FRENCH WORD-A-DAY

Listening to the other person is essential in a relationship. Patience also helps. Sometimes we only hear own voice or our own opinion.

Congrats on your anniversary!

Love your blogs and love France!

Wish that this Covid would end and soon!

Regards,

Christine

Christine

Congratulations! Have a lovely day. I always remember my mum telling me to ‘never let the sun go down on an argument’. There will always be times we disagree with each other (we’ve been married for 40 years next May) and we don’t always get it right but it is worth trying to keep in mind. Be happy and love each other as much as you can xx

Never go to bed angry! And as I learned sadly when my wife Lauren died on 12/27/2019 after 50 years of marriage , take each additional day as a blessing and an adventure!

How beautiful to listen to Jean-Marc. Congratulations on 27 years of marriage Kristi. You are both good friends and this, I think, is the mainstay in a good marriage. Sadly, this is something I didn't have but the couples I know with the happiest marriages are also best friends.

Your children are just beautiful! And happy and successful - the mark of great parenting. Congratulations to both you and Jean-Marc as its not an easy job.

My marriage advice: separate bathrooms and separate checkbooks. It works!

Remember: it’s not about you, it’s about us.

Joyeux Anniversaire! Wishing you both the very best.

Kristen ,
As i read your beautiful & wise comments from your readers… it made me rethink… yes…celebrate the now & the person who has lasted (almost 49 yrs) by my side…
We must step away, rethink before speaking out.. and always, but always be considerate of one another.. that’s the key!
Happy anniversary to a lovely couple! ♥️
The strongest steel must go through the hottest fire!
Et, voilà !❤️
Teresa

Our dear Kristi and Jean Marc,
Please know that we are sharing your joy and
wishing you every blessing of health and happiness always!!
Congratulations!!
Rod and I just celebrated our 56th.
Straight from the heart words: each other and family first.And even if you're pissed off( pardon,pardon!, no other description fits) sky high, stick around and talk it out.
When you reach the troisieme age(and even well before) you realize how every day is a gift and how much you cherish each other.
Arms around you both.
Love
Natalia. Xo

Bon anniversaire de mariage!! Vingt-sept ans!!

Sir Harold Nicholson's advice is great especially considering marriage to
Vita Sackville-West.

Felicitations!!

54 years later this summer, I would completely agree with your assessment of a marriage. It's what you create together. Accepting that neither is perfect, and that you're a team to manage the impact of what comes along, with basically shared values and goals, you can move forward. Like a rocket in space, when there are variations in the path, you correct and continue, moving on from where you are. For me, my faith in God has been indispensable in weathering a few disasters, as well.
Carolyn

Listen with your heart, ask questions when you don’t understand & be willing to admit you are wrong when appropriate. Congratulations and best wishes for continued happiness. Jo-Anne

On rare occasion, it's sometimes best to go to bed angry, rather than say words that can never be taken back. The morning sunshine usually diminishes our distress and we realize that our disagreement was really pretty minor. Felicitations!

Congratulations! A relationship is strengthened (and also weakened) upon the little things. The small, everyday attentions matter much more than an occasional grand gesture.

Always remember to say "I was wrong; please forgive me" when it's appropriate. And - "I forgive you and love you."

Kristi,
Happy anniversary. You have had your ups and downs, but have survived all of them and they brought you closer together.
Everyone looks fantastic. Jackie and Max have grown up so quickly.
Peace, Kathleen

Félicitations, Kristi et J-M,
Évidemment, vous avez fait ce qui compte pour rester
liées l’un à l’autre. Si votre recette pour le mariage n’est pas cassée, ne changez rien.
Amitiés,
Joanne

This is Ruth Bader Ginsburg's advice:

Another often-asked question when I speak in public: “Do you have a some good advice you might share with us?” Yes, I do. It comes from my savvy mother-in-law, advice she gave me on my wedding day. “In every good marriage, it helps to be a little deaf.” I have followed that advice assiduously, and not only at home through 56 years of marital partnership. I have employed it as well in every workplace, including the Supreme Court. When a thoughtless or unkind word is spoken, best to tune it out. Reacting in anger or annoyance will not advance one’s ability to persuade.

You have reached the balance in life with each other. C'est bon. Felicitations.

Agree from the beginning that divorce is not an option.
All of the points mentioned above are valuable keys to a long and happy marriage.
Be willing to compromise, on things large and small. And overlook trifles which don't matter in the great scheme of things. Remind yourself every day how fortunate you are to have your wonderful spouse in your life.

