The Metaphysics of French & how it connects us all
Friday, October 06, 2017
One of my favorite French expressions? It's mettre toutes les chances de son côte. (photo: "We are what we are taught," taken when Smokey was a babe).
Mettre toutes les chances de son côte
: to put all chances on one's side, to stack all the odds in your favor
Audio File: Listen to Jean-Marc read the sentence below
Une de mes expressions favoristes en français c'est : "Mettre toutes les chances de son côté"
A DAY IN A FRENCH LIFE...
Ask my dog and he'll tell you - I'm still shaking my fist at that divisive cartoon I saw on Facebook. Which only goes to show how much progress I have to make in the field of peace (don't we all have strides to make in this area?).
This all got me thinking about reality (the subject of that cartoon. One of my first, kept-to-self thoughts toward the one who posted it was: how do YOU know what is real?)....
I barely graduated from high school and when I did get into the university I was on academic probation. A poor student, I was careful to put all chance on my side, choosing subjects I was most familiar with. That's when I noticed Philosophy 101! That ought to be a breeze, I thought, for somebody like me who thinks too much. I ended that semester with a D in philosophy (thinking was my strongpoint, not remembering).
I took away two things from that class. One: Michel de Montaigne (I loved "meeting" this 16th century Frenchman and am disappointed the hero in a book I'm reading doesn't feel the same way). And, two, a reality check. This was the first time anyone ever got me to look at reality or, rather, to question it. I remember sitting far back in an auditorium, hearing my teacher quote Kant (was it Kant? I can't remember...). The professor held out his arm, waving it around. "Can we be sure any of this is real? Are you really here now? Or is this all a dream?"
I have been haunted to this day by that thought. And I am reminded, again and again, to look beyond what my eyes can see. But, before even my professor or Kant (???), I have my Mom to thank for that enlightenment. She first read me this definition of faith:
Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.
Whether we have faith in a higher power or faith in the bridge we are driving over (whose nuts and bolts we cannot see) we are hoping for the same thing: a solid connection!
And that is the point of this essay (we're getting to it). One thing I have learned is not to be too curious about all that is out there. Not all knowledge edifies. And now for the good news: French is a good thing to be curious about! Unlike the news, You can fill your mind with French words and phrases and not come away sick or depressed or angry. Au contraire, the more French you learn the more you can connect with others.
Thank you, Dear Reader, for opening your word-a-day email and staying to read this personal column--even when you don't agree with me or hold the same beliefs. Each of us is unique. The readers here, I see from the comments, respect that. And we all have at least one thing in common, the love of language.
And we also share the love of France!
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I really enjoyed this article, all too often we live without an understanding of 'reality'!
Posted by: Graham | Friday, October 06, 2017 at 01:03 PM
Thank you Kristi for todays post - it lifted my spirits. The photo of your sunflower on a beautiful, sunny afternoon in France was apropos!
Posted by: Sheryl | Friday, October 06, 2017 at 01:13 PM
Une idée pratique et excellente! Les liens comptent, même si on n'est pas d'accord avec tous ou avec tout ce que l'on dit. On partage -
Merci de tout ton travail.
Elaine
Posted by: Elaine Squeri | Friday, October 06, 2017 at 01:22 PM
Merci, ma toute belle. and, Amen.
Posted by: Donna Carpentier | Friday, October 06, 2017 at 01:43 PM
Thank you for sharing your thoughts, your revelations (so honest and pure), the quote, the statement that not all knowledge edifices, the common bond we share: the love of speaking French and France....a beautiful article, beautifully written. You never know who you will touch or in what way you will affect their thoughts and feelings. I really enjoyed beginning my day reading your thoughts, Kristi. Merci.
Posted by: Nancy | Friday, October 06, 2017 at 01:59 PM
Oui, j'aime la France! Thank you for sharing your life in France; I'm "stranded" in the US and relish all things French until we can return to the Riviera.
Posted by: Ella Dyer | Friday, October 06, 2017 at 02:00 PM
C'est vraie Kristi. Chance, faith,hope all necessary ...particularly in these turbulent and divisive times. Merci.
