FRENCH WORD-A-DAY

Perhaps...once the place in France is sold, you should embark on a tour of the United States and visit all your possibilities?Then a decision can be made? It is an adventure that awaits you and one that seems exciting to me. I myself suffer from wanderlust so in a way I envy you.

May I just remind you that Virginia has a temperate climate and an ever-expanding wine industry...just saying.

Whenever we moved, though just to a different house in the same town, it was always the plants outdoors that I hated leaving the most. I identify with you not wanting to leave your garden. Best wishes!

Go for it.....Denver or wherever. Don't wait until you're too old. That's something I did and have so regretted not taking the leap. You're still young enough to enjoy another place and time. Don't miss an opportunity and close a door. A new chapter and a new page await.

As you often have done, you brought tears to my eyes with your beautiful language and beautiful thoughts. This is a word I MUST remember. I was you earlier this year when my husband declared he wanted to move instead of live through a total renovation. I've told you this story before, about all of my tears when I thought of leaving my garden for which I still had so many dreams. However, when we took our first look at the house we would eventually buy I climbed the stairs to the third floor and found my husband standing in a large, light-filled room. The brightest room in house. I could see he was in love. For thirty years he had played his drums and had his home office in a string of dank, dark stone basements. My office space hadn't great, but at least it had been in rooms with windows and heat. I pictured him in this room, surrounded by all of his things and sunlight instead of the basement boxes and detritus of our life together. That's when I knew we were going to move and I'd make a new garden here.

I guess that was my own case of "mudita." Bon chance on wherever this journey takes you.

Limbo is the worst place to be...... You have more than one good choice, so you can't make a bad decision. You both are good at making a place a wonderful home. Each time I have left a beautiful place and think of the favorite things I leave behind ( a wall of cabinetry that my husband built, or beautiful landscaping,) I know that we will make another beautiful place together in the future where ever it may be. I know that there are more good people waiting to be friends. I know that I will find a favorite bakery or restaurant. Trust and go. Blessings, Elaine Street

So you and Jean Marc and kids AND SMOKEY--Yay, Smokey goes too!--will stay together as a family no matter where you go. It will be be scary for you, exciting for Jean Marc, and fun for the kids. Smokey will be fine in cargo. We've done it with our big golden, to and from France. Staying together is key! Blessings on you all. :-)

I've been reading, and enjoying this for years so I'm sad that you may move on from your idyllic digs.
I agree with the comment by Donna Biggs. If the Republican nominee wins the presidency it will be a disaster here. And we have many issues as it is.
I live on Long Island's North Fork. It is beautiful, a two hour jitney rice to New York City and there are many wonderful vineyards. I'd be happy to put you in touch if you'd like.

Chaque fois que nous avons demenage, c'etait difficile partir mais nous etions toujours heureux apres. Nous sommes alles de Montana a l'est a Montana a l'oeust, a Washington, et maintenant a Arizona. Nous sommes devenues deux meilleures personnes a cause de ca. Bon chance. Votre futur sera super fantastique et magnifique!

What an exciting adventure for all of you. If you need a temporary home base for a few months while you explore your options, look no further than our house - you are most welcome to stay with us! We have plenty of empty rooms, enough for the 4 of you and your dog.
Best of everything for your journey.

Why does it deem like so many people are going through a big shift right now? Having read your every word for years now, my own little family are also debating between France and the USA.
I just wanted to share with you a pearl of wisdom someone once gave me - if something scares you slightly, but at the same time excites you, those are the things we absolutely must do. That thinking has served me very well. Whichever you chose, your outlook in life and the ability to find the joy throughout, any decision will become the right decision. Best of luck!

