FRENCH WORD-A-DAY

Dear Kristi,

The first picture I saw when I found FWAD was you, sitting in a car, forehead exposed with an explanation of your surgery. I was overwhelmed by your story and the candor with which you told it. At that moment I was hooked and have loved the journey forward as you continue to be so very honest, with sensitivity and humor!

Sometimes a little American hypervigilance is useful! When our daughter was a student in Granada during her junior year, she followed the Spanish custom of going to the dentist once a year and returned with eight cavities! Franklin's, "Ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure" is wise even if it's a drag...

I worked in beloved garden for years and didn't have the information or sense to wear sun screen until I found I had melanoma twelve years ago. It required an operation nd even then came back after the operation and a nasty dose of Interferon. Another operation and then another dose of interferon. I survivedd just barely, the interferon. I became allergic to it so i cannot have it again. I see my derm. doc. twice a year and under the same uncomfortable circumstances of your examination. But it's worth it, knowing that skin cancer is being checked. Once the doc. told me she had seen more cancer in the last year than a; the years past combined. So be careful and prudent to check regularly. Love your photos!

Hi, Kristi!
Thank you so much for generously sharing your time with Annie and me at Le Rose Thé yesterday. We have been saying over and over how much we enjoyed visiting with you, and how you seemed so genuinely interested in hearing all our stories.
We certainly will touch base again when we're both back in France together.

All the best. A la prochaine!

Carol

All I can say is - thank you Kristi for being so touchingly honest and frank. I think it helps cowards like me and I sense it helps others too. But you deserve and need a more sympathetic doctor. However, I know you won't stop going for checkups. And taking your "other half". Someone as kind as you should receive only kindness - but sadly that is not always the way of the world. "Karma" my daughter always murmurs - and I have been known to put the odd name in the freezer .... Try explaining that to a curious 4 year old grandson. Very best wishes to you and to any others in this group who have suffered or are worried.

Before I realized that your French MD was a bit insensitive -- or at least expressed different cultural values (about nudity, etc.) --I was going to say: the mental images more than made up for a photo!

The most amusing thing about interacting with the French in a public or professional situation, is their arrogance. This can feel "rude" until you remember that they have absolutely nothing to be arrogant about. We often smiled to ourselves when this would happen. (However, on a friendship/private basis, the French are amazingly warm and generous). The Parisian dry cleaner (coincidence?) who acted offended when we first moved to Paris because I didn't know enough French to easily communicate, eventually had us over to his apartment for drinks with him and his wife on Christmas Eve after 10 months of active engagement. I had learned more French, he had warmed up, and perhaps, we each felt we had won over the other.

How is Jean Marc's spot on his back doing? I, as a retired RN, do not think the rudeness was called for. You weren't trying to tell her how to do her job, after all. You simply wanted to show her what you were concerned with. I agree with all the rest of your commenters on one thing: you are too nice and too sensitive a soul to be treated that way. Please keep us posted how you both are doing.

Our dear Kristi,
All of your posts are wonderful,and always help us find some needed inspiration in our own lives....today's is no exception with timely advice to not be hesitant about visiting the derm and the dentist!
Hardly the places one longs to go,but when you realize these visits can in the long term improve your quality of life,it is more than worth the effort.
Thank you for this!
Love
Natalia XO

Amen Marsha!!

Hi Kristi,

You reminded me that I need to go for my yearly dermato checkup. I have been lucky so far but I remember laying out in the sun as a teenager with baby oil. Crazy! I wear sunscreen now and hats and I was just talking to my daughter Tara the other day about putting sunscreen on every day. She is a big rock climber and loves to be outdoors. I have encountered doctors with terrible bedside manners too and they can be a great doctor just not great at interacting with patients.

I went with a friend once to consult a surgeon. After my meeting the friend said, « He was a little bit Master of the Universe, but that’s what you want in a surgeon. » I have found specialists particularly are often socially clueless but all about their profession. In the U.S. I feel disappointed at being told I can leave on my underwear ar the dermato’s:what if I have a cancer underneath? I have had biopsies done on moles in sunfree zones.
I guess I see your glass as half full!

I was admiring your dermato's approach. I get about a 3 minute exam, full underpants on and a paper vest. He's never interested in the things that worry me on my skin. I need to see him now, suspicious spots, but will probably have to wait three or four months for an appointment. But then, I have absolutely no modesty around a doctor. It's his job to look at my body, and the better look he gets, the happier I'll be. Maybe I should see your dermato on my next trip to France!

I've had a couple of emergency visits with the French medical system. I had some unhappy injuries but they were certainly helpful despite having no English whatsoever.

It would be the last time I ever saw that doctor. She sounds arrogant and out-of-touch.
As for Efudex, I had a horrible experience with it. It is very abrasive and I can't imagine using it for two months! Google "Efudex side effects" and Efudex images; it is a brutal treatment. Here is an example of a woman who used it for only sixteen days: https://skincancer.net/life-with-skin-cancer/my-journey-with-efudex-in-photos/
I hope you can find another dermatologist, Kristi.

Translation please: wtf is 'rocked a jaw level blunt cut'? Probably American slang but incomprehensible to Brits.

What is it about French dermatologists ? I had to wait 4-5 months for an appt ?then I hit an extremely rude & abrupt one She even snatched my cheque book from my hand whilst i was searcrhing for a pen ,& filled it in herself !!! My french Is O.K for that,certainly !

I have to wait that long in the US. And then you get his attention for a big five minutes.

I agree with Marsha. Rude is rude. I too had a doctor yell at me for taking one of my medications when my blood pressure went high (she had temporarily taken me off the medicine while trying to find the cause of another problem). I was concerned about having a stroke and her nurse had simply said, “come in tomorrow” but nothing about not taking the medicine. I am looking for a new doctor.

For the last 8 years, I have had a combination of skin conditions/diseases that have required me to see my dermatologist for a full-body examination and treatment of ongoing or new symptoms every 3-6 weeks. Before each examination and treatment begins, I am left alone in the exam room to remove all my clothes and don a loose, below-the-knee cotton gown which, like a hospital gown, is open, but can be tied closed, in the back. My dermatologist knows exactly how to manipulate that gown while she smoothly moves me from sitting, standing and supine positions, so that she can carefully examine every inch of my skin (including my scalp) without ever making me feel "exposed" or in any way self-conscious. The treatments she administers currently may include multiple injections into my scalp and/or liquid nitrogen ("freezing")therapy (including applied with a Q-tip to the delicate skin under my lower eyelashes). I am a fair-skinned redhead with a history of basal cell carcinomas, and my dermatologist has also biopsied a suspicious lesion 1 or 2 times each year. I have never felt any pain during the examinations, biopsies and treatments she has done...she is very gentle, quick, and adept, and she distracts me with interesting conversation so effectively that I often have to ask whether, she has done the injections or a biopsy yet. I am writing all this, Kristi, to give you an idea of the kind of care a patient can get from a dermatologist. I had to search a bit to find my dermatologist, but that search was well worth it. Under her care, my skin conditions/diseases (which are not curable) have abated. When one starts to activate again, I usually can quickly stop the progression of that activation with the topical medications my dermatologist prescribes for me. If not, she knows how to stop the progression of the activation during our next pre-scheduled visit, before it becomes a major problem. And, crucially, my health insurance pays most of what my dermatologist charges for her services, because all of what she does is medically necessary to treat my dermatologic diagnoses and because her charges are reasonable.