La Surdité: I Can't Hear What You Are Saying! + Tinnitus in French
Friday, April 14, 2023
Jean-Marc, tending to his tomato plants as Mama the Dove looks on.
la surdité (suhr-dee-tay)
: hearing loss, deafness, infirmité auditive
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A DAY IN A FRENCH LIFE by Kristi Espinasse
"Je n'entends pas ce que tu m'as dit..."
Over the past year, I have noticed my husband and I aren't hearing each other so well anymore (and it's not like we're that old at 55 and 56). Proximity used to be the problem: "I can't hear you when you're talking to me from the other room!" one of us grumbles (we're both guilty of these long-distance hurlements). But lately, I've noticed a few other factors that may explain our surdité, or hearing loss. I'll get to those in a minute...
Pardon? What was that you said? Hmm? Hein? I CAN'T HEAR YOU! Often, these ear strainings, or hearing struggles, happen when we are right beside each other: seated at the table, working in the garden, or riding in our car. It can be so frustrating and there's the tendency to want to blame the other. "Tu marmonnes," I'll say to Jean-Marc, wishing he’d speak up. But when my husband went to see the doctor last month about the ringing and buzzing in his ears, we learned les acouphènes were affecting his hearing. (The tinnitus came on suddenly, two years ago. It got so bad that Jean-Marc now wears une prothèse auditive). While we still don't know what brought on his severe tinnitus (stress? the vaccination?), we now know it is partly responsible for our communication conundrum.
BLAME IT ON THE FRENCH
At least Jean-Marc has a good reason for not hearing me clearly. But the same isn't true for you-know-who. (I'll admit: listening is part of the problem. I've got to tune in when my loved ones speak!) On the bright side, our hearing difficulties do lead to some laughs. Recently, while out on a morning walk, the subject of breakfast came up—this, just after the subject of fishing, which must have been on my mind when Jean-Marc said:
"Tu veux le croissant qui reste d'hier matin?"
"Uh...No thanks. I'll have toast," I said, thinking it odd he was offering me yesterday's fish for breakfast. Beurk!
But Jean-Marc insisted that if I wanted it, the fish was mine. He'd happily leave it for me. We went round and round with this fishy conversation until I turned to him and asked just what exactly are you talking about? And that's when I heard about le croissant (and not le poisson). Ouf! I now understand that French is to blame for my own auditive issues--and I was beginning to think it was my age. That said, I will think about a visit to the ear doctor--l'Oto-Rhino-Laryngologiste (try hearing that one in French!).
***
I hope you enjoyed today's story. Now is a good time to plug my friend Dave's French listening program. Check it out and be sure to get the French Listening Course.
FRENCH VOCABULARY
Click here to listen to Jean-Marc read this French list:
la surdité = hearing loss
Je n'entends pas ce que tu m'as dit = I didn't hear what you said
Pardon = Excuse me
hein = eh? what?
marmonner = to mumble
tu marmonnes = you're mumbling
l'acouphène (m) = tinnitus
une prothèse auditive = hearing aid
beurk! = yuck! ew!
le croissant = croissant
le poisson = fish
ouf! = phew
Our daughter, Jackie, and 18-year-old Lili-the-Cat, who is deaf, or sourd. Turns out there’s a word for Age-Related Hearing Loss: Presbycusis. I would love to hear your stories regarding la surdité. Also, have you experienced tinnitus and do you know the cause? Thank you for commenting.
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For more online reading: The Lost Gardens: A Story of Two Vineyards and a Sobriety
Let me be very clear with you and tell you that Don and I did the same thing with words until we BOTH high-tailed it to the Phonak clinic here and got tiny, matching-my-hair hearing aids that I ADORE. ALSO I HAVE LONG HAIR AS DO YOU. No one will ever see your aids and, Kristie, if you wish more about this incredibly life change, you know where to find me. We were saying things like “Is there a head on the keg” and would hear “Are you asking to spread my legs?” And worse….
We laughed for a few months and then, bammo, we hear so well it’s almost too well. Our Tv has a little box that sends all sound to our ear plugs…fantastic, since some movies are unintelligible and have no soutitres.
GO FOR IT.
Posted by: Suzanne Dunaway | Friday, April 14, 2023 at 12:16 PM
Thank you, Suzanne. And I adore your responses which always make me laugh out loud! I will think about your suggestion. Funny you mention hair-coordinating hearing aides as I noticed Jean-Marcs match his salt-n-pepper sideburns :-)
Posted by: Kristin Espinasse | Friday, April 14, 2023 at 12:22 PM
I have been wearing aids for about 4 years, still basically have to see lips move to completely understand. Some speakers just don't project when they speak and I am always at a loss. Aid are helpful, but not withour their problems.