Just a few thoughts to share~ we've communicated before Kristi, I was born in France of a French mother but grew up mostly in the United States. As much as I see Americans telling you how horrible it is here now, I agree with you that it's dicier in France right now. I don't think that most Americans realize how difficult it is to make a living in France.
I also sympathize with your nesting and introvert qualities. As an artist I also love my long periods of solitude in order to produce work. If it weren't for my husband I probably would still live in the same sad space I lived in 40 yrs ago! But he pushes me out of my comfort zone and I believe I'm a better person for it.
We happen to live in bear country in Colorado, in Snowmass Village 15 minutes from Aspen. I'm going to send you my story about the bear who invited himself into my home and ate 6 cartons of Ben&Jerrys ice cream~ quelle horreur!!!
Anyway, our bears don't eat meat or humans, so it's not so horrible, just a nuisance every 5 yrs or so it they haven't gotten enough to eat in the wilderness. Also, flowers flourish up in the mountains because we don't get the scorching heat.
Good luck you two with your new adventure- one thing I've learned in this life is that when you follow your heart it all works out.
The following is a little story of my bear visit~
I pulled into the garage with my two standard poodles and suitcases in the backseat. We were finally at the end of a two day drive from St Louis to our home in Snowmass, Colorado. We were all pretty tired and ready to get out , stretch our legs and inhale the wonderful mountain air. I must say that I remember telling myself to call our sprinkler guy and tell him that I noticed the service door to the garage open, he needs to be more careful about being sure the house is secure when he leaves.
We've arrived and I let my two dogs out from their close quarters in the backseat. They seem more agitated than usual but then again so am I as I notice yet another thing to tell my sprinkler guy. He evidently had his dog with him when he came to turn on the sprinkler for the summer. My white door was covered with muddy paw prints, honestly!!!!
As I drag in a couple of suitcases my heart catches in my chest, no wonder my dogs were acting strange, someone had broken into my home evidently. I survey the mess in my hallway entrance, pistachio nutshells strewn about the floor and two of my paintings are knocked off the wall and laying on the floor as well. Feeling very confused as to what sort of burglar leaves nutshells, I tiptoed into the three guest rooms downstairs. Everything was tidy and just the way I had left it, hmmmmm. I then head to the front of the hall that leads to the front door and there I see a very large pile of poop, and right away I know it was a bear! One mystery solved but the big question in my mind is where is that bear now? No exit doors from the house are open so that means there must bear a bear in this house still and now my heart is beating mighty hard. Celeste and Charlotte ,the two dogs , are uncharacteristically very quiet and sticking very close to me. I can see that they are just as puzzled and scared as I am, so I make a lot of noise and start talking at the top of my lungs but we hear no rustling upstairs. Then I do what every strong independent woman does in a moment of panic, I dial my husband who is thousands of miles away in his office. I explain to him what I've discovered and that I'm afraid that the bear is still in the house and in an exasperated tone he asks what I think he can do. Well, I answer that I'd like him to stay on the line and if I scream or the line goes dead to call 911 for me. Maybe that wasn't my best problem solving but it gave me the confidence to climb the stairs. Oh my, oh my, what a vision I was greeted by~ every single door in my kitchen, every cabinet, pantry door, oven door, refrigerator door was open. Even more impressive was the sight of ALL the contents of these vessels were strewn about the kitchen floor. It was an unimaginable mess and the thought of cleaning that plus the large "dump" in my entry way was just too much for me. After all, I'm telling you, I had just packed for the summer and driven across the Midwest and I was tired! So I called my handyman and asked him if he knew of an emergency service that would come rescue me from having to do some super human clean up at 8:00PM. An hour later a very welcome van pulled up my driveway and six people did a miracle clean up for me.
I felt much better after all had been cleared away and thank you bear for cleaning out my refrigerator for me. Lots of details that I noticed the following day, for example, chocolate Easter candies were carefully unwrapped and consumed, my lovely ceramic dishes of candies were still intact although now empty. One thing that ticked me off was that my six cartons of Ben and Jerrys ice cream were all eaten by my uninvited house guest, a treat that I was actually looking forward to digging into this particular summer. Oh well, all is well that ends well, right!