Dear Kristi & Jean-Marc,
C O N G R A T U L A T I O N S!!! I'm so happy for you both and for your lovely family. It is great to hear of married couples who are letting love win. So many of your readers have many years of marriage doing just that. What a joy to learn! May your years ahead be so much sweeter,richer and incredibly satisfying each and every day ahead. I have you two and your family in my prayers.

I have been reading French-Word-A-Day since my son told me about it when he learned of it from his high school French teacher, back around 2014, I think. I discovered we have much in common and your writing really inspires me to write.

Before my marriage advice, here is some worthy background info to hi-light my forthcoming advice: My husband is Asian, I'm Caucasian. We have four biological children together. We met in college and fell in love and got married. We just celebrated our 28th Wedding Anniversary. We're going for the gold!!! ;D

Now, my best advice is Christian, for marriage is a sacrament instituted by God so only His Way of doing things with Him apart of the union will work:
1. God must be 1st -- He must be who our souls love and serve first (1st Commandment). Selfishness always breaks apart a marriage.
It is really important for women (wives or single ladies) to let Jesus be the lover of their souls and not to expect that from anyone else. No one else can fulfill that for which our souls were made. It has been said that it is a God shaped hole that only God can fill. Husbands are called to love their wives as Christ loves the church (Ephesians 5:25) which is the harder calling. Women are called to submit to their husbands. If husbands are loving their wives as Christ loves the church, wives will naturally submit to their husband's love. It's designed by God himself, so it works, and is a perfect design.

2. The Holy Spirit is a married couple's advocate and will counsel them individually to love each other unconditionally. He'll plant loving thoughts and those will encourage loving action if the couple chooses Agape style love over self-love. We don't have to figure out how to Love on our own, we have an ever-present Guide.

3. Being content to bring things to the Lord in prayer and let Him take over instead of having to fix things by ourselves keeps us from making impatient and narcissistic decisions. Sometimes the answer is NO and we need to patiently pray and seek the Lord's Will, which is perfect, so we'll be OK if we don't get our way.

4. Cut one's spouse some mercy and forgive quickly for we will be forgiven based on how we forgive. If we choose to forgive, we immediately create an environment of life.

5. When a couple fights, they do not just hurt each other, they hurt countless others: all those in the family, work places, friend circles and even complete strangers should they learn because the fighting brings a legal separation or divorce. It leaves a very bad poison that lingers forever.

6. Marriage is a sacred calling. Loving one's spouse is divine living that honors God. The first person we should volunteer to show the Love of Christ to is our spouse and our family -- Mother Teresa said it best (paraphrased) -- love and serve your families -- don't fly to India to volunteer in the Home for the Dying -- take care of your families.

I hope this is helpful to get you to the golden 50 years and beyond.

God bless you two and your family.

Listening.
Hugging.
Giving up being right to being thoughtful and kind.

Marriage is the unconditional commitment of two imperfect people. Its success is most attainable with a 90/10 relationship where each spouse gives 90% and expects 10%. Another essential component - a loving husband should enable his wife to feel cherished, and a loving wife should make her husband feel respected. I was blessed for over 51 years by a marriage with these goals in mind and, although my husband is now with the Lord, I am encouraged by the faith that we will meet again. Congratulations, Kristi - good things come to those who persevere with a joyful heart in all circumstances. - Janet

Salut,
Mes pensées:
Ma femme est morte il y a deux ans, après nous étions ensemble pendant 39 ans. Chérissez votre relation; comme Joni Mitchell a dit, “…You don’tknow what you’ve got ‘till it’s gone…”
Lanny
Seattle, WA

Great advice, Celeste. Thanks for taking the time to write it....

Dear Kristi,

So wonderful…27 years. You and Jean-Marc have shared your ups and downs and have shown your readers how both can strengthen a marriage. Yours is an amazing story.

After 51 years of marriage I have little more to add to the insightful words of your other readers. Being married is truly a blessing in one’s life.

Thank you for sharing your life in France with us. You keep so many connected to a country we love.

PS…Jules had and still has absolutely gorgeous hair!

We just celebrated our 40th! When asked how we do it I say it's like the stock market - you stay in it and sit tight weathering the ups and downs. And it pays off in the end! Also grace, grace, generous grace towards one another.
Felicitations, Kristi et Jean-Marc!

The day my husband and I married, his aunt gave us a card with this advice:

"Never yell at each other unless the house is on fire".

This advice has served us well. No one at all likes to be yelled at and you can't unring that bell. It's all about treating your beloved the way you'd like to be treated.