FRENCH WORD-A-DAY

Wow, I understand the getting older and too much work part, but from what you have said of your husband, I wonder if he can be happy without a vineyard. Or would you move to an already established vineyard? I always appreciate your honesty. It is easy for us readers to look at your home and your life and think it seems perfect, but your honesty always reminds us that that there are two sides to everything and that we all need to be content with what we God gives us and not long for what others have. I pray God gives you wisdom as you continue to make your decision,

A leap of faith is just that - jump over the obstacles and see where it takes you. That's what I have done. At this point I am still thrilled that I followed my dream, but I'm enough of a realist to know that dreams can change and what seems grand today may seem too large tomorrow. You are blessed with a wonderful family (and extended family) who supports you and your dreams. You and J-M will be fine no matter where the next chapter takes you. Thank you for sharing your journey with all of us. Bisous!

Faced as a new beginning, and you are too young to approach it otherwise, this will be yet another glorious opportunity. A challenge of the best sort. Wherever you land you will land on your feet, put down roots and cultivate a new life together. Bonne chance! Ronni

I think life leads us where we need to be led. If we will submit and follow. When we bought our bed and breakfast, many circumstances colluded to make it possible. When it was time to move on 11 years later, we observed things coming together and followed. We now live across the street from one of our daughters and their 3little ones. Just be reflective and open to the universe and you will end up in the right place. Recall his depression earlier. He will find that which satisfies him. I believe this with all my heart.

I am so sorry that you are leaving your house and vineyards after all the love and care you have given them. But I am sure you are making the right decision. We bought our town house after seeing my parents gradually become isolated and unable to cope with their garden and the drive into town to shop, then slipped into old age and it became too late to change the course of their lives. Although I do sometimes miss living in the countryside, that is balanced by the joys of having time to paint, do yoga, see friends, go walking, lock up, and go and see family. Once you take the leap, I am sure life will present you with ideas and paths will open up for you to try out and take! Come and stay in my studio in Lorgues a few nights and see how it feels to live in a village! We bought it as a temporary measure, having sold our house with its huge garden. Then found we loved living in town, so bought a town house, something we never dreamt we would do. Anyway, sending you all the very best of wishes and bon courage Kristin!

Everything will work out. Take your time. You'll know,

When we moved from our hometown and a house of thirty five years a friend said to me
"changes keep you young" I kept her quote in my heart to get me through and found
it to be so true.

You, in your next venture will, once again, BLOOM where you are planted. I am convinced.
Always looking forward....you are in my thoughts.

All the messages you will receive are not mere platitudes...
Many who are older than you have been through this many times and we know that making (not delaying) the right decision is what makes the brow unwrinkle,

Also, say a "goodbye" as leave each room for the last time...thank it for all the vivid memories that pop into your head...turn .....and feel the house thanking YOU and Jean-Marc for giving it all the love you had when you had the energy to do it. With each house you have LIVED YOUR LIFE'S LESSONS. Much ❤️ and admiration !!!!!!!!!!

I, too, am considering a move, and understand the conflict. Roots and history on one side. Property maintenance, health and different desires on the other. Then how to make all things mesh and flow forward. And that is also a difficult part, using all the energy to look forward and not back. My heart goes out to you. Offering prayers up for all of you when I offer them up for my different, but similar, situation. xo

Dear Kristi,

I have so much empathy for your struggles with a major life-altering decision, especially when it is the end of a dream. I'm sure this is at the heart of Jean-Marc's depression and angst; the struggle with giving up what he loves and knows for the reality of what the body can accommodate at this stage and the acceptance of that loss is soul-searing. It comes to all of us but it's so difficult. Having spoken with a friend yesterday who is dealing with the same issue, it is fresh on my mind. Bob is feeling his age too much to continue in the business he and Julie have built together; he has no reliable help and the past two brutal Houston summers have taken a toll as have the rudeness of customers he strives so hard to please. They grapple with what the next stage of life will look like for them after some difficult past years for reasons of health and economic issues in our area.