My life gets busy right away, I'm volunteering for the Aspen Food and Wine event and my sister arrives to stay with me that weekend. I'm to report to my volunteer job the following morning so we head to bed early for a good nights sleep. Around midnight my two standard poodles are making a huge racquet barking and barking at something I cannot see or hear. I assume that they can smell our bear outside so I open the balcony door and yell for the invisible (to me ),bear to get out and go away. It's very still and quiet out there so I crawl back into bed and happily sink into my pillow. But no, the dogs start barking again and these dogs really don't bark unless there is something wrong. So after several attempts to quiet them down I finally give up my idea of getting a good nights rest and agree to let them show me what's wrong. They immediately lead me to the stairs and then show me that I'm to follow them down the staircase. As I reach the bottom I finally understand why my dogs thought it best to keep me awake for my entry door from the garage looked as though a football player was trying to tackle it. Every few seconds it would shudder with the slam of a body on the other side and between slams I could see the flat door handle being jiggled.
OK, think, think, think...how could that possibly be a bear on the other side? I had my handyman barricade the service door into the garage and I don't care how smart that bear could possibly be, he couldn't guess the code, put it in the key pad and open that garage door. SO...maybe it's the neighborhood teens teasing me about about the bear getting into my home. But that would be kind of mean, even for our fun loving neighborhood of kids. The door is still vibrating with body slams and the handle clicking and I'm moving back closer to the front entry in case we need to make a quick escape. I'm in deep puzzled thought trying to put this all together in my head when the silence grabs my attention. I look up and there in my hallway is one very big, cinnamon colored bear and we are looking at each other eye to eye. The two dogs are obediently sitting at attention and if a dog could look dumbfounded , they both were. Imagine this moment, me surprised beyond belief, two black poodles in total submission and surprise, and one big bear who also seems as shocked as we are to see us in the way of that great white box upstairs that contains the most delicious CherryGarcia ice cream!
Okay, once again I know I didn't do the correct protocol of cooley walking away without making any eye contact. Instead I raise both my fists in the air and yell with all my lungs," Get out of my house, this is my house get out of here!!!" The dogs stay quite still, the bear looks puzzled and actually backs out of the door that part of his huge form had kept from clicking shut. He backed all the way back into the garage and the door clicked shut behind him.
My sister sleepily enters the hall having missed the bear entirely and asks why on earth I've been screaming in the hall in the middle of the night. I'm still in shock and all I can do is say,"a bear, a bear was in the house". Then the door begins its shuddering again as the bear decides that he'd really like some more ice cream after all. My level headed sister suggests calling the police for help, oh yeah, now there's a good idea.
Well, long story short I would've given anything for that police man to just sit in my living room and sip a cup of coffee while I slept peacefully in my bed. I actually begged but he said no, he had his beanbag gun and walked around the house a few times, the bear was gone. He had entered the garage through a new window that we had just put in and that has since been boarded up permanently. I didn't sleep much that entire summer for I knew that my uninvited houseguest might return for just one more carton of ice-cream at any time. I sympathize because I feel exactly the same about sweet treats but I have the good sense to know when I'm not welcome.

Sent from my iPad
Sent from my iPad

When asked the secret of her long and happy marriage, Ina Garten replied, "Jeffrey wants me to be happy, and I want him to be happy." Sounds simple enough, but it captures what married life can be in all its complexity.

I hope you and Jean-Marc find your way to what will make each of you, not only happy but content. Whether it be in France or in the USA, I wish you the very best.

So unselfish of you Kristin & yet to get the excitement & joy through Jean-Marc's must give you great hope for whatever life has in store . The USA is a magnificent country .So many different landscapes.l was enthralled by Alaska ,when my daughter lived there So wild & with majestic mountains .But each region has so much to see .A knowledge of wine such as Jean-Marc has must surely be a big plus I have said before you both have the fortitude to start again & most important you have each other !

Thanks so much for sharing. I wish you both well wherever you end up.

Hmmm. Change is challenging; what you make of it is the reward. I know. After almost 40 years with NYTimes I retired to Idaho, home of my wife. And, to my point: Idaho has a superb, if small, wine country (See: Idaho Wine Country," 2010, Caxton Publishers) and consider yourselves invited, at least to see their terroire and meet some wine makers. Neanmoins, I've enjoyed your stories and journey.

What a beautiful, thoughtful and inspiring message you wrote today! I have read your blog for years and have never commented - until today! Well done! And "bonne chance" with wherever you move!

Thalie

Your journey of growth and insight has touched me many times through the years. This post does it again. How can you be so relevant to my life? You have a gift of opening eyes and hearts.

Have to concur on this note, sad to say.

Beautiful blog today. What you two are going through is not an easy transition, but with mudita, you will both navigate it with grace. I just finished a book last night that I thought you might enjoy and that might be helpful. It's called "The Magician of Lhasa" by David Michie. It's about a man going through huge changes in his life and how he navigates them and grows through them. You guys are doing great. I know you'll find your way.