Posted by: Sandy | Friday, October 06, 2017 at 02:10 PM
Before the advent of instant communication, life demanded we think before setting pen to paper - once written, it would linger for posterity. How many times a day do we all make judgments without really thinking about them? While The human need to feel connected runs deep within us, this instant access has perhaps caused a lapse in judgment. Perhaps we need to breathe more (and consider) before we speak? Think of life as a table where we need to change chairs to see another's view? As for les tournesols, a dear friend. visited yesterday with a gift of "les tourns". They are jouful! Agh. Too wordy. Keep all faith.
Posted by: Merrie Dail | Friday, October 06, 2017 at 02:20 PM
I so appreciate all that you write about and love as well your photos of the beauty around you. I try to live the French lifestyle here in New England but it is difficult. ;-).
Posted by: jean Palmer | Friday, October 06, 2017 at 02:25 PM
Your last paragraph says it all. In South Africa, where I have lived for 45 years,it has all too often been that rejection of the differences inherent in our very diverse community is completely acceptable. But thankfully the norm is turning to learning acceptance that diversity is real and valuable. I read your essays with care, Kristi, and go away rejoicing in what you always make me think about. Vive la différence - à l'éternité.
Posted by: Mike | Friday, October 06, 2017 at 02:30 PM
Thank you for this.
💗Lynne
w/L
Posted by: Lynne | Friday, October 06, 2017 at 02:35 PM
Bravo, Kristi-thank you.
Posted by: Alyssa Eppich | Friday, October 06, 2017 at 02:42 PM
Two 17th century French thinkers.
René Descartes: Je pense donc je suis.
Case closed. I have proved my existence and by extension that of the outside world.
Blaise Pascal.
We can't know if God exists [and by extension the universe] do make a bet that God exists. If you are wrong not much is lost. If you are right you have saved your soul. So you, in essence,
Mettre toutes les chances de son côté
Posted by: Marie LaSalle | Friday, October 06, 2017 at 02:53 PM
I love your posts - sometimes funny, sometimes thoughtful - not that those are mutually exclusive! And I always learn something.
Posted by: Anne Kennedy | Friday, October 06, 2017 at 03:06 PM
Always thoughtful and useful considerations. Because you enjoyed Montaigne in college, I think you will love Sarah Batewell's book "How to Live or A Life of Montaigne In One Question and Twenty Attempts at an Answer". It is wonderful, accessible, and (I found) enlightening. Bon courage et bonne chance.
Posted by: Sharon | Friday, October 06, 2017 at 03:13 PM
Wherever you go, there you are.
One’s reality, however one defines “reality” does not change. And that, my dear, is another obfuscation 😊
Posted by: Sophia Borg | Friday, October 06, 2017 at 03:13 PM
Wonderful post - as always. Good to see a picture of mama Brease (never could spell) and her pups again. What a joy she was in your lives and I only New her via your blog. Your writing did that. Have been painting sunflowers lately. Thanks for the picture it is inspiring. Hugs
Posted by: Nancy | Friday, October 06, 2017 at 03:19 PM
All great religions and philosophies have a kernal of truth, but none have the whole truth, it is said. One of the best "definitions" of God I have ever come across is, "God is a metaphor for the Mytery which transcends every category of thought and non-thought, as well as every category of being an,d nonbeing. That is what works for me and I embrace such a Mystery. That. Is what makes my heart sing and gives me strength to go on. The great gurus, teachers, masters etc. , such as Jesus, Buddha, etc, went their own way, listening to the God within rather than following every voice on the outside. I love different perspectives because that tells me how vast God is? (Why be disturbed about what others believe or don't believe. Others can't rattle our cage if we know what we believe.)
The lovely photos and what they represent are part of that great Mystery!
Posted by: Faye LaFleur | Friday, October 06, 2017 at 03:29 PM
I wish my words could be as sweet or profound as the earlier replies, so this is just a Thank You for all your columns, but especially this one.
Posted by: colette malik | Friday, October 06, 2017 at 03:41 PM
Beautifully said, and I love the way you incorporated the study of French into this. Just perfect!
Posted by: Francophony | Friday, October 06, 2017 at 03:51 PM
Thank you, Colette! From your comment on up, and to any which may come after, I am very grateful!
Posted by: Kristin Espinasse | Friday, October 06, 2017 at 04:00 PM
Amen!
