Nice: Words to those who are saddened. Parler. Talk.
Saturday, July 16, 2016
I was listening to my car radio, as a French psychiatrist spoke about trauma. He mentioned three groups of victims.
The first are those directly affected (physically injured) by the event.
The second are those who witnessed the event.
The third are those who are aware of the event: you and I.
I don't know anyone personally who was in the attack in Nice. A friend of my daughter's lost her aunt. Typing those words brings a swift physical reaction, tears shooting to the surface of this vessel. It is a strange and mysterious vessel, sometimes out of my own control (tears, twitchings). We walk our vessels around, our souls nestled somewhere inside. Where? In our big toe? In the depths of a dilating pupil? Or somewhere in the brain where, like God beyond a cloud, I have always pictured this to be. (I don't mind if you think I'm naive.)
It is all un mystère. It is not vital to know our origin. We will go on breathing, hearts beating. Some of us search for meaning, knowing (or reminded by others) that we cannot know beyond what we see.
(Love being one exception.)
This brings us to another mystery: our emotions. How are we feeling right now? Numb, guilty, sad, angry, misunderstood, in love, in despair, confused? Do we want to eat? Shop? Sleep? Is it right, wrong on a day like today?
As France begins three days of national mourning, we are given a hint on how we should proceed over the next days: en deuil. Up to each one of us to decide what it means to mourn and how we will do it.
The radio psychiatrist I told you about went on to give advice about what to do after a traumatic event: Parler. Talk. This is what I am doing now. Thank you for listening. If you would like to talk, too, join us here in the comments box.
Amicalement,
Kristi
Picture of our dog and our precious daughter. I have learned over the past 6 months that words cannot always ease suffering. So I have narrowed down my words, to two in particular, and I believe these two words do help those experiencing despair: Hold on.
Thanks for sharing this post. This poem might be of help to you as well: Desiderata, in English and in French, click here.
A Message from Kristi: Ongoing support from readers like you keeps me writing and publishing this free language journal each week. If you find joy or value in these stories and would like to keep this site going, donating today will help so much. Thank you for being a part of this community and helping me to maintain this site and its newsletter.
Ways to contribute:
1.Zelle®, The best way to donate and there are no transaction fees. Zelle to [email protected]
2.Paypal or credit card
Or purchase my book for a friend and so help them discover this free weekly journal.
For more online reading: The Lost Gardens: A Story of Two Vineyards and a Sobriety
I agree. Love your people. Talk to them. Talk to new people, too, because you might just start loving them.
Posted by: Yvonne | Saturday, July 16, 2016 at 01:13 PM
Kristin, your words brought back the memories of how I felt after 9/11 occurred . I could not hold back the tears which came often during that time. But talk helped and after a while, these uncontrollable tears stopped. I did not know anyone who actually was in New York and experienced that disaster, but what I did know was that things would never be the same. We experienced evil and sadly it continues. I pray everyday that God will remove terrorism from our world, so that we all can once experience joy in the entire world. God bless all the people of France who seem to be getting more than their share of this evil!
Posted by: Geraldine Ventura | Saturday, July 16, 2016 at 01:24 PM
I have gone through the 'stunned silence' phase and have now talked endlessly to my poor husband about it. Round and round we go again and again. But you are right, we soothe ourselves by getting it out of our bodies. Living at the moment in Les Arcs, it feels very close. I like to be respectfully quiet too and just sit for a moment in the cool dark of the church.
Posted by: Jan L | Saturday, July 16, 2016 at 01:31 PM
Merci pour le message simple.
Posted by: Lorraine | Saturday, July 16, 2016 at 01:34 PM
Although I live a long way from Nice- in the Dordogne- I have people who I maybe play Scrabble with on line and have never met- in USA- asking how I am, if I'm safe- this happened after the terrible tragedy in Paris.
Thank you for your words on here today.
I feel sad not only for what is happening in the world but because I have a disabled husband going through dreadful depression and I'm unable to help, I do what I can but its never enough
Posted by: Val | Saturday, July 16, 2016 at 01:35 PM
Merci Kristin. Tears welled up as I was reading, I am going to join up with a French speaking meeting group today to do exactly what you've suggested, talk and listen. And be with others similarly affected. Peace and light,
Posted by: Jenn | Saturday, July 16, 2016 at 01:46 PM
Yes, talk and talk even to those who we don't agree with, and try to bring reconciliation and peace wherever we can. We have been reeling here with the mounting body count of young black men and some women dead at the hands of police, Orlando, Dallas...now Nice. Je vous embrasse fort,
Jo
Posted by: Jo | Saturday, July 16, 2016 at 02:03 PM
I too was transported emotionally to 9/11 when I learned of the attack in Nice Thursday night. At times yesterday I was almost paralyzed ... Losing a train of thought ... Forgetting what task I was about to do. Talking last night helped me realize why I'd been transported emotionally to 9/11 when I was a witness working in downtown Brooklyn when the planes hit, walking through ash and pulverized glass and concrete. I wasn't at ground zero but only 2 miles across the river so I was affected and still jump at loud noises and constantly look for exits when in crowds. Every work day I still travel to Brooklyn through the Prt Authority bus terminal and subway and have a mental map of escape routes if the unthinkable happens. In 2013 I spent 2 weeks on vacation in Nice. Our apartment was on the top floor overlooking the Promenade Anglais on the corner of Rosa Bonheur a small street leading to Californie. Yesterday I kept trying to image be how such a large truck could have gotten to the avenue abutting the Promenade and decided it must have been near the hospital. I read last night that was the attacker's route. All of these attacks are horrendous. I think this attack hit me hard because of my knowledge of the city, my memories of the people I met, the shopkeepers who made my vacation so wonderful. So the words of the psychiatrist on your radio have helped me to understand how deeply my grief is for the people of Nice. Thank you as always Kristie.
