My French Garden and retirement?
Thursday, March 21, 2019
Today's words: prendre sa retraite
: to retire
*. *. *
"You work too hard," my mom says. "You should retire."
Who? Me? Work too much? How could writing one or two posts a week make one a workaholic? Un bourreau de travail ?
*. *. *
Today marks three weeks away from my desk and it is beginning to show me something about the creative process:
Writing is 20 or 30 or 40 percent of the effort...
The other 60 or 70 or 80 percent is the "steam engine" behind the story: it is the words and sentences that file through your brain throughout the day and sometimes at night, no matter where you are--at home or away on vacation. What was the F. Scott Fitzgerald book in which two characters, a husband and wife, are at a dinner party and the wife looks over at the husband whose lips are moving as he stares at the ceiling?
"Darling! What are you doing?" She says.
I'm working! He snips.
The writing engine never stops completely (oh, the stories I've begun in my head since landing in the U.S. None have made it to the physical composition stage, and yet all of them have kept me occupied, or preoccupied).
I am not complaining about any of this, but want to highlight a little pépin, or glitch, about creation: It can slowly wear you down.
I realize Mom is right, and now it is a matter of tweaking (I need to tweak the way I live my writing life).
My friend Kirsten took me to The Tattered Cover Book Store in Littleton, where I spied a humble garden journal. I've spent this morning (now back at my sister, Heidi's) sipping coffee and sketching my yard back in France: the fruit trees, herbs, the pond...even the bees. My niece, Reagan, shared her coloring pencils and the activity became even more enjoyable and revealing...
I had thought my garden had gone to pot, but I now see many of the plants are surviving the neglect. It gives me hope and a goal for when I return to France next week. It is a simple plan, and here it is:
Water. Tend. Visit.
Water the plants and also the dreams you've forgotten. Lovingly tend the garden and the precious hours in your day. Visit the seedlings and other blooming things (new friendships, new interests).
I'm off now to spend time with my sister. We're going lunch together. Perhaps here in the beautiful botanical garden in Denver. It's a good place to dream and to rest before returning to my desk in La Ciotat. I have no plans to retire and, God-willing, will write until I'm ninety-five. More time to practice, to learn, and to share with you.
Amicalement,
Kristi
P.S. Here is a link to the garden journal I bought. It has inspiring quotes and prompts (see below) on the pages.
I also picked up a book called The Writers Practice: Building Confidence in your Nonfiction Writing, as reading about writing can be helpful...when you are away from the work.
P.S.S. Still working on my garden diagram. Click on the image below to enlarge it.
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Stay a little longer, so we can meet again!!
Hugs,
Marika
Posted by: Marika Ujvari | Thursday, March 21, 2019 at 03:58 PM
Thank you, Marika 💞💞
Posted by: Kristin Espinasse | Thursday, March 21, 2019 at 04:18 PM
Yes..keep going so the rest of us can!
Posted by: Patricia | Thursday, March 21, 2019 at 04:20 PM
Stepping away or taking a break is a wonderful thing to do in any profession. It gives us a new perspective and rejuvenates us. Glad you aren't "retiring," as I love the stories too much.
xoxo
Posted by: Karen Cafarella | Thursday, March 21, 2019 at 04:20 PM
This “retirement” thing seems so European! Why quit work to sit at home dreaming of work?! The lovely part of retirement is that one does not really have to quit work. One can take breaks and return to it whenever. Bon courage!
Posted by: Muriel | Thursday, March 21, 2019 at 04:32 PM
Kristi - I'm 79 and I still write a "green" column for our local newspaper. I hope never to stop, because doing the necessary research for each topic (made infinitely easier by the Internet) keeps my brain active. I live in a very small community and if I stopped there would be protest.
I think this is relevant to you, because each of your posts that I read has a whiff of some kind of research, even if it is just conversation with members of your family.
Please don't ever stop. If you do, I'll come back and haunt you!
Posted by: Mike | Thursday, March 21, 2019 at 04:37 PM
Bonjour Kristi,
I am retired, but not in a rocking chair! It seems I am busier than ever. Travel, especially travel to visit family and friends, gives me the same pick-me-up that you seem to be experiencing in Denver. I also like to investigate the unfamiliar. I pray
that the gift of discovery will be your inspiration.