Posted by: Dave Kapsiak | Friday, October 06, 2017 at 04:05 PM
I'm back! I have been gone a while; I needed to read this post. I
love French!
Posted by: Marina | Friday, October 06, 2017 at 04:15 PM
Love this post! Well I love every one of your thoughtful, and personal expressions. They are gifts to me. I also enjoy the comments from those other readers who are sensitive to thought of kindness, faith, and unity of mankind. I feel I have many like minded friends wrapped around you and me and I don’t feel so isolated. Thank you for these thoughts. Must read Montaigne.
Posted by: Mary and Rod Neely | Friday, October 06, 2017 at 04:15 PM
You are such a beautiful light in this world, Kristi! Your warmth, humor, and thoughtfulness are refreshing - and contagious! This was a particularly profound post, though I must admit learning new French vocabulary and phrases - my initial reason for visiting - has become somewhat of a bonus rather than my primary motivation. :) I have never commented before, but I so enjoy living vicariously through you and your lovely family. Thank you for sharing with us!
Posted by: Jennifer | Friday, October 06, 2017 at 04:32 PM
A cattleman here in northeast Arizona told me “If it’s got a cow in it’s a good picture.”
I think that saying works with sunflowers too. 😀
Yoi sure post great photos with your beautiful wise words.
Posted by: Gordon Lyman | Friday, October 06, 2017 at 04:39 PM
Dear Kristi:
French has been a big part of my life having taught this beautiful language for over 30 years. It has been the vehicle for connecting me with so many people, children and adults alike.
Thank you for your beautiful outlook on life and for brightening my days.
Amicalement, Janine
Posted by: Janine Cortell | Friday, October 06, 2017 at 04:40 PM
Thank you Kristin!! I love your "thinking" and your wise words are a gift!
Posted by: Marcia Stoub | Friday, October 06, 2017 at 04:49 PM
Love this commentary Kristi; as a person of faith, I have always relied on what your mother shared with you, but in these words: "Faith is being sure of what we hope for, and certain of what we do not see". It has been very comforting and reassuring to me.
Posted by: Sarah | Friday, October 06, 2017 at 04:52 PM
Thank you, Kristi, for this exceptional expression of what we all seek. Your mother is a very wise and beautiful person who brings joy, love and understanding wherever she might be ... and you are just like your mother. Again, my appreciation.
Posted by: Cynthia Lewis | Friday, October 06, 2017 at 05:10 PM
You continue to surprise, delight, and—yes—edify!
Posted by: Angela | Friday, October 06, 2017 at 05:21 PM
So true, dat!
And my weekly French class is the highlight of the week, even though more words seems to disappear from my tete than remain for me to retrieve. You, Kristi, are a true philosophe!
Posted by: Sue Lennox | Friday, October 06, 2017 at 05:24 PM
Thank you Kristi, for this very valuable reminder. We are all connected, and must take on faith that we will continue to exist, together.
Posted by: Seana Gause | Friday, October 06, 2017 at 06:12 PM
Love, love, love! Alas, some live only in the world of reality while others see only fantasy. I think once you said something very profound (especially for a student who got a D in Philosophy 101) ;-} "Un petit peu de cela et un petit peu de ca." A little of this and a little of that".
Posted by: joie in Carmel | Friday, October 06, 2017 at 07:07 PM
Thank you for your wise words Kristi......It’s so important to be able to communicate with your ‘neighbours’,. Whether you’ve run out sugar, or need help with a plumbing problem, you need to try to speak the language.......and classes are a good way to make friends!
Posted by: Karen Rowlands | Friday, October 06, 2017 at 08:01 PM
Always, always love pictures of Smokey and his mom. Is that him on the far left?
Posted by: Sheila | Friday, October 06, 2017 at 08:05 PM
Thank you for today's words. I also think a lot (too much?) and yes we all do believe and hope! I love to learn more French to easier connect with people. Your hebdomadaire words encourage me every time! Wish you a bon week-end!
Boel
Posted by: Boel | Friday, October 06, 2017 at 08:59 PM
Responding to your comment about using French just this morning, in my Writing Class for Seniors, the Instructor spoke about when to use "had been" instead of "was" in response to one of my fellow student's essay. Kris is amazing, speaks several languages, taught for a long time, is a free-lance editor, was a high school student of the famous English writing teacher Rose Gilbert, and stimulates us all. Because she speaks French she was able to describe when to use which tense. It is not so clear in English but is clear in French. Language is a wonderful thing. One is never too old to appreciate words, philosophy, stories, descriptions and language in general. Thank you for sharing your words, descriptions and especially your stories.