Posted by: Suzanne in Monroe, NJ | Saturday, July 16, 2016 at 02:09 PM
Thank you Kristin. I live very far from Nice, in Reunion Island but when I turned the radio on at 6am, just after waking up,I felt so deeply hurt, so deeply sad, I couldn't help crying. I discussed this horrific tradegy with my students and we all felt so helpless, not being able to show and give our support, show and give our love for real to all those suffering, over 10,000km away. So deeply sad... but yes, you are right : "Hold on" is the only way to go.
Posted by: Adeline Richarson Reunion Island | Saturday, July 16, 2016 at 02:14 PM
It is good that helpful advice is broadcast. I lived in NYC, and worked in the financial district, on September 11, 2001. I believe the Public Service Announcements were helpful to the city. Reminding us what was normal - feelings, reactions, thoughts - in an abnormal time. I felt for those in New Orleans, who were disbursed after Hurricane Katrina, and probably did not have the opportunity to benefit from the same type of valuable information. Comfort each other. Talk as long as you need to tell the story. 🙏🌎
Posted by: Trina from St. Petersburg, FL USA | Saturday, July 16, 2016 at 02:14 PM
Kristen, as always your beautiful words are such comfort as we mourn wth Nice and all of France.
Thank you
Marcia Stoub
Posted by: Marcia Stoub | Saturday, July 16, 2016 at 02:24 PM
My first reaction was to say to myself, "not again!" My second reaction was, "When will this madness ever stop?"
My dear friends in Nérondes told me that the the Vice Mayor lost his son in Nice on the 14th. I didn't know him but the little town is very dear to me. Last night all the residents put a candle in their window. My home is approximately 9000km from there but a candle in my window was burning last night too.
Last November my daughter was locked in her office and hiding under her desk when the shooters attacked her office compound in San Bernadino, CA. We were terrified and all we could do was wait to see if she was going to be okay. We came to the realization that no one is immune from this type of an event. We were so re-leaved when we learned that she was safely evacuated from her office. In the aftermath out family became closer.
Perhaps the tragedy in Nice will have a similar effect and make the people even stronger than they are. My observation of the French is that they are very resilient. My deepest condolences go out to all the families and friends of those who were lost.
Posted by: Dennis - Sebastopol, CA | Saturday, July 16, 2016 at 02:46 PM
Good words ... Talk. Hold on. Thanks for sharing! Reminded me that even I the hardest of times, 'connection' and 'hope' are 2 good gifts we can be thankful for. There is always something to be grateful for. Continuing to talk to God on behalf of our precious French friends and hang on to hope for all of us:)
Posted by: Dawn Bouchard | Saturday, July 16, 2016 at 02:47 PM
yes. hold on.
Posted by: Sue J. | Saturday, July 16, 2016 at 02:55 PM
First, thanks Kristi for your 14 years of work uniting us and making us closer friends of France. Second, patience and fortitude from here . . . we have been there. We are helping an immigrant couple with their English, and take comfort from their happiness that they have a chance. Our son is a diplomat in Sudan, working to see East African kids get the treatments for polio and malaria they need; he has helped thousands so far. So -- each of us, back to work. There are more of us than them. -- John
Posted by: John Moeling | Saturday, July 16, 2016 at 02:56 PM
Your words echo what many of us are feeling - and reading these comments makes me realize that there is more kindness in this world than evil. I'm far away as well, in Canada - though at times like this, the world seems a bit smaller and I feel as if this has occurred to friends and family. The same day that we were watching the news of the attack, in this country we were awaiting to hear news of a missing five year old precious girl; her mother had been found dead in her home, the child missing. Sadly, the child was found dead - so watching the news was just gut-wrenching. It makes me feel a bit better to know that we are all grieving together. I too will place a candle in the window tonight; for everyone. Thanks for your words - blessings to all.
Posted by: Deborah Crawford | Saturday, July 16, 2016 at 03:12 PM
Well said, Krissy...in a time when it is not easy to know what to say.
I just continue to believe that good will triumph over evil, and that the more of us who think good thoughts, the better the world will be. It is hard right now, but I continue to hope.
Love to the niçois, and everyone else who is grieving in France, and abroad.
Posted by: Kate Dickerson | Saturday, July 16, 2016 at 03:24 PM
Sorry - I typed too fast, KRISTI!
