Florida, USA | Thursday, October 24, 2013 at 07:33 PM
Hi Kristin ! I like the dress with the boots -- I think the belt should be wider and if your mom was thinking of a concho belt that would certainly make the whole look (and the belt could be used with other outfits -- but positioned at the hip with pants and sweaters or tunic blouses. I live in Paris and this year I busted out of the black only syndrome. My favorite uni (uniform) this year: belted narrow wale medium gray skinny cords (from Uniqlo -- a better cut for my American curves than the cords at Monoprix and they wash better with no shrinkage YAAAAAY) with a black or beige or brown or white sweater and a scarf (not silk)finished off with Frye ankle boots (I am tired of people stepping on my poor toes in Metro cars or the bus) and a coat or jacket long enough to cover my hips.
Posted by: Susan | Thursday, October 24, 2013 at 07:39 PM
Kristin . . . The post was wonderful! I see you inherited your mother's beauty, both inside and out. My sympathies to Mr. Laskin who is not familiar with letting go and letting God.
Posted by: Sue in Seattle | Thursday, October 24, 2013 at 07:53 PM
I would totally agree with the statement somewhere above that we wear PERSONALITIES.. adorned with the fabric and color depending on our mood of a day. :-)
A very nice duster, Kristi.
The soft and yet disorderly flow of the fur on top suggest that it could be worn with something loose, light, and flowy. Something like this perhaps: http://www.pinterest.com/pin/234539093064510263/
http://www.pinterest.com/pin/234539093064829478/
or this
Perhaps, no constricting lines (hard boots or fitted gowns/trousers) to interfere with the romantique mood this duster of yours sets for.
I would also refrain from wearing this color with black (even though the modern designers offer this blue-black combination a lot for the last couple of years, but the colors should be in the same hue (and mood) to pull the entire look out. Just as they are here perhaps: (the combination is piercingly RIGHT :-) http://www.net-a-porter.com/am/product/383695?cm_mmc=LinkshareUS-_-J84DHJLQkR4-_-ProductFeed-_-Mason_by_Michelle_Mason&siteID=J84DHJLQkR4-dy0t78zqajhMNcfhRIRBMw
http://www.pinterest.com/sydneyjewellery/my-style/
generally is a very nice collection of very good clothing and color ideas. Enjoy.
Posted by: Francesca | Thursday, October 24, 2013 at 08:06 PM
You have a beautiful face, a lovely slim shape and a warm heart - you look fabulous is everything. I used to have no problems shopping when my pre-5 kid body made everything look good - now it is an exercise in concealment! Not to worry - you will have the best time.
Posted by: Therese | Thursday, October 24, 2013 at 08:36 PM
Natalia, that is so true. So many people are thinking about other things--and thank goodness--and not at all focused on our real or perceived wardrobe mishaps.
Susan, that is exactly what Mom suggested: a concha belt. Also, I love the gray cords/brown sweater--and am bringing this along, too!
Trina,( re i.e., how often are we able to live in what is most comfortable to us?) It can be a blessing to work from home (in cozy clothes), but it gets complicated when it is time to dress up. I often watch the career woman, who grocery shop after work, and I think that their office outfits would be perfect dinner threads for me! I am sure professionals get sick of dressing up every day.
Sue in Seattle, I meant to explain that one to Allen, too, but what unsure if read the sentence correctly (it can be read two ways :-) I hope never to push my beliefs on anyone, but in todays story it is just part of the story.
Francesca, thanks for the term *duster*. I tried to look it home but Google shows 4-wheel drives or feather sticks :-)
Thank you, Therese! and to everyone for the very kind compliments.