Kristi, go by ship ... add to the adventure and Smokey will be happy too!

Sometimes those familiar lines come back to comfort us in our hours of need. "All that remains of us is love". And Home is where the heart is". Much love to you both. Tout passe. Margaret

Looking at maps, the act of intrepid travelers, explorers of life. Here is a link to one of my favorites from the United States Geological Survey (USGS), the U.S. version of the French Institute Geographique Nationale (IGN). Go to their online store to download free topographic and other maps.

Tapestry of Time and Terrain (USGS) http://pubs.usgs.gov/imap/i2781/

Enjoy! Bill Miller, Santa Rosa, CA

Mudita. I love that! So many of us feel that for you and J-M as you embark on this new adventure in your life. I have had to take the leap several times in my life and, while some have gone better than others, I have also stumbled upon unexpected delights and discovered new depths within myself. I wish this for you both, too!
As for the bears . . .I live in bear country in the mountains of New Mexico. They are terribly afraid of people and we have never once had a "close call" in the 24 years we've been here.
Bonne chance et bon courage!

Look before you leap!

Oooh, Aspen and Snowmass are so lovely. The sound of the Aspen tree leaves gently rubbing together is heavenly music to be sure.

As usual Kristi, you are too hard on yourself. You are far from being a bear, recluse. You enjoy visiting with people and exploring places with those you love, i.e. your recent visit to your mom in PV. I've read your blog for several years now and see you become a strong woman with definite ideas of how you want to live your life. You've become a gardener which is a very fulfilling passion but by its nature also a singular pursuit. Nothing wrong with that. Also one becomes more discriminating as one gets older; also nothing wrong with that. I'm sure wherever you and Jean-Marc come to rest, both of you will continue on your paths of growth and exploration. Bonne chance, Sophie

Have you considered Asheville, North Carolina? We're in the mountains. It's not too hot in the summer, not too cold in the winter. It is "Fantastically Yoga-Friendly," "One of America's 12 Greatest Music Cities," "The Biggest Little Culinary Capital in America," "#1 Beer City USA," and "America's #1 Quirkiest Town."We are only a couple of hours by car from the beach. There are lots of Francophones and even vineyards. We do have some bears though - but we co-exist well. http://www.atlasobscura.com/articles/the-civilized-black-bears-of-asheville-north-carolina

Georgette! Yes to Asheville! We are in Highlands and so that would be so fun! Thanks for suggesting that to them!

That "C" was supposed to be a "K"!

Hi Kristi and Jean Marc
Life is such an opportunity for adventure. France will always be there. Funny how we all dream of living in different places. I have always wanted to live in France - (its the growing up in Montreal/French thing ) We try to go to France every few years and then my curiosity settles for awhile. I don't think I'd leave beautiful Vancouver - ocean and mountains and great cycling. Even the rain is awesome. France is fabulous but so are so many places in the world. I honor the two of you in this life changing and very exciting new time in your lives. There are great people and new friends awaiting whereever you end up. It'll be like opening up a new surprise everyday !! BTW - We have some great French patisseries in Vancouver now - even a "Laduree," and " Thierry" (awesome pain au chocolat) and "Faubourg." A little part of France is everywhere !! Bonne Chance et Amusez-vous bien !!!. A Bientot, Patricia

Dear Kristi,

Perhaps there is a lesson to be learned from history. Were it not for the French, there would be no America and vice versa. We share a unique connection that few nations, if any, can claim. French settlement of the Mississippi, French fur trappers mapping the west, French support of the American colonial rebellion, French art, French cuisine, French fashion, and even our precious Lady Liberty are every bit as integral a part of the American story as George Washington. If it were not for the desire of the French Everyman to turn the page to a new chapter in his life and resettle in America, much of the dream of the last three centuries would be just that...a dream unrealized.

America beckons you! Don't resist. Turn the page. My wife and I are new Denver residents, having uprooted from a youth in California with a decade each in Nashville and St. Louis. Far from feeling unsettled, we have already come to adore Denver. As a community, it is the most welcoming, progressive, healthy environment in which I have ever lived. Come and plant your garden! Jean-Marc, come and find new adventures, renew your spirit. You are welcome here!