Posted by: Joanne | Thursday, March 21, 2019 at 04:40 PM
Our dear Kristi,
All you write(and whenever you write it)are a gift and something we look forward to.
THANK YOU!!
Love
Natalia. Xo
Posted by: Natalia | Thursday, March 21, 2019 at 04:45 PM
That's inspiring, Mike. Thanks also for your words about research. (And do come back to haunt if this blog should stop!)
Posted by: Kristin Espinasse | Thursday, March 21, 2019 at 04:46 PM
You had me for a moment. Whew! Love the garden journal. I have been keeping one for almost 15 years. Just about to run out of pages.. It is a wonderful way to plan, dream and revisit and remember just when you started those tomato seeds last year. I do hope you keep writing forever. I love that pepper tree and hope to see it in person one day.
Posted by: Sherry Frank | Thursday, March 21, 2019 at 04:47 PM
.... I like the garden sketch.. it all seems so 'right'! You have a wonderul green thumb and are very creative wi ti... so please do not give up on your garden or you wonderful writing. We all do look farward to your quotidien and worldly adventures or your entire family. Taking a wee break is good for a newperspective on your relationships and goals in life, short term and long view. It is a chance to relax and recahrge your batteries, as well. Have a safe trip home.. and keep up the great work in all areas! bisous, Judi
Posted by: Judith Dunn | Thursday, March 21, 2019 at 04:53 PM
Kristi,
Have you ever considered spending an occasional day or half-day meeting with travelers in your hometown and showing them around? That is, hiring your charming-self (selves, if you include your husband) out? I know there are French guides who do this kind of thing already, but your perspective as an American relating to traveling Americans (and others) would be unique, in my opinion. For example, I am staying in Bonnieux for a week in June with a group and would love an American to 'hang with' for a morning or afternoon. Go to a market, bakery, see a local site or two. You could probably do this a few times a year just with those of us who follow your blog. Just a bug in your ear! Best wishes for a special visit with your sister. Evelien
Posted by: Evelien Woolard | Thursday, March 21, 2019 at 05:05 PM
You scared me for a minute. Don't you dare ever retire!
Posted by: Teresa | Thursday, March 21, 2019 at 05:10 PM
Must say you had me worried there with the concept of "retire", and it was with great relief that I came to the end of the post. We've recently lost (permanently) a number of friends. At our age that experience will only certainly continue. The thought of losing the friendship I've felt with you as you've shared with us all was not a pleasant one. Your "letters" are one of the bright spots of my day when they come. Thank you for being bold.
The garden journal also is a good idea. Then I'd know later where those crocus or tulips were, for when I want to plant something in addition.
Hope your visit here in the States is all you'd hoped it would be. I've enjoyed feeling like I was "next door" here in Utah, even if I couldn't get to meet with you.
Carolyn
Posted by: Carolyn Chase | Thursday, March 21, 2019 at 05:16 PM
Hi Kristi,
I am a writer and often get many of my ideas when driving. Not very convenient, but still, it’s nice to have ideas coming. I often have pen and notepad nearby so I can jot things down as soon as I’ve arrived at my destination.
This illustrates 2 things: that a writer’s mind is always working (it’s not just in the car or at the desk, of course), but also that it can be hard to get away from our work and feel we’re “finished for the day.” Yet there’s value in putting aside our work and getting out in the world! Keeps us healthy (and gives us material)!
All best, Chris
Posted by: Chris | Thursday, March 21, 2019 at 05:22 PM
Oh! So relieved you're not retiring!! I would miss you. I am glad you got to spend some time with your sister and her family. The Denver Botanical Gardens are on my bucket list. Ciao for now!
Posted by: Maggie Grace | Thursday, March 21, 2019 at 05:29 PM
No Kristi, I cannot see you retiring, as writing is a HUGE part of your life. You'd miss it and we'd all feel an enormous loss! Today's post was timely ~ I've spent all of this warm, sunny afternoon planting my tiny garden, a space I once thought was way too small! Now I see it's perfect. I'm watering plants and dreams today...