You'll be in my thoughts and prayers as you move boldly forward into uncharted waters, but waters that will likely prove life-saving and restorative. A small herb garden in a 10x10 raised bed in a metropolitan area works beautifully. :)

Amicalement toujours,

Micki

You have made one decision and are now in the midst of making another one. A difficult time to be sure. I think that once you know where your next adventure will take you you will become energized and prepare for the tasks ahead. Dreams don't always turn out like we picture them and I am sure JM's decision was hard fought. You are an amazing loving couple who will find your next bliss and remember the past few years as one step in that direction. Your legions love you, Kristi, and are cheering you on from the sidelines. Don't forget to take us with you!!!

Thank you for this post. Your sharing will help you through this difficult time. Accepting the need for change is not easy, but you will find the strength. Best always to you & J-M.

Whatever you and Jean Marc decide to do, it will be okay. You've had a challenging but wonderful four years there, and it might be time for a new season. I can only imagine the decision is an emotional one, with many components. And, I'm sure you're considering all of your options. At some point in the near future, you will know. And, leaving isn't a failure, if that's what you chose to do. As much as you both might love your home, without additional help, it will be a continuing struggle. The knowing will come. ❤️

A year ago we sold our large home and garden for a smaller house with a city lot to clear the path for me to teach painting in France more often. All my clients and friends here asked how we could possibly give up our wonderful home and garden. My response came impulsively: "The dreams of your forties become the nightmares of your sixties." We're at least a decade apart, but it sounds like the same story. Live in the moment and you'll have no regrets.

....Dear Kristi and JM...Gerry and I are both 75 and have had so many life adventures which took us all around the world , with two kids. We ..made 18 moves in 55 years of marriage.. that is a lot by anyones measure. Each move was step up the professional ladder for him . He went first, secured our place, and I did the move and 'mop up'. Each place, like Hong Kong, with a 4 yearly and a 16 year old, was very challenging to say the least! East coast, West Coast,
Hawaii and Alaska..Paris, France, .... each one new and each one an exciting adventure. I learned to 'bloom where I was planted' and would not change a minute of our lives together. Our final move was to Tallahassee, for his 'retirement job' which lasted 6 years, and allowed us to return to France for a month every two years! the kids seemed to thrive along the way. We think we were born nomads! So many good friends all over the world and so many great memories. We have been lucky in life as well, I beat breast cancer 9 years ago and happily plod along nowadays with a 30% heart. I believe in attitude 24/7! Anything else is self defeating. You two built a great life together there and another life will find you and you will move along to another place and time.. Have faith in yourselves and a little bit of luck and all will be fine... Life is nothing if not one adventure after another.. Carpe Diem, and may God Bless both of
you in million ways... bisons, Judi Dunn.. now in Menerbes, France and loving every single second of it!

Dear Kristi,

To realize a dream is truly a gift. When that happens, I am convinced it becomes a part of who we are...forever. And as life circumstances change we may need to move on from that dream, savoring it while looking forward to another newness in our lives.

So much beauty emerged from your mas; the regeneration of the olive trees, the creation of the grapevine fields, sweet honey, gardens offering sustenance and glorious color. Yet behind it all, the burden of heavy toiling became evident. The hard part is knowing when to let go.

Reminded of the Serenity Prayer, I am wishing you and Jean-Marc serenity, courage and wisdom....

Change. Forward movement = life, inspiration, connection. Never doubt what your heart is telling you. xoxo Mary

We moved from our home to a sailboat! The adventure continues, and the change brings new friends, and a fresh way of thinking!
Live your dream! Bless you both!

Kristi, as many of the others have said, change can be good, and you, Jean-Marc and your family have been working hard to realize your dream of creating the perfect home, vineyard, and garden. To quote your words, "As for turning the page, Circumstance seems to be doing that for us." I sense (of course, my senses might be completely off) that you and Jean-Marc have already made a decision in your hearts, and although the prospect of a change of lifestyle may seem scary, remember that changes do not have to be permanent. If a change of lifestyle doesn't work out, there will always be other paths from which to choose. Life is filled with adventures that we may or may not be excited about, but I know one thing: When we surf along with the waves, without trying to fight the current, the experience might be thrilling, but it's also much calmer and more enjoyable. I will continue to keep you and Jean-Marc in my thoughts.