Cheers,

Andy

Both of you are such blessings to others. I have been enjoying French Word-A-Day since its inception. I feel I have traveled with you through so many ups and downs of your lives, thanks to Kristin's honesty and transparency. In my opinion you are both brave, hard-working, faithful and dedicated to each other and your children. God will bless your next adventure too. Bloom where you are planted (or re-planted). Maybe it's time to love yourself as much as you love others. Thank you for exhibiting mudita in your writing and your lives.

I cannot help feeling very worried about your decision-making process, Kristi and Jean-Mark. In your post, you talk about how all the encouragement you are getting from others is influencing you, or particularly J-M. It is oh so easy to encourage others to to do risky and exciting things and then enjoy reading about it. I say, heed your own caution Kristi. What you are feeling in your gut is more valid than other peoples' comments. Your portrayal of J-M's enthusiasm for the US move reminds me that when you are in a hard place, somewhere far away and very different can look so much better. But also I am seeing that old European emigrant belief that everything is open for the taking in the US.

I don't think we have heard what Jean-Marc and you are expecting to do in the US to make a living. Talking that through and seeing the options realistically may help lead you a clearer idea of what location would be best. Why not take up some of the invitations that have been offered and stay in a few places to check them out.

Have you both discussed how adaptable J-M is to leaving his culture and friends. You know the difficulties of cultural transition Kristi. A man over 50 changing country and language must expect sadness and loneliness to rear their heads. Can he prepare for that?

I make no apology for not being a cheer leader. I just know that this is probably the most consequential decision you have to make that will affect the rest of your lives. I wish you strength and common sense as well as dream fulfillment - all are important.

Kristi, if you want to avoid putting Smokey in a cargo hold on a plane (which we certainly did with our darling chocolate Labrador when we moved from Arizona to France several years ago), you might consider sailing on the Queen Mary 2 instead of flying, as we did.

The QM2 is the only transatlantic line that offers a kennel program. The cost of the passage for humans is not all that much more than airfare, plus you get a week's worth of a 5-star vacation. The cost of the kennel is not terribly cheap, but it was so worth it for us for the peace of mind. Plus you have the option of visiting Smokey whenever you like, and even taking him for a little walk in the designated area.

We did have to get ourselves to the embarkation and disembarkation points, (Southampton, England and Brooklyn, NY) which involved a road trip on both ends, but that was actually part of the great fun and adventure of the trip. Though, it did add a lot to the logistics end of things. We found it enormously helpful to have this longer journey to emotionally process the big (internal and external) transition of the move. Not to mention, it all but eliminated the jet lag aspect.

Another bonus is that you can bring as much luggage/baggage as you want to on the ship, limited only by how many bags you can comfortably fit in your stateroom (which has oodles of room below the bed). So that saves you a bit on the huge cost of international shipping of household goods.

I'm available should you want any more info on how we pulled this all off. We'd do it again in a heartbeat! It was a life highlight in all ways!

One of the hardest lessons in life to learn is which bridge to cross and which bridge to burn.

As you and Jean-Marc look at the map, think about making a visit to Hood River, Oregon. We are 60 miles east of Portland, in the Columbia Gorge. We would love to welcome you to spend a few days with us to see the area. My husband, Frank Levin, could introduce you to some of the local winery owners. We met you both on your first visit to Portland at Cork. Perhaps as you get closer to making your decision, you could take a vacation to visit some of the areas that you find interesting.

Oh, Kristi! Your luminous moment of life-changing mudita - what a glorious epiphany! The universe is opening to you and Jean-Marc just as your own heart has opened here, like a lotus arising from the muddy earth of confusion. Everything eases as we come to 'trust the process' for real. Beautifully written, the new energy permeating every word.

Such a lovely thought of having joy in other's successes and dreams. We are all pulling for you as you go through this major transition. You will find the answers together.

Blessings,
Diane

Take courage and go for it! You have your whole lives ahead of you and still young enough to create your new dream. THIS VENTURE will give you so much to look forward too, I really wish you both every success , Now get on with it and enjoy yourselves. Love always elizabeth

Kristi: I just want to tell you how much I admire your willingness to live your life out loud and subject to comments and criticism as well as encouragement.
It is often in the the crucible of indecision that we find our real selves.