Posted by: Cynthia GS | Thursday, March 21, 2019 at 05:29 PM
I’m very happy for you! Finding and jumping right in to that gardening journal is kind of like reinventing yourself-even though you’ve been a gardener since the beginning-I guess it’s like being reinvigorated! Sounds very exciting-good for the mind and soul! I’m glad you’ve had so many nice experiences during your time in CO! And, happier still that your writing is such a core part of you and that you want to keep sharing your life and words with us! We are all lucky!! Judi
Posted by: Judi | Thursday, March 21, 2019 at 05:48 PM
I wish the timing was a little better, as you are getting ready to leave the Denver area, I will be flying into Denver early April to attend a fiftieth wedding anniversary party for dear friends and have some quality time with my two sisters in our old stomping grounds of Fort Collins. I would have loved to meet up for coffee or lunch or take my sisters to one of the wine tastings. Loved the picture, still that much snow? Safe travels back to France and keep on writing.
Posted by: Dawn Johnson | Thursday, March 21, 2019 at 05:55 PM
As Candide said, "il faut cultiver notre jardin" ("we must cultivate our garden"). You have definitely become French!
Posted by: Keith Van Sickle | Thursday, March 21, 2019 at 05:57 PM
My heart jumped when I read the heading for this article, and then it settled, when I read your closing. I am so happy to read your wonderful words, Kristi. Stay awhile! Et, merci pour tout vos mots!
Posted by: Alyssa | Thursday, March 21, 2019 at 06:13 PM
Oh Dear Kristi, we take the ease and grace with which you write your column for granted...you manage to make your writing seem effortless--a great literary achievement! May the process become more joyful for you, and less onerous--just take in our delight and pleasure. Imagine it, and let it nurture you. Merci a mille fois!
Posted by: Valerie | Thursday, March 21, 2019 at 06:42 PM
I had the delightful experience of visiting in 2010, we had mutual friendships which led to an appointment during the time the Espinasses lived in St. Cecile and operated Domaine Rouge-Bleu. We spent a lovely afternoon chatting & sipping and purchased a few bottles of their excellent product. However, this was two Espinasse houses ago and who knows if there is room, time or practical ability to similarly entertain these days? I will note of my many visits to France and several times in Provence, that day was singular and special. Kristi & Jean-Marc, you might not remember it, but I do, and I'll always treasure it. Best wishes from the Nebraska invaders.
Posted by: Anne W Anderson | Thursday, March 21, 2019 at 06:47 PM
Ah, retirement has given me the time to relax and plan for travels. Frank and I will return to France for the 21st time in early May with hopes to visit you again as we will stay in Saint-Cyr-sur-Mer for a week, exploring the small towns along the coast. So keep on writing of your lovely garden and home adventures.
Posted by: Barbara Blizzard | Thursday, March 21, 2019 at 07:00 PM
So very happy to read that you aren't retiring! But time away from the desk can be inspiring and life-giving. Enjoy to the fullest your visit with your sister and others! I hope someday you and Jean-Marc can make it to SoCal. And perhaps my husband Mark and I will visit southern France as well. It's still #1 on my bucket list. Until then, I visit through your delightful blog posts!
Posted by: Karene Wells | Thursday, March 21, 2019 at 07:18 PM
As so many have said my heart dropped for a moment when you mentioned retirement. But was so relieved to read you will continue as long as you can.
I write audiobook reviews for my soundcommentary.com and I also edit reviews from many others who review for SoundCommentary-"your wise guide to audiobooks." I also write in other venues off and on. You are so correct - the actual writing is only a small part of the process and for me the whole process is very time consuming. Love that from Fitzgerald. Thanks.
so thank you for sharing so much so honestly. As I've said before, you keep me going, in so many ways. You and those who comment are inspiring.
Posted by: jean Palmer | Thursday, March 21, 2019 at 08:17 PM
Dear Kristi -
Please don't retire, as your penmanship (in your lovely garden journal) is now definitely French. :-)
Love your spirit and your stories!