When faced with many tasks since the death of my husband last year before Thanksgiving,I too well understand maneuvering between projects that lead one away from the plan. Also, does one move or stay. In my eighties with a fairly large house and yard, I have arrived at a realization that a bit of depression has hit. I am with Jules during her corner turning after John's death. In some ways the new challenges we face force us into decision making we want to avoid.
Run don't walk, to the new beginning. Love to your family.

Yes, we understand. We didn't move to the "farm" that we dreamed of, but our large house and garden look a wee bit tired these days. We did find what to go toward as opposed to what we are leaving. Give that approach a try and I believe you will be fine.

Have faith. Everything happens for a reason. You will find your way through this I'm sure, and all of your readers will be with you, cheering you on, no matter what. Be gentle with yourself. Doors close, other doors open. Sending prayers and positive thoughts your way.

Simplify! Unburden yourselves! There is something about a child going off to school that changes everything. And it is a natural progression in life❤️ My husband and I had a beautiful garden that was time-consuming and extremely satisfying. Then, ultimately became too much and we weren't willing to hire someone to keep it up. Empty nesters need change too🤗Bon chance👏🏻

Aging is such a thief of strength, ambition/motivation, learning, and interest in many of life's challenges/opportunities; approaching age 90 it is easy to understand your situation. You and Jean-Marc can create many of the best of your years together following your passions and looking forward to becoming grandparents while travelling to endless places in your readings and geographic excursions, meeting interesting people, family, and friends. Whatever you decide, do not forget that you are loved by so many.

We all lived your life vicariously while sitting in our chairs sipping tea or coffee. We were part of your family. But we sensed the fatigue and the heat and the fact that it was no longer fun. We rooted for Mas des Brun, but it was not us putting in the heavy labor and worry. So, time for something new!

Please keep us in your lives, whatever is your next step. Much love and good wishes to you both.

With all you have experienced and learned your next step should be fabulous!

Chere Kristi,
Pray and take it one day at a time. There's something about the '50's - you still can do some things but really not as well as ten years ago. we moved to a new house in our 50's and never regretted it, but it sounded insane. We had paid off our first house - why on earth did we want to start over with a new mortgage? That was 29 years ago and I still love where I live now, especially since I have a few neighbors from back then. Living where you do is very demanding and you have to decide - Is it worth it? We all wish the best for you and Jean-Marc.

Kristy, Reading the thoughts of fellow readers encourages me to write and say a hearty 'amen'. You have touched hearts around the world with your transparency, joy of life, and willingness to support your family in all ways. Whatever you and Jean-Marc decide, you know that your paper and pen friends will stay beside you and will strive to be the wind beneath your wings.

Our dear Kristi,
Your words today are so beautifully written that you have just touched our heartstrings and wrapped us in hugs.
When we were facing a similar decision some years ago,a dear friend gave me an excellent metaphor:when you feel the ocean is too far,stop going to the ocean.I say metaphor because we weren't going to the ocean but trying to manage a lovely park like property with an orchard that had become too much for us.
As much as we tried to focus on the positive aspects and our blessings of having had this place,our hearts(and bodies) told us it was time to start thinking of other options.
God shows us the way by closed doors as well as open ones.Perhaps He is already speaking to you,readying you for the next chapters of your lives.
You and your dear family are always in my prayers.
Love
Natalia. xo

I hear you Kristi-

Time to think. And to that end I can suggest a very helpful downsizing book by C.J. Ware called Rightsizing your Life. It's on Amazon.

It was helpful for me when I was tossing that idea around in my head and I was only one person who had to decide. This book helps couples make the decision and whatever the decision it' will galvanize your method. It is VERY useful to read.

Hahaha ... I understand, totally. Good for you for taking care of yourselves. We downsized to an 1100 sq ft house with a postage stamp yard. The big house with acreage is behind us and I haven't looked back. Farming was a period in your lives and now you can look forward to doing something else ... take time to dream it into reality. Best wishes for a happy future! We'll be here, waiting to read/see the next chapter.