Posted by: Kate Dickerson | Saturday, July 16, 2016 at 03:25 PM
It's an upside down world we live in at present, and one would have to be catatonic to not feel great sorrow at times. And the more sensitive a person is, the greater the sorrow, but the greater the joy when that sorrow lifts. Yes, it's a crazy ride we are on, and we must just hang on. One never knows what is around the next corner ... maybe the sun will be warm on our shoulders, the wind will be at our back, and the ride home will be a little easier.
Posted by: Jim in Carlsbad | Saturday, July 16, 2016 at 03:37 PM
I am so sad. My husband and I were in Nice in May and walked along the Promenade. My stomach turned upside down when I heard about this horror just as it did when I heard about the carnage in Orlando, another place that I have been, Dallas where my brother lived, Paris that I love so much, and when the twin towers were hit--I worked in Manhattan then. I am sickened by this violence and disregard for life. Every day, at dinner I make a toast to world peace.
Posted by: Mary Kopala | Saturday, July 16, 2016 at 03:44 PM
"I will lift up my eyes to the hills. Where does my help come from? The Lord, the maker of heaven and earth..." https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Psalm+121&version=KJV
Lifting the eyes up is an act of the will: when we're downcast, it takes a conscious effort to look up, seeking something bigger than ourselves...something mountainous and marvelous and massive, something so big that it can bear our hard questions. King David screams out, "Where...? Why?..." and spends the rest of his Psalm reminding himself of the basics: God is better than me, He loves me, and His plan is a whole lot more complex than my petty vanity can grasp."
It isn't Mother Nature that the psalmist refers to, it's the God of the entire universe, the God who made those starry nights when we go, "Wow, awesome!" the God who made the endlessly fascinating to-and-fro and sparkle and glimmer of the waves, the God who painted the flowers of summer and the leaves of autumn and who highlights His creation with winter's hoarfrost--THAT is what King David may have had in mind as he did his own therapy, lifting up his eyes to the hills!
We live in a fallen, broken world, and that cry of "Unfair!" or "Why me?" or "How could God let that happen?" are all sighs of the soul that desperately longs for that perfection of the Garden of Eden; these sighs should lead our hearts, weeping and yearning, back into the arms of the loving Abba/Daddy, as Jesus called Him! (Oh, and let's just forget about trying to understand--believing that our petty, finite minds should be able to grasp what the God of infinity has up His sleeve...talk about vanity!)
Posted by: david | Saturday, July 16, 2016 at 03:47 PM
Your advice is very wise. Although some may say we're just sharing our misery with others, it really helps to talk about things that bother us. Once we say them, they don't seem to be as big anymore. Your comments gave me some peace and I thank you.
Posted by: Daryl Younker | Saturday, July 16, 2016 at 03:52 PM
Kristin,
Thank you for your thoughts and sharing not just about national tragedy but also, and maybe most importantly, the everyday. You have touched so many people, so many you probably aren't even aware of. I'm one of those.
Thank you, Todf
Posted by: Todd | Saturday, July 16, 2016 at 03:59 PM
This time last year I stayed at Le Meridian, near where this unthinkable attack happened. Mentally I was there again yesterday and grieved as I could "see" the carnage behind my closed eyes. Is nowhere safe? What is the answer? We cancelled our Spring trip to Brussels just after the attack in March. Should we now cancel our September trip to Barcelona? NO! I refuse to allow those terrorists to win. We will go, with heightened awareness, and hope for the best. Bless you, Kristi, for always providing us with food for thought.
Posted by: Jeanne | Saturday, July 16, 2016 at 04:04 PM
We visited our friends in Nice many times so are familiar with the scene of this latest tragedy. It's so difficult to wrap our heads around these continuing horrible events. It's like we third group members are, also, experiencing PTSD, of a sort. We feel fortunate to have internet connectivity so we can reach out to Nice, to Istanbul, to Paris, to California, and other places with "Are you alright? Sending love." Trying to stay grounded, and be kind and compassionate to everyone.
Posted by: Mim (Richmond,VA, USA) | Saturday, July 16, 2016 at 04:12 PM
Yes, thank you for sharing your thoughts Kristin. And I agree w/ Kate: we must believe good will triumph over evil. Sending prayers to Nice and all of France.
Posted by: Becky | Saturday, July 16, 2016 at 04:18 PM
My husband and I always called Nice our home away from home. We love it, but most especially the people we came to know over our 11 trips there. My husband died May 27th, and he used to say to me during his illness, "lets go back there." Thus the tragedy hit me doubly hard. The love of my life is gone, and the place that meant so much to us is suffering also. I have no answers for how to deal with this, but I do know that when I talk one-on-one with my good friends I feel better. It will never be the same, but one thing I can count on is your beautiful writing. I always feel I am right there with you enjoying the best France has to offer. Thank you.
Posted by: Jeanette Locker | Saturday, July 16, 2016 at 04:21 PM
Une immense tristesse. I woke up too early yesterday and today, feeling sad and disgusted with these horrors in the world. My heart goes out to the families and friends of the victims. Your words helped to ease the sadness and stress of it all.