My reactions line up with those said well by Carolyn. You may have plans for the new profession that we have not heard, but that aspect seems important to me. You live now where there is a lot of sunshine and warmth, which you abandon as if you will not be waiting months each year for both in the places you consider now. Now the Alps are a short vacation for you, back home to sun and warmth. My Southern California friends find all the rest of the country too cold, too cloudy, too humid for more than a visit.

The main words that struck me were euphoria at the start and soon depression when the work is wearing, results not as spectacular as hoped. Any business in agriculture has real challenges over 5 years time. The economics change, the weather is the constant challenge. You are thinking this through, trying to please both of you and I am sure you will find a workable idea and a new philosophy for addressing life and the challenges in every locale, every profession. Bonnie chance.

Your capacity for love carries with it another trait, upeksha*, one not easily attained, but from your beautiful writing today, one that is blossoming from your affection and deep caring of J-M. You are finding a way to "look over" and see a way to move forward however that may be. Our best to you as you find your future with your dearly beloved.

This does not mean, I don't think, that you won't be torn in different ways, experiencing all sorts of emotions. Feelings are deep and mixed during big life changes like this, but you are showing a strength and depth of understanding that will help to see you through. Our love and very best to you all. We will be there!
*
"The fourth element of true love is upeksha, which means equanimity, nonattachment, nondiscrimination, even- mindedness, or letting go. Upa means “over,” and iksha means “to look.” You climb the mountain to be able to look over the whole situation, not bound by one side or the other."

https://www.google.com/amp/s/creativesystemsthinking.wordpress.com/2015/02/15/the-four-qualities-of-love-by-thich-nhat-hanh/amp/?client=safari

I am not sure where to begin, I have been reading your French Word A Day for a few years (I have all of your books)...so I too will be sad to see you leave your beautiful French Farm house. But no matter where you go it will always be a part of you. I always went to Jean-Marc's Wine Tastings when he would come to Minneapolis. (Before I moved to Atlanta). You seem to have come to a fork in the road - not sure what direction to go. No matter where you go there are always new dreams to dream and new adventures to be explored. You may not have to give up on the old dreams - they just take a different form. You two have deep love and respect for one another (hard to find that today), trust in that to help you. You have mentioned places to live if you move here to the states: Montana is BEAUTIFUL!!!, but so is Portland and Denver. Follow your heart..when you feel the decision is too great or over whelming...Pray.

In the end you both will make the right decision since you love each other. A good time in your lives too since you are not getting any younger.. We can create our own space wherever we are. I live in Arizona: mountains, desert , cowboy boots and wine country.

However very hot in summer. Northern California , Oregon, Colorado sound best for your needs.

God and your inner self will guide you and I wish you many blessings along the way. Mary-Audrey

There are many good thoughts shared by your readers about where to live in the United States. One of the thoughts is that you and Jean-Marc can make a decision about where to live in the United States, if your current place sells, and yet, it does not need to be seen as a permanent choice. You can change your minds and move again, even return to France. Whether Clinton, Trump or someone else becomes the next U.S. President, makes some difference, but not enough difference to the matters of our hearts, minds and souls, which truly affect our happiness and general well being. There are choices for the different seasons of our lives. Also, your choice to share your thoughts and feelings "out loud", as one of your readers described, helps me, too. My family is in the middle of a few decisions, as to where we will next move to, because we have lived in the same home for many, many years. It's a process, for sure. None of us are in complete control of the circumstances that help shape our lives or where we live. We have lots of help, though, and I also am a woman who knows prayers are answered, and oftentimes, not in the expected ways. We don't live in a perfect world, but thankfully, there are a lot of perfectly wonderful people all around. (Not perfect people, but perfectly wonderful people....big difference!) Sometimes I tell my children to put on their sunglasses, because their futures look bright. Yours looks mighty bright, too!

