FRENCH WORD-A-DAY

When bad things happen I do yoga! I find a quiet space, light some candles and some incense, and practice this moving mediation. Once on my mat, nothing can disturb me, I'm safe, warm and purposeful. The gentle stretches and self nurturing slowly make me realise that whatever the problem, the here and now is peaceful and pleasant. Then I try to take those feelings off my mat into my day. The practice of yoga has been a safe haven for me through many ups and downs over my life. I recommend it to everyone!

I think that this too shall pass and it does.

Kristin, wherever you might be spending the next 3 weeks, take it all in, enjoy the brightness of each day and know that if life is difficult or challenging, those moments are temporary. Somehow I always believe that I/we will get through a challenging period and it will transform itself into more positive times, leaving behind a fuzzy and disappearing shadow of the difficult times.
Je te souhaite un bon voyage, plein de joie!
Jackie

Kristin, I love you and so do many others. Maybe we can feel sorry for that hate-filled person who has to live with herself and spread her toxic envy and hate into the world.

Hi Kristin,
My perfect French life isn't always so perfect either. When bad things happen (and when they don't) I walk. Long long walks or short walks with my dog as my companion. I walk and remind myself to just breathe.
xo Mer

When life is tough [as it is now for me] I practise mindfulness, and spend a lot of time with my dear cats, who are so soothing to my soul. I do tend also to try and nourish myself with good food, and can recommend sliced organic lemons with a good chunk of fresh ginger in a mug of hot water to feel revitalised.

When bad things happen, I curse, cry, scream, shut down. I look for solace, hold my loved ones close.
It's funny at 6:36 a.m. to read "Hate chu" even though it is horrible for you to have to read that. The gods humiliated her with bad spelling before she could even spit out what she felt! Mean people sometimes trip themselves up, which is perfect!
As for your neighbors, how awful.
We, all of us, want to be loved, protected, respected. If you are feeling lost, maybe reach out to another of your neighbors who may be shaken by this, too.
Sending love to you and your village, Leslie

Kristin,
I have never commented before but have been following your post and stories for at least two years with immense enjoyment. I am so sorry for you to read of the hateful comment and hope you can completely erase it from your mind. I expect many readers never before submitting thoughts will now tell you how wonderful your blog is and provide a strong counterpoint to the toxic taste of that message. It takes a lot of courage to expose your thoughts and life to outside scrutiny and your success seems well deserved and hard earned.
One poisonous comment can hurt so much but let it remain in perspective with the many positives allowed to dilute it's effect,
ally

When I'm beside myself, I do yoga or just sit still crossed legged and cry!
I might take a long walk with my dog.....and cry
and look forward to some nice red wine later on....and....
Funny how bad things happen in 3's.
Now you can enjoy your time away and find some peace.
As far as Miss "Chu" is concerned, try and let it go(I know it's difficult, but they are to be pitied - you are far more enlightened and kind!
xo Toby

Blame someone else !

I don't have any words of wisdom but just wanted to let you know many people, myself included, admire and care about you... Carry on, let yourself feel your feelings but know all will be well! Consider all you have to be grateful for. As for the nasty person who sent you that message, there had to be pain and jealousy behind it. Try not to take it personally!

My way of handling bad things depends on the nature of what happened. If it was something that made me angry I like to pull weeds all the while uttering expletives. If it was something that made me sad I like to walk - fast and furious. And of course, I talk it over with my dog who is a very good listener and doesn't ask stupid or irrelevant questions.
Desiderata - what wonderful words to live by.

After many years of waking up and tearing myself up with guilt, I finally figured out that when bad thoughts come I have to distract my mind. So I look through my mail and read your posts. I especially love your pictures. Sometimes I forward your posts to my daughter to share a bit of French info or vocabulary, or I say " see that's where/how I lived". Obviously the lady with the mean posts is unhappy and she is only sharing her own frustration at you. Don't take it personally. She doesn't have your gift of writing or photography to vent her unhappiness. I don't know how you find the time to read everything! :-). A bientôt, or à plus....(ah pleusss)short for à plus tard ( with no "s" sound)
Abe a great time off. Bonnes vacances!! --jackie

Not exactly on point, but I prefer the "Calvin & Hobbs" DESIDERATA.

"Calvin - Know what I pray for?
Hobbs - What?
C - The strength to change what I can, the inability to accept what I can't, and the incapacity to tell the difference.
H- You should lead an interesting life
C - Oh, I already DO!"