Kristi and Jean-Marc,

I know that you both have thought and thought about your options. When God closes a window, He opens a door.
But....If resources are an obstacle (money) then there are lots of "crowd sourcing sites" now on the internet. This could provide funds for irrigation and manual helpers.
How about creating a coop org. so that members can ultimately share in the profits and share in work commitments. There could also be a B&B option. I'm sure that you have received business guidance and if the "usual, conservative" methods don't work, perhaps the newest, creative sources would help!

However, if you are both simply too tired at this moment (depression does that) then perhaps it might help to share my experience: I am now 76 years old and at the age of 60, I realized that I no longer wanted to be at the losing end of economic cycles and crashes. I am an Artist and Mentor Teacher and both are impacted and first to be cut when economic conditions tank. Sooo at the age of 60 (yes, Sixty!!) I had saved money and took a year 'off' to study landscape design and sustainable gardening (very few knew "sustainable" then!) I'll cut to the chase.....I was very Successful and was grateful that I could use my artistic gifts and my passion for plants, soil and environmental protection to EARN MONEY. I was very successful as a business and did lots of business 'networking'. I'm not a type A personality so I didn't want to create an empire, which was possible. In any event, I am now retired (I maintained one favorite client. The rest were sad to see me retire.) Dreams may change form. I found that the gifts that I was born with did no need to suffer the chopping block of defeat. Whatever you both choose,old dreams don't die-- when allowed to, they simply take new forms.

Kristi and Jean Marc, you have each other. Wherever you both are will be home. You have each other. If you move to a studio apartment you will have your lover with you. My husband passed away three years ago and I moved to a smaller townhouse. It is my house but without him, I am having a great difficulty making it my HOME. Now, I wish we had downsized together. We would have had more time for each other. You are indeed fortunate to have this decision practically made for you. Abraham Lincoln once said, "People are as happy as they make their minds to be." I'm trying. I really am. You can do it. You have your lover beside you.

Yes, somethin's gotta give! As this powerful panoply of caring and supportive comments proves, dear Kristi, we are with you and Jean-Marc on whatever path you next choose to explore. Again and again, I've relied on faith to carry on through unimaginable changes, heeding signs such as you're noticing. There is no such thing as 'failure,' only shifting realities. Truth is, All Shall be Well, All Shall be Well, All Manner of Thing Shall be Well, as St Julian of Norwich assures us still.
In '09, I renovated my sizeable old house of 33 years, expecting to be there all my days, puttering in the large garden I'd created. But by '13, it had all become too much and I felt trapped and desolate ... till I undertook a major move. Friends were astonished, some even protested. My dear old place itself 'let' me go, and it is being re-purposed by the new owners. The house is gone, and I am happy in my new digs in a new city.
Feeling stuck is no fun, ever, but whatever you decide to do will burnish your well-being. So great how waves of admiration and affection zoom your way from so many caring readers; we're united! The bond we feel with you and your family is one reality that change cannot touch.

So sorry for the agonies you and JM must have endured in arriving at this decision. I have worried about how hard he, and you, seemed to have had to work to keep the whole project moving forward. (Possibly a trigger for his recent bout of depression?) Fortunately you are still young enough to be able to do many adventurous things just short of clearing and planting whole vineyards with the strength of your own backs. I know you will find that new undertaking soon, and only hope it will be as aesthetically and artistically pleasing as this one has been. And that you may have enough more spare time to be able to come and visit us in Aix/Luynes.
All the best. Robe-aire

My husband is nearly 80 and I am just a little younger. We are both active within physical limits and can look back on a life of many changes involving much decision-making. I have read a lot of comments about following your heart and I have something very practical to add to that. Pencil and paper! individually make lists of wishes, wants, pros and cons, what you each see yourself doing for the next ten years. Then hand them to each other for reading and consideration. Write notes and questions about each others lists. Wait a few days and then schedule a day to spend together discussing, dealing with the dreams and teasing out the realities of finances, locations, responsibilities, capabilities etc to set a plan for no more than 10 years ahead, could be 5. Being realistic is not giving up on dreams but it is a hedge against disappointment.