Posted by: Kristin Espinasse | Thursday, October 24, 2013 at 08:38 PM
..mmm.. 4 wheel drives?? or FEA-Ther sticks!!??!!!@@>! :-).. that's something to laugh about for the rest of my day! :-) Thanks, Kristi.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Duster_%28clothing%29
Duster (clothing)
http://www.pinterest.com/pin/266908715389404734/
A 1910 Review of the complete wardrobe for the fashionable woman for Autumn and Winter -Motoring costumes. Women wore fashionable "dusters" [ loose overgarments ] over the normal daywear to protect from dirt and grime.
http://www.pinterest.com/curatorkim/vintage-fashion/
Vintage wear.. :-) for anyone inclined :-)
Posted by: Francesca | Thursday, October 24, 2013 at 09:05 PM
Love it, thanks Francesca. *Duster* is a great word for my writing vocabulary! Always trying to nourish it!
Posted by: Kristin Espinasse | Thursday, October 24, 2013 at 09:09 PM
This is what they call "duster" now. My first one I bought about 15 years ago.
http://www.venus.com/viewproduct.aspx?BRANCH=7~69~&ProductDisplayID=19811&cm_mmc=ProductSearch-_-Google-_-XWEBGPF13-_-adwords_labelsBrown_Multi_Cascading_Duster&sc=XWEBGPF13&device=c&network=g&matchtype=&gclid=CJWj_ZOWsLoCFWtxQgodTFIA0A
http://www.jessicalondon.com/Product.aspx?PfId=345910&ProductTypeId=1&affiliate_id=049&affiliate_location_id=23&affiliate_id=049&affiliate_location_id=01&mr:trackingCode=3DFFE6FE-32D9-E211-A755-BC305BF82162&mr:referralID=NA&mr:adType=pla&mr:ad=27451664265&mr:keyword=&mr:match=&mr:filter=51948577185#.UmlwvxC424g
http://us.asos.com/ASOS-Double-Collar-Duster-Coat/zquu3/?iid=2677517&cid=13948&Rf900=3717&sh=0&pge=0&pgesize=9999&sort=-1&clr=Black&utm_source=google_product_search&utm_medium=paid&utm_campaign=google_product_search&WT.tsrc=Google%20Product%20Search&WT.srch=1&affid=2365&WT.srch=1&utm_source=google&utm_medium=ppc&utm_term={adwords_producttargetid}&utm_content=&utm_campaign=&cvosrc=ppc.google.{adwords_producttargetid}&network={network}&mobile={ifmobile:1}&search={ifsearch:1}&content={ifcontent:1}&creative={creative}&ptid={adwords_producttargetid}&adposition={adposition}&gclid=CIKsj5eWsLoCFUXhQgodjWIA0w&r=2&mporgp=L0FTT1MvQVNPUy1Eb3VibGUtQ29sbGFyLUR1c3Rlci1Db2F0L1Byb2Qv
Posted by: Francesca | Thursday, October 24, 2013 at 09:13 PM
:-) I love the outfit up the top...belt and all!!!
Boots are so versitile and comfy...maybe just find another pair of shoes for the couple of times you dress up... I also love black tights! :-) Keep it simple, think of what you are doing on the cruise and don't overpack! Accessories are wonderful outfit changers and are not usually as expensive!!
Relax and enjoy time away with friends! xxx
Posted by: Gretel | Thursday, October 24, 2013 at 09:44 PM
Ah...I, too, am struggling to gather a suitable (or, at this point, wearable and reasonably unwrinkled - I have no idea where the iron has hidden itself) wardrobe for a certain upcoming cruise. Having lived in boring Florida for 12 years, the bulk (correct word) of my clothing is cotton, cropped, faded, or otherwise unsuitable for public use. Not to mention, Kristie, that you are making us meet in Paris... PARIS!?!? where every woman of every age and every size is gorgeous and chic and has been since birth. I am aging, graying, drooping, and slowing. But happier than I have ever been and so looking forward to sharing this journey with my dear Old Tom and some pretty nice friends. (Big smile here.) Of course, I do understand that you and J-M will be in the spotlight, but you are already beautiful and so many of the people on the cruise are already loyal, loving fans. And I will be there cheering for you. Can't wait!