I like "Smokey" (or is he 'Fumot'?) I love Golden Retrieve--so cuddly. I a 'westie-poo', more westie than poo.

Enter me
annfesATyahooDOTcom

Hi Kristin,

Lately, I tend to pray more than I used to and it seems to help when things aren't going well in my life. I just ask God to help me through whatever is happening. Sometimes we can't change things in our lives but we can ask for help to understand it and get through it.

We have to keep things in perspective in life, don't we? A spacecraft makes an historical landing on a comet and what do we hear about in the news?....Kim Kardashian's a.. Really?

I love your clothes drying racks. My husband goes crazy in the summer because I use those and they fill the guest rooms with drying lavender. If we get visitors, they have to sleep with these racks in their room! haha

Thinking about you and wishing you and your family well. Keeping your mother in law in my prayers!

Kristen - a simple "thank you" for what you do. Your posts allow me to connect with my 10th grade daughter, now in here second year of French, in a way that grately surpasses my tiny vocabulary. And seeing your email in my inbox always gives me a brief second of peace as I recall my trips to the Dordogn and Provence.
I hope that the challenges of life don't get you down. Ailing parents and neighbors losing their minds happens. Today my wife is divorcing me. But I'm going to take each day one at a time. Do the right thing. And know that this too shall pass. Tommorrow is full of challenges, but also of promise. It is important to keep your head when others are losing theirs. And once a week turn everything off and spend 24 hours with your family as best you can.

When bad things happen I think of all the people who have had much worse, recall how the handled it with great courage, go for a walk, then try to tell someone, somewhere a funny joke or story to make us both laugh. I think it might be the Irish way. Someone once said being Irish is knowing life will break your heart and laughing anyway. Something like that...

So sorry you had the email from that person who must be ill in some way. Feel sorry for them. When I am down I think of the old song 'Pick yourself up, dust yourself down and start all over again'. With a deep breath and a smile on my face it always works for me. Good luck. Vee

1. Allow myself to absorb what has happened
2. Allow myself to greive. I know this sounds cliche, but if I am overwhelmed I visualize myself reclining with my head on Jesus' shoulder. Somehow this vision incompasses what I usually need - comfort and knowledge of a higher power all in one. Or if I am scared I visulize myself snugged in close to God under enourmous wings. (beneath my pinions you will find refuge...)
3. Remind myself of the blessings in my life
4. Change what I need to.
5. Live.

When bad things happen I place it all in Jesus' hands and know that all things work together for good for those who love the Lord.
Make the most of your time off and recharge your batteries.

à bientôt !

I usually don't write comments, but your essay this time provoked me to do so. The person who tweeted that ugly comment obviously hasn't followed your posts over the years, or else she or he would have learned about the many ups and downs you have had in your life over the years. All of us have ups and downs in our lives and whatever life may appear "perfect" to others, may be filled with all kinds of heart aches (both large and small). We are all human and all flawed. Only love and compassion (for friends, family, animals, the earth, strangers, etc.) keep us flying with the angels.

For me, bad things are when others say hurtful things to me. First, of course, I examine my own behavior to see if I somehow warranted such treatment. Then I remember something someone once told me: "What others think of me is none of my business!"

What do I do when bad things happen to me? I've learned to be resilient over the years. I lost most of my immediate family when I was a teenager, so I learned early that tragedy happens. It helped to make a family of my own to love and depend on in times of grief. Divorce threw another wrench in the works, but time has passed and my family has become resilient again and peaceful. In the midst of those bad events, take time to take care of yourself and loved ones, reflect and pray until days are better. The wisdom and resilience you gain, you can share with others when their grief is new.

When bad things happen I pray!

I cry...PRAY PRAY PRAY...and move on with my life and take with me the lesson I learned.

"When there is nowhere else to go, go down on your knees." When my youngest child was 11 she became critically ill, suddenly, with a cardiac problem. The days were filled with an emergency room, transfer to a Children's Hospital, weeks spent there, days in ICU. Four years of constant anxiety and fear followed, so many doctor visits and tests, repeat hospitalizations,until at age 14 she underwent successful surgery that was fraught w/complications. It was and is the most life-changing time of my life. She is 34 now, beautiful, successful, healthy. No other "bad thing" can even come close. Prayer sustained me.

Kristin, we will miss you over the next 3 weeks and await your return. When bad things happen we question why and often there are no answers. We seek solace with family members and close friends and try to move forward, not back nor get stuck in the moment. Laughter and hugs help get us throught rough times.