Hello Kristin,

Do you guy's have a mortgage on the house? If you do, and you must work to pay it off, then Jean Marc need's to man up. If he's just tired and has no real health issues he need's to KEEP WORKING!
If there's no REAL need to sell and move other that being tired of his vineyard than you guy's need to iron this out! Don't overextend your financial position in order to appear that your part of the 1% crowd. Buckle down and work the vineyard and stop all the unnecessary trips that may be causing a financial burden.

If otherwise, this option is not feasible, then you must sell and move on, it's just that simple.

May God Bless you and your family.
John P Senetto

I am not sure you have seen the dedicated work both of these people have put into the place. It is not for lack effort for either of them. JM has taken on a job I believe at a wine shop to help the income. Kristi blog advertisers bring in some money. They have two kids in university at this point. When more money is leaving the house than is coming in it makes for difficult times. Just because someone has a dream does not necessarily mean that all of it will come true. You are not in their shoes.

OK...I feel better now that I replied to John P, above! What was I going to say? Decisions are sometimes difficult, but all of life is made up of decisions, whether it be the big one you two are facing right now, or the seemingly small ones as what to fix or dinner. Life is all about choices. I think in the end, the choice you want to make is the one that will benefit the whole family for the years to come. You want to be able to say, "yes, we have had a good life with a few bumps in the road, but a good one." You may decide to stay, knowing that there will be hard work and that changes will have to be made. And you may decide to leave and find a smaller parcel of "the land of milk and honey". But either way you need to embrace the changes, because either way there will be changes...and that is OK. Enjoy what you have now, and if you don't enjoy it, change it. You will make the right choice. Remember "When it rains, look for rainbows, when it's dark, look for stars." hugs to you both, and Smokey.

Kristi, I am awed by the wonderful advice and the love expressed by your readers. Between your own hearts and the good advice, you and Jean-Marc will make the decision that is right for you. If grape fields are not in your future, they will remain in your memories. There is just the right spot in the South where you can live new dreams without unnecessary burdens in your life.

From the bottom of my heart, Thank You Dear Kristi's Readers, for your sweet, meaningful and wise comments.
I will soon post the reasons which have lead me considerate such an important decision
With Love,

Changes & the decisions regarding them can be difficult but you must always do what is best for you & Jean-Marc. I will keep you in my prayers as you move forward & know you will find the answers you seek.

The hard part is over---you have made the decision and now the planning for your next adventure can been. Where ever the next step leads you I'm confident that the two of you will find happiness and success. In any case, Kristin, you must continue to share your thoughts and photographs with your loving audience and the Chief Grape will find pleasure in some satisfying endeavor. Cheers to you both!
P.S. Any thoughts of AZ in your future?

Go forward & enjoy the next passage in your life.....Do not look back
except to say to each other- " job well done ".....and together move
to your next adventure... Life is all about the next stop along the way

I am reminded of this quote: “When I go out for a walk, there is so much that makes me happy to be alive. Breathing. Not thinking. Observing. I am grateful beyond measure to be part of it all. There are trees. Glorious and consoling. Changing with the seasons. Reminders that all things change. And change again.” Maria Kalman

Kristi, we are all getting older, and I certainly appreciate exactly what you are saying. Whatever you decide will be the right thing for you and your family at this time. Breathe deeply and pray -- all is well. x/o Julia

No words of wisdom, life just gives us a new day; if we are lucky. Just relax and enjoy the journey. Be thankful you have a new day to look forward too.

Dear Kristi:I have so enjoyed and marveled at so much love and devotion you and Jean Marc gave to each endeavor and I am certain your next move will be the same. Just know I want to follow you into the next chapters with love and prayer. Vivian

Oh yes! I so know where you are coming from. We have tried something similar in our late 60's and it is too much. I hope you can stay in the area or even in your house if you want. Is it possible to rent the "farm" portion to a younger sole and let them do the work for a percentage of the harvest? At least until you can decide what you want to do next.

"Go with the flow" because life is about the journey, not the destination. A new horizon and measured challenge may be just the right thing for Jean-Marc's wellbeing (and yours as well) . Leaving your ferme - a lifestyle not just a job, must be an exceptionally difficult decision to make. I am near retirement age and would love to leave my job, but I am to risk adverse so I stay to the detriment of my own happiness and health, which then impacts upon those whom I love ...... if only I could practice what I preach! Bonne chance.