Posted by: Nan Morrissette | Thursday, October 24, 2013 at 10:25 PM
Kristin, I read your blog every time it comes out but have never commented before. I want you to know your honesty is endearing and priceless and for me, it's what makes your column so worth while. Thank you. Plus, I love France and enjoy hearing what it's like for an American to have made a life for herself there.
Posted by: Jill Switzenberg | Thursday, October 24, 2013 at 10:26 PM
Kristin, thank you for sharing and expressing what we all go through. If nothing else, something MUST be done about the lighting in dressing rooms! I must also agree with everyone here who says you are beautiful, truly, physically of course and then enhanced by the joy, honesty, kindness, and humor within that all seem to radiate from you, especially when you smile.
And it's not just me!! Looking at the photo of you (I hadn't pointed you out yet) and Max and his buddies, my students, with whom I had shared your writing but not yet your picture, thought you and Max were twins. I told them I thought you'd love to hear that, and this is the perfect time to tell you.
Much affection,
Lorraine
PA, USA
Posted by: Lorraine | Thursday, October 24, 2013 at 11:44 PM
Thanks for this post. I so identified with it. I, too, hate shopping for clothes in the "humiliation chambers."
The outfit in the picture at the top looks great as it is; you needn't change a thing as far as I'm concerned.
Am going to try to remember "It's a matter of grace." :-)
Posted by: Kathy in California | Friday, October 25, 2013 at 12:47 AM
I am very late posting this but here goes - For 20 years I was a career woman, suits pumps, full makeup, pantyhose, perfect hair, the corporate world. Uck!!! so glad to be rid of all that. Now - black jeans, black/camel/color cashmere and scarves with basic good(small but real) jewelry. You only have two ears and one neck and two wrists. So get real. Comfortable shoes - they can still be stylish. You can go anywhere. You are beautiful - do not try to hide it. If you feel good in it - then it is for you! Your heart knows-don't let your mind over analyze. I will forever use the humiliation chamber term - love it. Have a great trip and enjoy all that you see and do. We all wish we were there with you.
Posted by: Nancy, San Antonio, Texas | Friday, October 25, 2013 at 01:24 AM
You look spectacular in the above photograph, and the outfit is just part of why. I do like the outfit on you very much; it looks put together but not fussy, and you wear it beautifully. I'd keep the black belt (and add other belt options if you wish). Of course, the important thing is how you feel in it, but I hope our very positive opinions influence that. Have a wonderful cruise, Leslie
Posted by: Leslie in Portland, Oregon | Friday, October 25, 2013 at 01:30 AM
A few encouraging words for Nan Morrissette:
"Dear Nan. The Beauty IS inside."
Please take a look at this picture -- she is a BEAUTY QUEEN!!
:-).. And it is not only I who feels this way. There's a comment at the bottom of the picture by somebody else (who is also in Arts of course :-) :
--Sydney Jewellery School • 1 year ago
"In about 20 years I can only hope to look as fabulous as this beautiful woman" --
http://www.pinterest.com/pin/234539093064521912/
lo-o-ve the "humiliation chamber" term as well! :-) I am with you on that, Nancy from San Antonio, Texas. ...:-) The prices there are sooo overblown and they feed us THEIR sense of "fashion" :-) which, of course, someone like me (with acute sense for line and color and Tha Feeling they provide) would be vvverrry cautious to even look at. :-)
Kristi, once again, thank you for the wonderful "piece of internet" you created many years ago! :-)
Posted by: Francesca | Friday, October 25, 2013 at 02:17 AM
Be who you are. Met you at Rouge Bleu a few years ago now. Scars make the woman, seen or unseen. Beauty begins from the inside. Plus, we aren't 29 anymore, and I certainly don't ever want to turn back that clock, life is great now. Be what you are! The rest will fall into place. Have fun! :)
Posted by: jill | Friday, October 25, 2013 at 02:32 AM
Kristen
I have done both karate and latterly, modern jive dancing. Both these pursuits involve a lot of sweat. I found out a remarkable truth, for me anyway. This was that it is not the sweaty body that smells, but the sweaty fabric.