Posted by: PHYLLIS MORTON | Friday, April 14, 2023 at 01:17 PM
I have had tinnitus for years in my right ear. My left ear is fine. I went to a 'Balance Specialist' for vertigo & hearing testing. Evidently at some time in the past, I had an illness that damaged my right ear. She said that is usually how it happens, a virus or something. Due to hearing aids in the US not being covered by insurance at the time, I did not purchase any. Recently, the US is now allowing hearing aids to be purchased over the counter, not costing excessive amounts anymore, thank goodness. My tinnitus is not bad, I tune it out when I'm concentrating on something. A part of aging for most people.
Posted by: Marcia | Friday, April 14, 2023 at 02:01 PM
Hi, Marcia. Jean-Marc’s tinnitus is in his right ear, too. We had not considered the possibilities that you mention. Thanks for the helpful info.
Posted by: Kristin Espinasse | Friday, April 14, 2023 at 02:05 PM
I've had tinnitus for over ten years. It started when I had a hearing "incident" when I was Bhutan, of all places, for work and might have resulted from a combination of stress and altitude(?). It's a mystery. While I always hear the ringing, I can mostly tune it out and am not freaked out like I was during the first few months. Thank goodness for that. I'm not sure if my hearing loss is a result of the tinnitus or vice versa, but about six weeks ago I finally bit the bullet and went down to Audition Santé here in Marseille and got two hearing aids. They do help, although they are not like getting one's perfect hearing back. Still, I was out at a restaurant last week and could actually follow the conversation--something that was becoming more and more difficult in noisy places.
Posted by: Kyle | Friday, April 14, 2023 at 03:22 PM
Hi Kristi-
My son, now 30, got the first Moderna vaccine and develop terrible tinnitus after, which has slowly gotten better through the years-although still sometimes present. There was (is?) an online group for people dealing with possible vaccine related tinnitus.
I caught a TV segment once on the thousands of people who had suffered this-a significant enough number that
it was starting to be looked at seriously.
So for Jean-Marc it could be a possibility?
Posted by: Dana | Friday, April 14, 2023 at 04:09 PM
Dana here again-also, it was bad enough for my son that doctors recommended against further vaccines.
So he only had the one.
Posted by: Dana | Friday, April 14, 2023 at 04:11 PM
Hi Dana, I am glad your son is better. JM had the Moderna, too, and the tinnitus was immediate and has not gone away. It is really bothering him. He, too, shared his experience in an online group where there are other people dealing with tinnitus:
https://www.vaccin-covid-acouphenes.com/temoignages/
Posted by: Kristin Espinasse | Friday, April 14, 2023 at 04:45 PM
I realized I needed hearing aids two years ago. At church, I would ask my little friends to look at me when they spoke to me (I lose hearing with women and children's voices). That is when I realized I was probably doing a lot of lip reading. The "prothese audititve" are helpful but not perfect. But it is better than having to stand in front of everyone all of the time!
Posted by: Valerie Porter | Friday, April 14, 2023 at 04:50 PM
Bonjour Kristin,
Barb and I have from time to time communication problems but I don't think it's related to tinnitus; to me it's more a prononciation issue: she is a us native but I emigrated 40+ years ago and still cary a strong French accent; at the contrary when I go to France the family say I have an American accent! Even Siri and Alexa do not recognize.my dictations; frustrating!
Meanwhile all the best to you and Mark
Pierre
Posted by: pierre lerouge | Friday, April 14, 2023 at 04:52 PM
Not hearing is the number one cause of arguments I found. One cause can be ear wax which some people are prone to collecting. A visit to the ear doctor is in order. It may be a simple solution.
Posted by: Suzanne in NJ | Friday, April 14, 2023 at 04:59 PM
I developed tinnitus after being put on antidepressants many years ago. I am long off the medications now but still have tinnitus. My readings on the subject lead me to understand that we all have tinnitus but don’t hear it. But once you hear it you can’t stop hearing it! I tend to tune it out but it is always there.
Posted by: Linda Frank | Friday, April 14, 2023 at 05:47 PM
This is a description of my wife and me. We seriously joke about learning sign language. Even with good hearing aids, it’s a struggle for me. It’s not about volume. My wife can hear a spider crawling on the wall in the next room.
Posted by: Edward | Friday, April 14, 2023 at 06:36 PM
Just a suggestion: I recently had the wax cleaned out of my ears and it made a tremendous difference in my hearing. Check it out. One of my eardrums was completely covered in wax and some in the other ear too. A 5-minute procedure and voila!!