Posted by: Gwyneth | Saturday, July 16, 2016 at 04:25 PM
As I was in Paris last November 13, I understand somewhat the insanity of the horrible tragedy in Nice. When the shock was somewhat worn off, the expressions of love and support from family and friends was vital. That is my wish for those who were touched personally by this tragedy. That love and support will enable them to go on in the face of this senseless brutality. My heart goes out to everyone in France, as that country that I love so much has seemingly been singled out for this madness... keeping in mind that no one is safe-certainly not those of us in the US. Many years ago on television there was an early morning tv show hosted by a man named Dave Garroway. He ended each show with one word-PEACE.
Posted by: dave kapsiak | Saturday, July 16, 2016 at 04:28 PM
It is so true that to talk about the feelings which surge through us after such a tragedy is very necessary. Our rage , helplessness & sympathy & sorrow for those whose lives will never be the same again We have to continue though,because by so doing these people do not win.I watched the first night of the Proms on UK television last night . The Albert hall was lit in the colours of the French flag & the Marseillaise was played before anything else .The audience stood & applauded for several minutes after . Despite Brexit we still feel very close to our neighbours across the Channel
Posted by: Audrey Wilson | Saturday, July 16, 2016 at 04:32 PM
"My subject is War and the pity of War" - Wilfred Owen 1916
The world is at war, which is tragic. As I write this in South Africa, I want those who have lost loved ones to know that, like so many others, I share their grief, for in this age of instant communication, such tragedies are international. I hope that together we can find ways of stopping such atrocities happening anywhere in the world. We must insist that our leaders really lead.
Thank you Kristin, for what you have written encourages us to search our souls and in so doing to wish to comfort those facing loss
Posted by: Mike | Saturday, July 16, 2016 at 04:35 PM
I just fell in love with Nice again last fall after not having been since 1982. I found a fascinating church with very modern-looking stained glass windows, a sweet pharmacy that carried the shampoo & sunscreen I like, a mythical, delicious little restaurant(La Merenda), the antiques market(where I bought torchons from the 30s). I had a swim at the eastern corner of la corniche, where a gaggle of pale, teenage boys suddenly jumped into the sea near me. I went to the Matisse museum up in the hills. This was all in one day. Everything unfolded in a relaxed way, as if by magic. I felt I was carried along by angels from one moment to the next.
Yesterday I found myself ferociously cleaning out a chicken coop. It helped my grief to put a small corner of the world in order. I can't imagine the hatred in the truck driver's heart. I too have felt road rage, though, and just cursed out some pedestrians blocking my bike path earlier in the day on Thursday. Yesterday I reflected on how that really does not help anything and resolved to de-escalate. This is not to compare my rage with his, but it is inevitable to try to think how we could do better in the world when it seems to be cracking wide open.
What would turn the world around?
I wish I could figure that out.
Posted by: Leslie NYC | Saturday, July 16, 2016 at 04:37 PM
Thank you Kristin and so sad for your adopted country's tragedy.
We do need to talk - but talk with - create those human bonds - the bonds to which to 'hold on'. That is how we will get through - by holding on and talking with one another.
Posted by: Cynthia | Saturday, July 16, 2016 at 04:41 PM
Dear Kristi:
Thank you for your simple message. I was born in France and am so saddened to see these acts of violence continue not only in France but throughout the world.
I am flying into Nice in September to visit France by boat. We must not let these
terrorists prevent us from living our lives and continuing to travel to France.
My heart goes out to France and its people. Stay safe.
Janine
Posted by: Janine | Saturday, July 16, 2016 at 04:45 PM
I feel hurt to the core about these evil killings but in the midst of pain I do "hold on" knowing its God who holds me in His hands ❤️
Praying always🙏
Posted by: Pamela | Saturday, July 16, 2016 at 04:48 PM
and ......I have five words - Keep calm and carry on. Nevertheless, I feel so sad, not just for now, but for the future of our children and their children. Love conquers all, but how can we get that message through. ?
Posted by: Patricia Ramos | Saturday, July 16, 2016 at 04:49 PM
Yes, Kristi. Talk. Hold on. And I would add "act on what we can control -- i.e., spread love."
Posted by: Julie Farrar | Saturday, July 16, 2016 at 04:57 PM
I am horrified at what happened -- it has to stop! We are not living as God meant us to live, and we need to change that. My heart goes out to all good people and to those that are not living as God meant I feel sorry for you that you think you can do these things and in the name of God - oh that is surely never true. Stay Strong!
Posted by: [email protected] | Saturday, July 16, 2016 at 05:06 PM
Kneeling in prayer with love, offering a little poem:
BLOOMING HEART (c) K. J. Laramie
Maneuvering through the veins of a leaf
growing toward the sun
My life is but a prayer for you
intricate lacework done
My heart blooms with the names of God
My mind listens with great intent
Speak through me
Do through me
Be through me
My waiting branches bent
Posted by: K.J. Laramie | Saturday, July 16, 2016 at 05:12 PM
My next door neighbor is a young policeman. He is also a loving husband to a kindergarden teacher father of an 18 month old and a 3 year old. We are used to hearing squeals of laughter and enjoying a house filled with light in the evenings.