Posted by: Anne Umphrey | Friday, October 06, 2017 at 09:14 PM
Oh Kristi, how I relate to this post! What a huge subject.
I had a similar experience (and grade in Philosophy 101). Until thien, I thought I knew everything as a little A student from my cosy girls' school. But I couldn't follow one thought in that class I thought would be a breeze. And now, I am actually glad. I am provoked by this memory to try to understand and articulate what might have been going on for me at the time now that I have the perspective of many more years. I didn't know it then, but I think that I was being confronted with a huge challenge to my own inner knowing and my own energetic awareness in the face of all these historical words and thoughts. If I had known the context, or if it had been taught with some curiousity, or some encouragement to discover and articulate our own wisdom, wouldn't that have been great? I would not have had to shut down, which is what I think I did.
I think I unconsciously protected myself from the weight of the impossibility of the logical mind trying to figure out this beautiful, magical , blessed LIFE! The wordless unfolding life I knew and lived and was as a child in nature. I think the questions were fabulous for their curiosity, but I believe we got into trouble as soon as we tried to nail down "the right answer". Get that "A" on the paper. Wrap it up into the bow that says, "I know. I am right about this., etc."
My belief (er philosophy... for now at least) is that we have created a fanstastic dualistic world to play in and explore. However, some of us have reached the limits of our fascination with polarities and separation and power over, survival of the fittest, and so on. We are done. And getting more than frustrated and bored trying to find peace and happiness and creativity in this box of limitation that somehow, we know does not offer lasting satisfaction.
For a while, some of us have tried to awaken others because we felt the pain of the hopelessness of swinging from one position to the next. We have believed, like good bodhisatvas, that we cannot be happy and free until we have helped everyone else to be free. So we have lowered our energy to resonate with them, in hopes we can uplift their spirits. However, this ancient, shamanic way of healing is not what is called for here. The path now is of our choosing our own joy, peace and happiness. To look for what makes us feel light. That lightness is the key to our path. That is what is healing the earth. If we awaken tot he fact that the most powerful choice we can make is the choice to feel better... as you say, "to study French" literally or metaphorically, we create the world as we want it to be and are no longer the victims of someone else's reality on FaceBook (or Twitter.)
I am learning to say, "Hmm, interesting point of view." and frees me to accept that person's opinion, but not be frightened by how far away it seems to me because I can also say to myself, "I have that point of view... maybe not about that same subjuect, but I do know I have it." That let's me relax into inclusivity. And I feel at peace. I no longer have to be forced to choose yet again between one position and another.
I believe that the consciousness of the planet is shifting swiftly and mightily. These in between moments can feel very rocky and confusing. Some of us feel sick or depressed and lethargic and we make ourselves wrong about how we are feeling. But what if we didn't? What if we were able to acknowledge that we really have never been happy in limiting our brilliant, sensitive selves to this tough linear world? What if we began to acknowledge who we really are, what kind of a world we want to create, and to acknowledge how we each are doing that day by day? I believe all there is is Love and that is the ultimate reality. We are That and can tune into it at any time.
That is why we love you and your writing. Because it is Love you are and you are expressing. And our love for whatever France, French people and their beautiful language, those qualities, are what bring us together.
So wow! I'll bet you had no idea what a portal you opened this morning. And either did I. Thank you for opening up this space for me to be my own philosopher. Whew. "A" or "F", it's all a point of view anyway. :D
Posted by: Ahulani McAdam | Friday, October 06, 2017 at 10:41 PM
Our dear Kristi,
I read a quote by Walt Whitman and just had to share it because this is YOU!
"Some people are so much sunshine to the square inch".
Oh,yes! YOU!
Today is another one of your truly incredible posts.
Your words give us a sense of peace,inspiration,and always,refill our joie de vivre.
I completely agree with your love of Montaigne(and also for Sharon's suggestion of Blatewell's book--it is an excellent read).