Posted by: Cynthia | Thursday, March 21, 2019 at 10:35 PM
Dear Kristi,
Refreshed and renewed! The value of time away from everyday life. I have always admired your perseverance in writing your journal and have always felt you must ‘’live life’’ to write about it. So bravo for taking time off when you need to.
As for your garden...artichokes, kiwi, kumquats and mandarins. What a glorious bounty that will be. May your garden thrive!
Posted by: Chris Allin | Thursday, March 21, 2019 at 11:14 PM
What a lovely encouraging writing today - thank you. And thank you for all these glimpses into your life - both outer and inner.
Posted by: Elaine | Friday, March 22, 2019 at 12:21 AM
Dear Kristi ~ I held my breath for a few moments as I began to read this post. Then the sigh of relief escaped as you promised you had no intention of "retirement". Instead of that word, I like to think of this later stage in life as r e w i r e m e n t .
I realize at this point in my writing life that I don't need to post on my blog every week. In fact sometimes, I just manage one or twice a month. There are so many other demands. Whenever you feel like writing is exactly when you should do it. The words will never stop in your head. When you send them off to your readers they will be welcome ... whenever. Enjoy planning your garden!
Happy Spring!
Posted by: Patricia Sands | Friday, March 22, 2019 at 02:49 AM
Well said, Patricia! From one writer to another. I am a huge fan of you both!
Posted by: Chris Allin | Friday, March 22, 2019 at 03:20 AM
I’m in agreement with the others, did think for a moment you were considering retirement, and very happy to know you are not.
Posted by: Buffy | Friday, March 22, 2019 at 04:24 AM
Kristi, you give so much pleasure to so many people.
Your talent is a gift to all which you share so generously.
Enjoy your time with family and we look forward to further news when you return home.
Posted by: Heather | Friday, March 22, 2019 at 04:41 AM
Hi Kristi - My thoughts on the creative process - to those to whom much is given, much is expected. This is not meant to be a burden, but a joy both to a creative person, like yourself, as well as a delight to the appreciative recipients of the fruits of your labor, like us, your readers. As you are driven to breathe, you will always be driven to create. Fortunate for us that your ideas, dreams and impressions are “birthed” into tangible scenarios to which we can relate. We grow from the vicarious experiences, are comforted by your honest challenges (for we are all works in progress), and are encouraged by your victories. Time away, special moments with loved ones, and travel recharge your batteries for even more material with which to create. How meaningful, fulfilling and fun for all of us! May you always treasure and use your gift that keeps on giving. Thank you! - Janet
Posted by: Janet | Friday, March 22, 2019 at 06:22 AM
Reminds me when I moved house in England. I lovingly created a map showing where all the flowers and bulbs were planted so they would know when spring came! The garden was my haven during a difficult marriage and I know it brought a lot of joy to many people passing by ...
And I understand you about the Creative process.
But I learnt that when you are less available people come to appreciate you more...
Enjoy your time Kristi and never drink the guilt pill ;-)
Posted by: Kristina | Friday, March 22, 2019 at 09:31 AM
I would so love to be a gardener. Water, tend, visit.
Posted by: Catherine Berry (But you are in France, Madame) | Friday, March 22, 2019 at 09:53 AM
Dear Kristi
I recently retired and am enjoying time to do the things I love. I am happy to have time to write, time to work in my gardens and on my trails through our woods and along our beautiful streams. I wish you peace and am so glad you will keep writing. If you stopped I feel like I would be losing a beautiful friend. Thank you for sharing all these years.
Adrienne
Posted by: Adrienne | Friday, March 22, 2019 at 03:26 PM
Hi Kristi,
Enjoyed peeking at your garden journal. It seems like winter is a time for planning and dreaming. I can't wait to get out and plant some things! I planted some flowers in a pot on the front porch the other day but I had to wrap the pot the other night in frost cloth because of the low temps. Our last frost is May 15th! When is your last frost in La Ciotat? Hope you enjoyed your time in Denver!
Posted by: Eileen deCamp | Saturday, March 23, 2019 at 12:09 AM