Then the Black Lives Matter moved in with their hate because a policeman shot an armed black man after a call came into headquarters that an armed man had confronted someone in front of a convenience store. He was shot while reaching for the gun in his front pants pocket. Thee is a video of the gun being removed from the pocket after the man was shot. and, unfortunately, killed.
I do not believe the outcome would have been any different had the dead man been white, yellow or, for that matter, green. He refused to stop moving when told to by an officer of the law who was, admittedly, afraid for his own life. Statistics show that policemen are six and a half times more likely to be shot by a young black man than anyone else. That is not racial bias, just the truth.
Last week, following this shooting and subsequent events ("protests") there was no laughter of children at play next door and their home was dark because my neighbors were forced to vacate their home when computer hackers got the names, addresses and phone numbers of the police in our hometown.
Our community has come together, offering the police food, drink and nap beds as they work 12 hour shifts in 100 degree heat. Obama invited leaders of BLM to the White House. Ca C'est coyon.
Fay Plauche' Butler
Posted by: Fay Butler | Saturday, July 16, 2016 at 05:14 PM
Bien ecrit mom amie. 😢
Posted by: Jan Hersh | Saturday, July 16, 2016 at 05:14 PM
Thank you, Kristi, for this timely reflection. Like you, I am an American married to a Frenchman. Your message- coupled with the thoughtful, illuminating comments from my fellow subscribers- offers peace and comfort. I consider myself so fortunate to be part of the FWAD Francophile community that you've created over the years.
On a happier note, I have just caught up on all of your posts. HUGE Congratulations to Max and Jackie, and to you and Jean-Marc, the parents who raised and educated such beautiful, talented, accomplished children!
Posted by: NYC Trish | Saturday, July 16, 2016 at 05:15 PM
Mon amie! Well written.
Posted by: Jan Hersh | Saturday, July 16, 2016 at 05:17 PM
Dear Kristi,
You and I, and WE- are not alone. Your kindness and brave-sharing are acts of love!! It is a true honor to share this world with you, Jean-Marc, Max, Jackie, Smokey-Dokey, Braise, and your parents, siblings, and friends:) We all are, after all, passengers on the same bus - our universe:) God Bless you all, we send our prayers to you for peace and comfort.
Amicalement,
Shari - une amie que vous n'avez pas deja recontrer!
Posted by: Shari Forcina | Saturday, July 16, 2016 at 05:23 PM
Poor France. I always appreciate the sincerity and authenticity of your blog and it is a good forum for us to process this atrocity. My husband and I walked along the Nice Promenade in May and in June so we go right back in our memories to the crowds of carefree vacationers. Every time something like this happens, we are reminded that life is precious and we are mourning this weekend, too.
Posted by: Heidi from California | Saturday, July 16, 2016 at 05:26 PM
Kristin:
More terrible violence in France and here in the US and now Turkey.
Makes it hard to listen to the news any more.
My son and his family are in France right now visiting her family in St Etienne.
We will Skype with them on Sunday and try to say something comforting in our
pauvre French.
The World seems very sad right now.
Edie from Savannah
Posted by: edie schmidt | Saturday, July 16, 2016 at 05:35 PM
I am so sad to see how much hate there is in the world. Then I remember there is so much love as well. We must continue to give that love and understanding out in the world. Smile at our neighbor, help someone in need and remember we are all one race, The Human Race.
I am sending big Hugs your way for comfort and thoughts and prayers for those families who lost loved ones.
Posted by: Karen Cafarella | Saturday, July 16, 2016 at 05:36 PM
Thank you for your comforting and wise words. A great sadness and anxiety settle upon all of us when something like this happens. When will it end? This we do not know, so to follow your advice is most helpful. My thanks, again
Posted by: Cynthia Lewis | Saturday, July 16, 2016 at 05:38 PM
Endure, any way you can. Bless us all.
Posted by: janet dreyer | Saturday, July 16, 2016 at 05:39 PM
PREMIEREMENT, thank you for the Bikini/Psalm story! It was an affirmation for me to continue painting my usual themes of love, light, oneness, and peace. With a constant barrage of terrible news here (Florida, USA) and abroad, the challenge for an intuitive painter/poet to tune all that out is almost insurmountable. Meditation and prayer help, but your words of truth settled in my bones, echoing what has always been in my heart. I was about to destroy a canvas that I had worked on for months when I awoke and read about the lady under the shade tree sharing the Light! And then all the beauty and good coming from your readers? Extraordinaire! Ou sont mes pinceaux?
Deepest sympathy to the people of France and the whole world. Beaucoup de courage!
Love Love Love
Posted by: K.J. Laramie | Saturday, July 16, 2016 at 05:43 PM
"What the world needs now is love, sweet love" I send my love to France today.
Posted by: joie in Carmel | Saturday, July 16, 2016 at 05:52 PM
Beautiful picture of your daughter, and poignant because through her connection you knew someone who was taken from the world, so it makes it indeed more personal for you and your family. This is when your daughter can become a person her friend can come to and parler. You have awareness that you are sharing with all of us and obviously with your daughter. I feel a connection to your kids after reading your book year and years ago, when they would laugh at your pronunciations etc. Take care over there.