I think (Ludwig) Wittgenstein would also be a good fit,too,for his ideas about language and understanding each other.
Love
Natalia XO
Posted by: Natalia | Friday, October 06, 2017 at 10:49 PM
I think that we have all had those come-uppance moments. Mine similarly was at Uni. You gather around you such a loving community. This is special. No need for a diploma to confirm that.
Posted by: Catherine Berry (But you are in France, Madame) | Friday, October 06, 2017 at 11:35 PM
Dear Kristi,
A brush with death can help look at the glory of life with a new perspective, dismissing the negative and bringing on the "joie de vivre". Facing the sunrise with new hope...
Posted by: Chris Allin | Saturday, October 07, 2017 at 03:38 AM
Thank you for sharing part of your soul and enlightening your readers with your insight. You truly have a "joie de vivre" and the ability to touch human frailties.
Posted by: Robert Hyman | Saturday, October 07, 2017 at 04:49 AM
Hi Kristi - Your mother is a wise woman. Another translation of Hebrews 1: 11 is "Faith is the confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see." We all hope for peace, love and understanding between our fellow human beings. Faith is the confidence that such a goal is possible, in my opinion, by being assured that a loving God, whom we cannot see, is in charge. I do not understand why bad things happen to good people, but I do believe that He works all things together for ultimate good, that He loves us, and feels our sorrow. This slice of life we live is not all there is, but in it we are to love each other and be grateful for what blessings we have. God is good, and may He continue to bless you. Thank you for your valuable connection to so many people around the world. - Janet
Posted by: Janet | Saturday, October 07, 2017 at 06:00 AM
Chère Natalia, thank you for introducing me to Wittgenstein! I loved learning about him and his studies on language and communication, and the very practical side of how this helps us lead happier lives! Here is a video I just watched (serendipitously narrated by a fan of Montaigne :-) that others might enjoy:
https://youtu.be/pQ33gAyhg2c
P.S That Whitman quote reminds me of you! 💛
Thanks to all who have taken the time to comment. What a joy to read your words!
Posted by: Kristin Espinasse | Saturday, October 07, 2017 at 07:58 AM
Kristin, your words are a balm to the spirit in these troubled times. They take us to a happier place, and we all need that, especially now. Never doubt the good that you do!
Sandy
Posted by: Sandy | Saturday, October 07, 2017 at 03:41 PM
Thank you, Kristi. Today's post and responses were a great example of the thoughtful, supportive community you have created. We have learned much from one another and from and because of you. ❤️
Posted by: Kathy C | Saturday, October 07, 2017 at 04:03 PM
"Faith, Hope, Love, but the greatest of these is love..."I like reading about you and your family and experiences and your journey toward hope and understanding. It takes a lot of faith to keep on going but I've been reading your column since Brieze was a new maman and respect the fact that you never quit.
Writing is a lot of work, especially concocting a theme, but you've grown so much and I feel blessed to have been along for the journey. Merci, Cherie.
Posted by: Diane Young | Saturday, October 07, 2017 at 06:37 PM
Hi Kristi, your Mum was both wise and right! We must trust in a world we cannot yet see.
We just arrived in Bandol to stay with my nephews family for a few days. He works
in a dockyard company in Laciotat. We will wander the streets there keeping an eye open for your straw hat. It would be great to meet you. Keep up the good work and God bless you. Chris n mary Papworth.
Posted by: Chris papworth | Saturday, October 07, 2017 at 07:50 PM
Amen!
Posted by: Kristine, Dallas | Saturday, October 07, 2017 at 11:14 PM
Spot on Faye LaFleau!
Polyocular vision reveals so much more that is hidden, in contrast to monocular, or binocular vision.
Polyocular vision = the ability to look at something from many different perspectives, all of which will contribute to a broader and deeper understanding of a situation :-)
Posted by: Andrew Rooney | Friday, October 13, 2017 at 02:51 AM
Along those lines, I remember a story I heard as a child in India... What is truth/reality? It is like an elephant in a thick fog. One person runs into it and feels the elephant's tail, another his trunk, another his leg. Each has a completely different description of what the elephant is, because each sees only a small part of the whole.
Anyway, I love your posts and photos, especially this one..
Posted by: Jean Briggs | Wednesday, October 18, 2017 at 01:23 PM