Exciting times ahead however it works out. Details are being worked out by the Devine Planner while you are waiting for the plan to be revealed. Have y'all considered Fredericksburg, TX? We have a rapidly growing wine industry and you could live in an old rock house similar to those you dream of. It's just a thought for your consideration and the area's wine growers could use some expertise to take it to the next level. sante'

I loved the part about seeing Jean-Marc in a cowboy hat and chaps! It reminds me of when my husband and I we're engaged. . We were both working in Wyoming and he took a ranching job in southern Oregon while I stayed in Wy to finish out my job and sell my house etc. I had visited him in Oregon and loved the area however as the wedding drew closer he took a "better" position on a ranch in northern CA I didn't have time to go see it before the wedding but I learned it was 40 miles from any town and had no electricity. Talk about cold feet! But I went anyway and moved to my then unseen home lock stock and barrel just three weeks before the wedding. It was a major lifestyle change for sure but I loved it. Heath issues with my husband forced us to move from there just one year later but it was one of the best experiences of my life. I am a Francophile like so many of your other readers and it too has always been my dream to own a country house in the south of France, a place much like yours. I'm so glad I had the chance to visit it amd meet you both last year, I will forever cherish that day. I have endless books including yours about life in France and about people buying and renovating little places in villages etc. I have all the requisite movies that I've watched dozens of times and know the dialogue by heart, (so now I just put them on in French to practice.). But the reality is that my husband doesn't share that dream and I wouldn't want to miss out on my grand children's' lives. In a eutopic world I would have two places and share time in both. But in the meantime, I will have to settle for as many visits to France as I can and do my best to "live French" here at my California farmhouse complete with periwinkle blue shutters, a fountain, lavender and sunflowers in my garden. I've created my own decor I call "French Cowboy" that is a reflection of both of us. 34 years together and counting. I say all this to remind you that you can take your French culture with you and plant it along with your new potager where ever the Lord leads you. Simply trust him to open the doors that would be His will. My daughter lives in Salem OR just south of Portland so if you wind up in that area, we could visit, and I would love that. I agree with others' comments that you should take a sabbatical and just travel around the country and visit all your readers and see where you fit the best. Prayers and bises to you both.

HI Kristy and Jean-Marc,
I have only commented once before, although I've read your blog for the past 12 years since meeting my french, winemaking husband from Gascony. Your current decision speaks to us on a very personal note as every day my sweet husband misses his homeland, family, cuisine, and particularly palombe hunting with Pépé, his grandpere (94 and still living on his own terms!)
We live in Napa Valley...that other wine-growing/making region. I was born and raised in Texas...far away from anything wine or french related...However, here I am, a vintner! We make californian wines from varietals of my husband's home region including Colombard and Tannat. He has been able to do this project his way, beginning from nothing...no giant bank-rolls here!...producing and selling his beautiful wines. Alors, he is getting tired. And grumpy. And he is only 41!!! We completely understand your predicament as he loves making wines, but the wine business is brutally time consuming, as you know. Not to mention growing the grapes!!! We have recently been considering the logical next step of buying land to grow our own grapes with winery and home. Big sigh...
I know that means exactly what you were thinking and saying out loud, Jean-Marc...another 15-20 years of backbreaking, stress-producing investment of work! My husband began this project after we met and fell in love, to do something here in the US that he wanted to do well. Now, our son is in college and he is smelling freedom...while I am tasting it. All that to say...
I hope you find your right spot...nothing is permanent, everything changes. I believe it's simply all about how we enjoy the ride, and how awake we remain for it.
If you find yourself wanting to visit Napa Valley, please reach out. We would love to share our little piece of it with you. I would never suggest living here, way too expenisve, but the wine is good, the country is extraordinary, and many folks think like you. In fact, my french group has read your postings for all these years. It would be our pleasure you host you should you ever want to visit. I would imagine you already have friends nearby...
Too bad, we would consider your place, but will certianly buy in Yann's birth-land soon to be closer to our family there...although I LOVE bandol, cassis...lovely country.
Bon chance, we are rooting for you!!!

This move will be a wonderful exciting new adventure for you. Of course it may seem scary just thinking about it since it will be such a major change, but remember it need not be permanent. If you try it on and find it is not all you had hoped for, you can always return to France, this time finding something smaller, more suitable for this stage of your lives. But this time with a clearer understanding of what you want rather than regret for things you did not try. I predict the change will be just exactly what you need. I am excited for you both, and happy that you can face this change together, supporting each other in this stage of your marriage and your lives. Deep breath. You can do it.