Posted by: Cheryl | Saturday, July 16, 2016 at 06:09 PM
My condolences to you, the whole country of France, and every other country impacted by this human disaster. Hugs <3
Posted by: Betty Gleason | Saturday, July 16, 2016 at 06:34 PM
Kristi, I am so sorry for the pain that you and the entire country of France has experienced. It's so earth shattering to everyone's soul, but something so dear like the picture of Smokey and Jackie helps us all find calm and peace. Thank you for that. And know that we have all of you in our thoughts and prayers. xoxo
Posted by: Linda Lesnick | Saturday, July 16, 2016 at 06:57 PM
Viva, Nice. Long live one of the most beautiful cities in France. Courage, Nice. Our dear friends who live 5 blocks from the Promenade decided to stay home on the 14th, having learned that the restaurant they were going to on the Promenade had upped the ante for Bastille Day. Thank heaven, thank heaven. They are both still reeling from what could have happened. Anger, hatred, we have to keep it at bay, and yes, parler, parler, parler with everyone, Muslim and hose of all religions, white, black, brown, everyone.
Posted by: Suzanne Dunaway | Saturday, July 16, 2016 at 07:02 PM
Jeanette, I am so sorry to learn of your dear husbands passing. Sending extra love your way. Thinking of you.
Posted by: Kristin Espinasse | Saturday, July 16, 2016 at 07:09 PM
I liked your comments today especially. It's common knowledge now that talking to a friend is as therapeutic as talking to a professional counselor, and that's backed up by science. Here's what helps for me - retell the story over and over, but in a conscious way - notice how you feel inside your body each time it's retold, and breathe into the area where tension is being held, then release it. My prayers are with the mourning.
Posted by: Sheila Hunter | Saturday, July 16, 2016 at 07:44 PM
I immediately thought of you and your family, even though I knew you would probably not be anywhere near Nice on 14 Juillet. I think meeting the Gideon Bible lady was a gift from God and a reminder that what we can do mostly is Let go and let God.
Posted by: Diane Young | Saturday, July 16, 2016 at 07:58 PM
Thank you for this thoughtful post, Kristi. We are in Antibes for the month of July. Our teenage granddaughters are visiting from Toronto and loving every minute. We considered spending the 14th in Nice but decided to go to the beach here and then go out on a boat in the Baie de Cannes to watch the fireworks there. Thankfully.
We are talking and hugging and attempting to help this younger generation work through such a senseless tragedy. Sadly, this is part of the reality of today's world and each of us must continue to do our part to help make things better. On Tuesday we will go into Nice and pay our respects at the memorial growing on La Prom.
Taking your advice, we are holding on.
Posted by: Patricia Sands | Saturday, July 16, 2016 at 08:32 PM
Quelquefois, il n'y a pas de mots...
mais la lumière brille dans les ténèbres.
Posted by: Kim Arnold | Saturday, July 16, 2016 at 08:40 PM
My heart, many of my friends, colleagues, our hearts are with you. That someone is so wretched as to need to create such harm is the human tragedy. I like and practice the 'parler'. Mille Merci.
Posted by: Annabelle | Saturday, July 16, 2016 at 08:51 PM
Kristin thank you so much for your heartfelt searching. I happened to be in Cipieres, above, way above Nice the week before this and just flew out and back home. France has borne so much suffering. You reach and query with words,beautifully. I after the event this past November painted a picture to express my feelings. I don't wish to advertise it. But if you would like to view it . You can see it at my website mentioned below. It also has a reference to "holding on", coincidentally.
Posted by: Carole Buschmann | Saturday, July 16, 2016 at 08:58 PM
Mystics suggest your soul rests within your heart. My brain and heart concur with that sentiment.
Posted by: Laura C | Saturday, July 16, 2016 at 11:34 PM
Black Lives Matter is a movement among those who understand that they are not being treated fairly. As the mother, it pains me to see the sons of other parents having to fear this kind of uneven handling by police. 99.9% of police are giving, generous, brave and fair. In some cases, yes, force is necessary. But in many other cases it is not. The leaders of Black Lives Matter are not violent. They are good people that are asking for change. It's important for us to have compassion for those less fortunate, and for those who so bravely protect us.
Posted by: Zina | Saturday, July 16, 2016 at 11:55 PM
Absolutely beautiful Kristi....LOVE TO YOU! Eileen Burns
Posted by: Eileen Burns | Sunday, July 17, 2016 at 01:29 AM
I cried instantly when I heard the news------Promenade des Anglais-----there were several summers that we were
hanging out there, when my girls were little; in the 70's and 80's. I am very worried for France, for my daughter who lives in
Barcelona, and for us here in the States.