Bon Courage, mon amie.
Meg Martin

When everything ganged up on me and went horribly wrong about 14 years ago, I kept trying to deny it and soldiered on, making everything worse. Then one day, I decided to give in to it all - but with a time limit. I let myself feel completely miserable and to wallow in those feelings for a week, without even trying to feel better. To my great surprise, a positive outlook returned by Thursday! It was a great lesson to me in acknowledging reality, instead of trying to spin it. Hang in there!

It's not a question of "when" bad things happen. They are, they do, they will, it's ongoing. And I am powerless. But God is able. So I pray and leave it in His hands as much as I am able. (translation ~ I still feel the hurt, the frustration, and the desire to "help" God!)

The incident in your neighborhood is nothing short of a horror. Someone was truly SICK. As for the ugly post ~ I read many of them, and all I see is love, respect, gratitude... Focus on the rest of us.

(Marti and I still talk about having met you a few years ago. It was a highlight of our trip. You were gracious and welcoming. Surely that helps make up for the nasty one!!!)

I try to never react immediately, as that can sometimes make things worse. I breathe deeply, calm down, and then try to look at the situation with as little emotion as possible.
Process.
Afterwards, I pick up whatever pieces exist, always try to remember the positive, and tell myself that I will survive and life is good and will get better.

First...I L0VE the photos always because I am transported to my favorite county...(next to ITALY...both are tied for first place.
The woman who wrote that "venting" statement is not reading between the lines...seeing that you share often the sadness and things that do go wrong. She must have been always an envious bitter person for which there is not much hope. Even if she won the lottery, she would be unhappy.

About when things go wrong...if things come in bunches, I might run fast and hard to release the hurt from my body....let it leave my body. If there are things going wrong because I have brought it on myself from too much on my plate, over-commitments in my schedule that leave me vulnerable to accidents or clumsiness (meaning I brought it on myself), I look around to see something I can change in the physical world...as if to remove clutter and make me feel I am not helpless. That might come out as a vigorous scrubbing of a floor....vacuming...sweeping...pulling weeds...cleaning a drawer. (You can pray while you do all these.) Once I took off all the paintings on the walls...so my surroundings would be plain and minimalist. Being pro-active is good medicin.

Keep Calm. Pull myself together and PRAY.

It's usually a 3-step process: I breathe, I pray, and I call a friend or family member to ask for support. Blessed be ~
P.S. The photo is beautiful especially the dishes:):):)

One helpful link for Suicide Loss Survivors is Alliance of Hope for Suicide Survivors. An online community where survivors can find support 24 hours a day. http://www.allianceofhope.org/

Bad things will always happen. My walk with God helps me weather the bad moments of life. Working in my gardens is also soothing. Then there is always chocolate.

I too have had people say to me, "Oh you are so lucky" - I cringe every time. Lucky to have a son with not one but three kidney transplants to his name, lucky to have my Mother die of cancer, the list goes on. When my mother died I read "Why Bad things Happen to Good People" by Harold Kushner and I loved his sentiments. Bad things just happen, that is life. We make our heaven or hell in how we react to these events. I know others have overcome much worse events in their lives. And yes, life goes on for us "lucky" ones. But we grieve, we cry and we keep living. Sometimes that's the hardest thing to do. Are we really the lucky ones? We work for what our material possessions, they don't just show up. When we loose them, it's not so bad. But when we loose our loved ones, it's always harder and unlucky has nothing to do with it. I read many of the comments and I do agree, we just have to keep on keeping on. Enjoy the life you make as only you can make it.

I walk and walk and walk during good and bad times. I squeeze my dog, if he is near. Walking with him is pretty much the best there is.

Thinking of you, Kristin. Enjoy your time away. You are appreciated and your stories very much enjoyed.

Praying, warm hugs from my husband, walking with my friends and thinking this too shall pass.

Je suis désolé. You are undeserving of any such nasty comments. But, we know what kind of world we live in now. I do firmly believe that when a person hates, they do damage to themselves and not to the object of their hatred.

Kristin: Each morning it is a joy to check in and see what interesting things you have for us. Thanks. One of bad things was my brother missing in action for 18 months and then his being a prisoner of the Japanese for three and a half years... Prayer, prayer for his safe return. He did, had a fine family, and retired from the US Air Force.

Great question! When I hit a bad thing I think: this is great material for a book.. who wants to read about plain sailing?

A top sommelier from a London Michelin starred restaurant visited yesterday and we were talking about our conversion to organic in the vineyard and I said it was the 'valley of despair' for the first year cold turkey for the vines and all that... he said 'We have a saying for it in service when you are having a bad one... 'when you go through hell keep going!'' Had a good laugh.