Posted by: Merle Minda | Friday, April 14, 2023 at 06:47 PM
I don't know anything about tinitis, but in your own case, I don't think there's anything wrong with your hearing, Kristi. Even someone who has lived in France for all 55 of their years could easily mistake "croissant" for "poisson," especially if it's followed by "qui reste," whose "q" makes the already slightly-voiced croissant's final "t" inaudible. Don't worry about it, and take care of your choux choux.
Posted by: Teresa | Friday, April 14, 2023 at 07:13 PM
Chère Kristi,
At age 80 I am realizing that my hearing is not quite what it used to be. Three years ago I had a hearing test done, a prerequisite for seeing an "oto" who diagnosed me with mild to moderate hearing loss. So back I went to the testing guy who subjected me to a hard sell to buy hearing aids at $5,000 per ear! I walked out. At home, I realized my difficulty lies with low, male voices that can sound like a mumble to me. When things get worse I know I can now buy hearing aids direct without the hard sell and at a much more reasonable price, thanks to a change in the laws.
Incidentally, I had not heard about the connection between covid vaccinations and tinnitus. I will tell my son, 57, who has tinnitus to investigate.
I love your blog!
Gabrielle
Posted by: Gabrielle Charest | Friday, April 14, 2023 at 08:06 PM
This is the first time since I signed up so long ago that I see the whole post in the e-mail. An effective change! Yet I went to your blog page anyway, so I could both read the comments and post this one.
I did learn a lot about tinnitus. Possibly time to see a doctor.
Posted by: Sarah LaBelle | Friday, April 14, 2023 at 09:10 PM
Hi Kristi, we have a friend with tinnitus and he believes it was a result of an accident. He banged his head on the pavement after being knocked down by a car. It is apparently one of the causes.
Best Wishes to you both.
Posted by: Angela | Friday, April 14, 2023 at 09:29 PM
Hi Kristi,
I’ve been through all this!
Audiologists love to find people with mild hearing loss and sell them the most expensive aids! Don’t fall for it. As others have said, aids rarely give you perfect hearing back. Insist on trying lower levels. How is music sounding to you? Fir me it was distressingly distorted.
The brain adapts to hearing aids slowly and things get a bit better.
I found Phonak good for speech, especially with the Roger device they have and Widex best for music.
My funny story with my wife - that was nice what was it ‘ paralysed cork’ !!! She’d said ‘caramelised pork’ ! A sense of humour helps 😊
Posted by: Bob | Friday, April 14, 2023 at 10:43 PM
Reminds me of my dad many years ago, answering questions not asked. Much merriment all around. Of course the hospital visits required a translator because if you don't answer or answer wrong there's folks who go right to the demented diagnosis. For what it's worth I've had Moderna x 5 with no side effects.... auditory, anyway. I can't see fer nuthin....
Posted by: Karen in Northport, NY | Saturday, April 15, 2023 at 12:19 AM
I am a professor at Baylor Medical College and have worked on vaccines since the mid-1980s. I helped set up the International Vaccine Institute which is a flourishing organization in Korea. Please do not spread rumors about vaccines. Please stick to teaching French at one word per day.
Posted by: Richard Mahoney | Saturday, April 15, 2023 at 01:57 AM
Kinda harsh, no? Sometimes discoveries are made from people chatting. Jenner? Smallpox?
Posted by: Karen in Northport, NY | Saturday, April 15, 2023 at 04:06 AM
I just had an "ear cleaning" by an ear doctor this week, and it has made an enormous difference. My left ear was completely blocked, and now I can hear!
Posted by: Joan | Saturday, April 15, 2023 at 06:07 AM
Highly unlikely it was thousands of people. It's considered a rare side-effect of Pfizer-BioNTech, and is treatable.
Posted by: Wayne | Sunday, April 23, 2023 at 06:45 AM
I very much doubt chatting every produced modern medical breakthroughs. Arduous research, yes. Chatting, no.
Posted by: Wayne | Sunday, April 23, 2023 at 06:48 AM
I have a very funny story which has more to do with my inability to speak French as a 20 year old arriving in Aix-en-Provence for my junior year abroad.
Upon arrival at the home of my host family, I wondered where Monsieur was... had only met Madame and her little boy. I thought Madame said he was traveling in Hawaii...when
actually he was working in a quincaillerie! Confusion, for sure, not because of my hearing, but instead my feeble French!
To read more, my book, "My French Adventure" is available on my website: MoliTeachesFunFrench.com ...where you can also subscribe to my free bimonthly newsletter
Posted by: Marjorie Clark | Sunday, April 23, 2023 at 03:28 PM