By the time I was an hour into a karate training session, my gi (training uniform) would be smelling strongly of ammonia and this would continue. The gi would get a thorough washing and drying, but the same thing would happen next time. Also, I had certain shirts that would give off a revolting body odor and others that would not, when dancing.
I worked out that it was the bacterial population which varied with the cloth origin and characteristics that determined the smell made of my sweat. I suspect that in past times when clothing was all boiled, fewer bacteria survived, but probably repopulated from the wearer's skin.
What did I do to those specific offending clothes so I could wear them without major concern? I soaked them for a week in antiseptic before washing. Resorting to this from time to time has, for me, removed the problem of body odor. Try it on the clothes you seem to smell in.
Regards
Les
Posted by: Les Cooper | Friday, October 25, 2013 at 02:40 AM
Hi Kristin,
I love the top photo, but why did you cut off your head? :-)....I like the look but maybe a black belt with a silver buckle? I have a tendency to dress too safely sometimes. I do not like the "humiliation chambers" either, especially when I am trying on swimsuits! UGH! Why isn't there "soft focus" lighting and mirrors that say "images in mirror are really smaller than they appear".....You will look great in anything, so stop worrying. I wish I could make the cruise.
Posted by: Eileen deCamp | Friday, October 25, 2013 at 02:51 AM
Now I am truly entertained, Kristi! :-)
Not having time to read your entire post in the morning I thought you referred to department stores or clothing stores in general when you coined the phrase "humiliation chambers" :-) Because that's exactly how I feel with their choices of offered clothes (and prices) and fabric, (and that dreaded polyester too) and many styles that I would not go for, if I ever stop there on a super rare occasion. I prefer internet shopping and the freedom of MORE choice that comes with it. Now, when I finally got to read your story in detail I found that your term "humiliation chambers" (and the feeling of being trapped, constricted and minimized by any if not all means) has really resonated with me and made me smile at the unexpected and yet broader meaning I readily jumped to and loved. :-)
Thank you. I love the way you view life and everything that comes with it.
Have a wonderful, relaxing and emotionally enriching trip!
Posted by: Francesca | Friday, October 25, 2013 at 06:41 AM
Les, glad to have this information on sweat and fabric! I will see about some experimenting of my own :-)
Eileen, your note: images in mirror are really smaller than they appear--is brilliant! You could print these up and sell them to all the boutique chains and department stores. The signs would bring a smile--and, in turn, relax a lot of shoppers. I think I will print up my own, on a sticky note, and slap in on the mirrors when I go shopping!
Lorraine, please pass along this hug to all your students. What a smile they bring! Thanks to everyone for these gentle words.
Posted by: Kristin Espinasse | Friday, October 25, 2013 at 09:59 AM
As I sit here reading this instead of prepping for my classes today, I had to smile... I have these same experiences every time I go shopping! And, seeing as we just started a clothing/shopping unit in my French 3 class, I have found my "mot du jour" for today! I may even link this post to our class website so they can read all about your shopping adventures in France, too! Have a fanastic time on your cruise! I would love to do that someday!
Posted by: Meghan | Friday, October 25, 2013 at 01:34 PM
To the Francesca who posted some encouragement to me after my post. THANK YOU for the link to an amazing picture. Everyone who is older today than they were yesterday needs to see this. http://www.pinterest.com/pin/234539093064521912/
And you are right... Beauty IS inside. I find myself at the extreme age of 66... 67 in a few months. (My beloved Bob Dylan warned me in the '60's not to trust anyone over thirty... And in many ways I still believe that!) I offer my mother as a role model. She will be ninety in April and, rather than feeling old, is planning a big birthday party where everyone will have lobster flown in from Maine and lots of Champagne. Thank you Francesca!
Posted by: Nan Morrissette | Friday, October 25, 2013 at 01:56 PM
Meghan, thanks, I appreciate your sharing this post in class.
Nan, loved your note and was so relieved to know you do not iron either! I cannot remember what you wore, last time I saw you, but I do remember the twinkle in your eyes.