Posted by: Iris | Sunday, July 17, 2016 at 01:52 AM
Such a senseless tragedy! We never made it to Nice but promised ourselves next trip to France was going to include a lot of days along the coast. Unfortunately, together, we won't be making any trips since Chris' passing last October. I may have to make a single sojourn. I feel so sorry for the people of France, the Nicois, the family and friends of all the victims, and I am praying for those still in dire need of medical help. May we all still find our hearts open to one another! I'm trying to keep my aching heart open to the good in the world - and reading your writing helps me. Bless you and your family!
Posted by: Judi | Sunday, July 17, 2016 at 02:13 AM
May I also offer my condolences. I lost my dear husband last October to a massive stroke. He had been very healthy. I'm still in shock and "in loss" but I'm mostly moving forward. Not always easy for sure. We, too, were planning another return to France, even talking about moving there for a year, just the day before his stoke. Nice was to be on our itinerary of travel first before settling down.. Not to be. Just wanted you to know you have some company. You wrote a lovely note here! I agree with you about Kristi's writing! Bisous, Judi
Posted by: Judi | Sunday, July 17, 2016 at 02:24 AM
Your words, as always, are wonderful. And it doesn't diminish them to repeat the old saying "a picture is worth a thousand words". There are times that are just so devastating there's no way they can be expressed in mere words; your beautiful image expresses the sadness we all share in a way no words can capture. The sole person with her best friend reminds us that in the end we all face this tragedy alone.
Posted by: John Davis | Sunday, July 17, 2016 at 03:54 AM
Hi, Jeannette,
I have been a reader of French Word-A-Day for some years, and just saw your post. I wanted to convey my sympathy and support to you following the death of your husband. In spite of the tragedy in Nice, I think and hope that your memories of good times there with him will shine in your memory. I have an idea of how you may be feeling, because I lost my husband to cancer and three weeks later came September 11 - it felt as though I'd lost him thousands of times over. I wish you all the best, and will pray for you.
Sincerely,
Marianne Rankin
Posted by: Marianne Rankin | Sunday, July 17, 2016 at 06:19 AM
The barbarians that commit these atrocities have all too often targeted France because the French are the polar opposite of them. These sub-humans possess absolutely none of the traits that make France a great nation - culture, intelligence, class, humanity, generosity and dignity. Vive la France
Posted by: Ken Curtis | Sunday, July 17, 2016 at 06:55 AM
Cher Kristin,
Yes, it is important to talk, to comfort one another, and to know we are not alone.
We are all French right now.
The world is saddened by the events in Nice, by the irrational hatred being expressed in horrific and tragic ways. May the world somehow find a way to end this nonsense so that we may all live in peace.
Sincerely,
Tom
Posted by: Tom B, Atlanta GA | Sunday, July 17, 2016 at 03:50 PM
Dear kristi, we,your readers, want so much to reurn the love you send to us; it falls like an unending ubiquitous gentle rain. We
will hold on! I think the photo is perfect for these times. Comme toujours!
Posted by: Fred Caswell | Sunday, July 17, 2016 at 05:42 PM
Thank You for "Parler," Kristi. I can only hope that our world leaders Parler too! Your post brings to mind the "Sermon On The Mount":
“Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.
......
“Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called children of God."
Shalom!
Posted by: [email protected] | Sunday, July 17, 2016 at 07:45 PM
I felt as if I'd been hit by a "stun gun" when I read about the events in Nice. Yes, we need to hold on and focus on the positives we have in life. Not be dragged down by the insane. Your words, Kristi, help us all. Thank you for this post.
Posted by: Cynthia Gillespie-Smith | Sunday, July 17, 2016 at 10:39 PM
Our hearts are saddened and disturbed by all the recent violence, each person's reaction unique and personal. I do know that hatred and anger merely add to the level of negativity. I choose to fill my own heart with love and caring, and let it drive out the fear and sadness. I visualize healing for those left behind without loved ones. And while I hope for justice for the wrong doers, I also pray that they also be healed. It must be terrible to live with so much hate.
Posted by: Carol | Monday, July 18, 2016 at 02:00 AM
What terrible things happening to La Belle France and I grieve with you. Today in Baton Rouge, three police officers were killed. Where and when will it all stop. With prayer. Vivian
Posted by: Vivian | Monday, July 18, 2016 at 02:33 AM
Hi Kristi,
I think we all feel the same way. Our world is in chaos and we feel helpless and sad about these types of attacks all over the world. People do rally together and try to help each other during these terrible tragedies. There was an American hit by the truck and someone took him to the hospital and he was trying to find out who it was so he could thank them. Like Fred Rogers said .... "When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, "Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping." To this day, especially in times of "disaster," I remember my mother's words and I am always comforted by realizing that there are still so many helpers – so many caring people in this world."
Posted by: Eileen deCamp | Monday, July 18, 2016 at 03:00 AM
Kristi, your words brought me comfort. And I do not think you are naive! It is comforting to know that others are searching for God during these times. My heart is so heavy, yet I know that there is so much more goodness and love in the world than evil. Thank you for this posting, and for all who have left comments.