As I was scrolling down to leave my comment, my eyes caught Lori's comment which she left at 2:20pm. I was contemplating on how to share those exact thoughts!!! She literally typed out my words. I've never shared exactly what I do when I'm in need of comfort, but she did! I never knew anyone else did the same or even thought the same way I did. So, thank you, Kristi and I'm so sorry you've had a challenging week or so. I will pray that your time away is sweet and unhurried and full of refreshment!!! :-) (coming to AZ by chance?!) Thank you, Lori, for sharing what I hadn't the courage to for some reason.
P.S. I would also just add in a cup of tea and some quiet walks! :-)

Chere, chere Kristin:
Many years ago someone once said to me"why is it that when bad things happen, people ask 'why me?' But when good things happen, people rarely say 'why me?' When bad things happen. I try to remember all the good things and it helps me to get through the rough moments. Let me finish by saying something my dad used to say:"Those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." Those of us who matter think the world of you and your family. Each day, I enjoy reading about your challenges of living in a foreign culture. You have accomplished so much! Stay focused on all the good things in your life. BONNES VACANCES!!

So glad your puppy is back! I lost my two old girls, age 13 and 15, this summer and miss them terribly! To ease the pain of that loss, I went to our local animal shelter and adopted a 6+ year old lab mix. She is my Black Angel, I can't believe she waited in that shelter 6 weeks before I got there and nobody showed any interest in her and her previous life is unknown as she was picked up as a stray. Now she has a wonderful home with us and is my definite best friend and confidant. Which brings me to answer your question, what do I do when things go bad? I hug my dog and take up needle and thread and quilt, my passion and my therapy. I am also a quilt teacher so I am a huge advocate of creativity as a go to stress relief when things get to be too much. No abandonment here, love your posts, wish I knew French, but alas one day. My family is English so am trying desperately to make a trip over to jolly ol' England to visit and see all the places my Mom talked of. Would love to win the framed print, it is beautiful and love the verse. I have been a subscriber since the sometime around '04, so you have my loyalty! Chin up! Good times are coming! Sincerely, Tracy B. Snyder

The older I get, the more I find myself chanelling my mother. She was always a happy, jolly person, who appeared never to be sad. She was loved by everyone, and referred to as "the Merry Widow". Her remedy for "when bad things happen...." was, a nice cup of tea, a good walk, a good night's sleep. Consecutively, or separately. It really works for me. The best medicine. !!!

When truly bad things happen, as I look back, I guess I try to center myself, and function. Tomorrow it is two years since my son was killed. A friend brought Jack to me to tell me the news at work, and then brought us home. I called my daughters, and a few close people and our pastor, and then sent emails to people, so they'd hear it from us. From there the focus went to caring for other people.
For most stuff, the Bible passage, "This too shall pass." gives me perspective. Practicing my faith when things are OK helps to me hold it when they get tough. Deep breaths help in the moment. And working on the solution moves me forward.

I try to look for the positive even in the most challenging situations. Here is my most recent example. I took the bar exam in July. In Ohio, it is a 3-day exam. The evening after day 2 I woke up at 1AM my entire body covered in sweat - I immediately thought - I don't think this is going to end well... As I sat on the hotel bathroom floor vomiting a lot - I thought to myself - the positive in this situation is...I am one flu away from my perfect weight (a line from a very funny movie) and/or I will have a great story if I am able pass the bar! The good news is that I passed!!

Hi Kristin,
I was just thinking how marvelous it is that you have what sounds like a wonderful life in France and was a bit taken aback by the envious/hostile writer.... I am wistful to have the experience of living in Paris, but I do not begrudge your happiness. This is easy as you so generously share your life with all your followers.
I don't really understand why you lost half your subscribers but I am sure you will either get them back or new ones will find you.
Events like that with your neighbor is a good reminder of the truly dreadful suffering that there often is in the world ... it is often right under our noses.

During times of dreadful misfortune... I get really depressed and immobilized and then it is almost as if I get stunned by some beauty in my life...the way the sun comes through the window, a young persons smile, a minor but lovely pleasantry from a gentleman as he, unexpectedly, opens my door, the pleasure of getting lost in doing a watercolor, amusement at some French figure of speech, the love of my partner shining out at me waiting for me to snap out of it... Rarely am I able to pull myself out of it by my own bootstraps. It is almost always a gift from the natural world or another human being who is walking the walk just like I am (and all the rest of us too).