Posted by: Kristin Espinasse | Friday, October 25, 2013 at 05:34 PM
Hi Kristin, I'm new to your blog, which is fantastic. You mentioned your scars in the post so I clicked on "scar" and found out about your skin cancers. I, too, have had surgery for basal cell carcinomas, both on my face, one of which is on my cheek, which is almost invisible and the other on my upper lip, which is clearly visible. As a result of the surgery, I lost muscle in the lip so it droops a bit on the left side. I did, however, discover a way to get rid of the droop . . . a smile takes it away!
Posted by: Sue in Seattle | Friday, October 25, 2013 at 08:47 PM
Kristi, it is a matter of grace, which you have in spades! I am smiling, touched by the beauty in your relatable (oh, so!) sweet story! You are simply gorgeous - a classic beauty- in a t-shirt and jeans or your ideal outfit. I understand the desire to have beautiful, comfortable outfits you feel good in for the upcoming cruise.
I love dresses and skirts, though I usually end up in my favorite denim (jeans or shorts depending on the temp) and a bohemian style top with my favorite boots or sandals. I just feel too fussy most of the time in a skirt or dress: must be the tomboy/cowgirl in me!
So grateful your angels spoke up for you on this shopping day, whatever you wear, I feel certain your kindness and beauty will be the star attraction.
Posted by: Stacy ~ Sweet Life Farm | Friday, October 25, 2013 at 09:37 PM
Kristi,
I liked the dress and boots but thought the belt was too narrow. You look great in a black turtleneck and jeans and boots. Your favorite outfit in camel colors sounds pretty and, let's face it, you'll look great in anything. I am a big fan of red tops with black pants and short boots or emerald green with black, but I'm an extrovert a la Jules. Also hard to beat a long sleeved white shirt and black pants. Most of all, have a great trip. Your smile will be your best accessory.
Posted by: Diane Young | Friday, October 25, 2013 at 09:54 PM
UGH. I hate shopping. Humiliation Chamber is right!
Trust yourself, though, Kristin. Even though Jules can manage to remain totally objective and honest, I think everyone will naturally have a different opinion because everyone has a different style. You look beautiful in anything because you are beautiful, period!
Your words reflect exactly what anyone of us with any shade of low self-esteem feels. I wish I could find ONE style or designer that reflects my desire for comfort always - plus a little artsy flair.
We all need a lady's maid and a dresser!
Enjoy your cruise. Wish I was going. Bon Voyage!
Posted by: Karen Whitcome | Friday, October 25, 2013 at 10:15 PM
My hang around outfit is jeans and a sweater and in summer shorts, tee and Birkenstocks.
But when I dress up, I love to wear the funky, uneven hemmed skits or dresses, which I bought in France or some funky skirt I bought here and a tee or shirt with a belt. My favorite store for clothes that fit me is Chicos. Sometimes their prints a bit much, but I usually find something there. I love to shop for clothes,food, you name it . I am a shopaholic. I just love funky, unusual clothes,plus I love to wear boots, flats or sandals and of course the prerequisite scarf in the fall, winter and spring.
Another thing to think about is color....I look good in off white, warm browns, turquoise, blue, yellow green. I should not wear black or white (but I do) and gray is a color which takes color away from the wearer. It is a very difficult color to wear.
I love the seater which you are wearing. You could try the belt a little looser and lower down on the hips. But you look great in everything.
Have a great trip and I wish that we were going,but it did not fit into our schedule.
Kathleen
Posted by: Kathleen from Connecticut | Sunday, October 27, 2013 at 04:47 AM
could not resist posting this here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_hP1KXdu2bA
Audrey Hepburn Interviewed on French Current Affairs TV Show
A perfect example of Grace, kindness, perfect elegance, Beauty.. and ability to perfect spoken French. :-)
She is still an example to strive for, isn't she?
Posted by: Francesca | Monday, October 28, 2013 at 09:06 PM
Francesca, that is a wonderful interview. Thanks!
Posted by: Kristin Espinasse | Tuesday, October 29, 2013 at 03:30 PM