Posted by: Dawn | Monday, July 18, 2016 at 03:08 AM
Kristin, thank you. I would like to add one more. Tell your loved ones that you love them. Love will always triumph over hate as light triumphs over darkness. xoxo Mary
Posted by: mary tindukasiri | Monday, July 18, 2016 at 04:05 AM
"Talk" and "Hold on" are excellent pieces of advice. At this time, it's important to remember to focus on messages of love. Too many people are discussing the ugly side of politics, and although it's important to know the facts, it's challenging to make sense of much of what has been happening in the world recently, to not get frustrated. So, I'm trying to make an effort to be more compassionate toward others and toward myself, reminding myself to be patient, to speak more slowly and mindfully, to turn the other cheek, to focus on the big picture, on LOVE.
Posted by: Katia | Monday, July 18, 2016 at 04:26 PM
So sad that there is so much hate in the world.
We cannot forget about all of the good people as we rarely hear about them.
People need to heal themselves and to stop the violence now.
Regards,
Christine
Posted by: christine graham | Monday, July 18, 2016 at 05:09 PM
To cry is good. We feel pain, grief. We must not become immune to these atrocious acts. We try to not become numb to the weekly acts of terror that occur here in America, but it becomes harder with each event. Self preservation dictates that we compartmentalize these horrific crimes. My heart is with you, Kristi.
Posted by: Kathy Heckathorn | Monday, July 18, 2016 at 06:19 PM
Add to everyone else's my feelings of sadness, horror, grief, and a search for meaning out of the violence. Having brought students to France (including Nice) a dozen times, I feel especially sad that I may not be able to travel with students to France again. I will be back with my husband, but how can I assure parents that their precious children will be safe with me in France? Nice was always the best and most relaxing part our tour.... I am heartbroken...
Posted by: Joan L. | Monday, July 18, 2016 at 09:59 PM
I'm so glad that I chose to open this email for French-Word-A-Day today; I subscribe but seldom open it. What led me to open it today and to read Kristi's sentiments? We share a collective unconscious as Jung described- it connects us all the world over and at the deepest level. I have been a Francophile since I was 14 - 43 years long - when I began studying French in high school and last week's tragedy feels so 'close to home.' This year I have been imagining a trip to the south of France this summer, including Nice and Marseilles. Plans did not come together, so there but by the Grace of God I and someone I love could have been on the promenade on the 14th. However, the truth is, I love France, her people, her history, her bravery, courage and joie de vivre. I lost 80+ loved ones on Bastille Day and I am in mourning right alongside everyone in France for the next several days. Many thanks Kristi for providing a forum for us all to share, hurt, and heal together.
Posted by: Kimberley L, Walnut Creek California | Tuesday, July 19, 2016 at 01:29 AM
Bien dit.
Il est reconfortant de prler del la douleur en Francais........
Posted by: Kimberley L, Walnut Creek California | Tuesday, July 19, 2016 at 01:38 AM
Hello Kristi,
I do so much appreciate your kindness in providing an open forum for us all to voice both our concerns, and emotions at a time such as this..There is comfort in sharing for us all. My heart goes out to all those who are affected by all of these recent tragedies. I don't think that there is a single person in the US who cannot tell you both his/her location and the time when they learned of 9/11! We are a global family. When we weep, we weep together. We are all learning this, but at such a great cost!
Please let your dear husband know that " holding on " will bring benefits, and that the pain will lessen. And I sincerely hope that he understands that a loving, merciful God would have absolutely no part in such horrific acts ( James :13, James1:17)
My love to your whole family.
Posted by: Pam Luckey | Tuesday, July 19, 2016 at 05:43 PM
"Blessed are the peacemakers for they shall be called Children of God." A commentary that I've just read said that the opposite holds true as well. The peace-breakers shall not be Children of God. May the Peace of the Lord be with all who mourn and are saddened by the events in France, America, Belgium, Turkey and all the places around the world where the inhumanity of man has inflicted so much horror and pain.
Posted by: David Wassum | Tuesday, July 19, 2016 at 07:17 PM
Thank you, Kristen. Of all of the expressions I have searched for to encourage personal strength in this extremely conflicted time, 'Hold on," is the first one that has brought a sense of calm to my nerves, grief and fear. And the other thing I'm going to do, just like your beautiful daughter, is hug my Golden Retriever, Beau. And whisper to us both, "Hold on."
Posted by: Elizabeth Y.B. | Tuesday, July 19, 2016 at 11:07 PM
In processing the horrible event it gave me comfort to think of millions of people all over the world sending their love and thoughts to those involved personally. It is what finally helped me get to sleep.
Posted by: monica | Wednesday, July 20, 2016 at 03:41 PM
It's so horrible, what's going on in the world. I have fear that it will be a very long time before this thing gets turned around, since a problem must be identified before it can be solved. It probably won't be in my lifetime. I am 66.
Posted by: Sheila | Wednesday, July 20, 2016 at 08:27 PM
Thank you. Your words always bring peace and comfort to me. I've been quiet lately, curious if my words are creating comfort or carrying on suffering. I have whittled it down to "thank you" "I'm sorry" and "I love you". Now, I will add "hold on". Hugs and love dear friend.
Posted by: Stacy - Sweet Life Farm | Wednesday, July 20, 2016 at 08:56 PM