FRENCH WORD-A-DAY

The moss on these rocks is "Christmas tree green" and the sea, dazzling at sunrise.

TODAY'S WORD: LA CANNE à PÊCHE

    : fishing pole

A DAY IN A FRENCH LIFE by Kristi Espinasse

The first gift on Christmas morning came in the form of sunrays. Clear blue skies and warm temperatures meant our extended family would be able to enjoy a festive meal on the terrace instead of crammed inside, some of us at the table, others seated sur les canapés. Last-minute switcharoos make me nervous, but moving the party outside would be worth the temporary dérangement.

When our daughter woke up she helped her father transport our heavy dining table out to the front porch and I quickly decorated it with the help of a green linen nappe (one my mom picked out years ago), pine cones, dried bougainvillea petals and the colorful crimson leaves from a wintering jasmine. 

With la dinde reheating in the oven (Jean-Marc cooked and carved the turkey la veille...) Jackie put together the amuse-bouches, ignoring my questions and concerns over quantity and timing. "Mom, I am calm. Do not stress me out." My daughter’s firm words prompted me to pause and experience some of her peace as she slowly rolled smoked salmon and herbed cream cheese into long ribbons of cucumber, arranging the bouchées artfully onto a platter before baking a tomato tart. Jackie was finishing up some guacamole when my in-laws began arriving, arms laden with food and wrapped gifts. Over the years I have learned to anticipate these helpful contributions, the challenge is finding available fridge and counter space to receive the generous offerings! Now that we have a dog, I am careful not to set down food haphazardly. So when my belle-soeur Mariem placed a large tray of Moroccan cookies on a bench I immediately re-routed dessert to the crowded stove top. "Ricci might like those," I explained. (Later on, we would learn our toutou liked the turkey resting on the end table... but Grandma Jules was quick to intervene: “Ricci! Down!”)

I wish I could report that I am getting better with entertaining but, for a so-called control freak, the chaos involved in hosting Christmas is, to put it mildly, déroutant. And now with a toutou tossed into the mix, it feels like a three-ring circus. As I try to ensure everything from a well-behaved dog to a fork with every plate (one of my family members regularly disrupts my careful table settings, using a fork or two to serve the meat!) the Powers That Be further shake things up by inserting into this madness a lot of "choses non-anticipés". 

Ma belle famille. My in-laws and family

One thing we did anticipate this year was gift overload. I settled on a one-gift-per-guest rule (each person brought one cadeau to be exchanged). It was my sister-in-law who came up with the idea to fish for the gifts. Jury-rigging a headless mop, a string, and an S hook, Cécile produced a formidable canne à pêche for our little treasure hunt.

Jules was the first to go fishing...immediately catching a coffee cup depicting the London Tower (a gift from Meissa who recently visited England). Next Mom passed the fishing pole to Jean-Marc et ainsi de suite… 

Jean-Marc caught an aperitif set….Cécile a pêché une livre sur Marseilles…Mariem hooked a bamboo electric toothbrush….Max reeled in some decadent truffles (wrapped in a lottery ticket!)… Jackie caught a soft blanket, Meissa hooked a giant candle, Farès fished a kitchen composter, Zachariah hooked a handpan drum…Jacques reeled in a fondu maker…and I made off with a spa massage for 2!

By now the joy and laughter was so contagious I forgot all about the dog, the forks, the timing or whatever else I was struggling to keep on top of…in time to experience one final gift of the day: le relâchement total. And, ahhh, did this feel good!

Bye for now, dear reader. Bon bout d’an as they say here. Thank you for another year of reading my journal. See you next year for a brand new chapter in this French life. 

Bien amicalement,
Kristi
P.S. Click the arrow in the center of the image below to watch the 5-second video "Fishing for Gifts"

FRENCH VOCABULARY 

Click here to listen to the sound file
la canne à pêche = fishing pole 
le canapé = couch, sofa
le dérangement = disruption
la nappe = tablecloth
la dinde = turkey
la veille  = the night before
l’amuse-bouche = appetizer 
la bouchée = bite, mouthful
le toutou = doggy
la belle-sœur = sister-in-law
déroutant = disconcerting
la chose = thing
non anticipé = unforseen
le cadeau = present 
et ainsi de suite = and so on
le relâchement = loosening up, letting go
bon bout d’an = happy end of the year
bien amicalement = yours

REMERCIEMENTS - ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
Mille mercis to readers sending in a donation for the first time, and to those of you who regularly contribute to my journal. And thank you for your thoughtful notes. It is all so encouraging!

Al K.
Mel L
Jim S.
Lynn R.
Brad D.
Marcy W.
Thom B.
Rajeev B.
Linda H.
Diane O.
Marsha B.
Renee H.
Cerelle B.
Marlies W.
Danielle W.
Caroline M.
Maureen M.
Mary & Bill E.
Natalia, Rod et Les Mignons

Wishing you a Blessed Christmas. Diane O.

Joyeux Noël et Bonne Année à vous et votre famille, Kristi ! Maureen M.

God Bless you and your family and wishing you continued success and MUCH LOVE. Cerelle

Merry Christmas to all! and to all a good night!! thank you for your open heart and kindness. Marlies W.

Hi Kristi, I've been fascinated by your stories ever since you began your blog. I hope this helps along the way! Joyeux Noel! Caroline

Thank you for helping me remember and sometimes learn new French words and phrases. I can read technical French but day-to-day French is very different! Brad D.

Chere Kristi, Thank you so very much for your generosity in sharing your life and photos ~ you are a good reminder of what's important in life. Love your reader's quote on 12/21, too. Merry Christmas, Kristi to you and your family. Love, Danielle W.

Thank you for all the joy you've brought me over the years! You help nourish the francophile in me which means you lift me up! Your writing and sharing bless me. May many blessings come right back to you in 2024! Renee

COMMENTS
To comment on today's post, click here. Thanks in advance for your notes. They are individually-wrapped gifts that I love to read.  Corrections are welcome and appreciated.

ARCHIVE PICK
Read a story from 2008 about an awkward gift exchange involving a lavender wand and holy water from Lourdes.

I love this scene, photographed a year or so ago at our local Charity shop, Emmaus.

Today’s Word: Joyeux Noël

  : Merry Christmas! 

A DAY IN A FRENCH LIFE by Kristi Espinasse
I would like to share a reader comment that is helping me to keep the faith, no matter how many times I stumble, on this, the final countdown to Noël: Help me to recall it again now...

"The spirit of Christmas is in the love you share and give and has nothing to do with decorations, gifts or money. Delight in those gathered near and good times spent together. These are fleeting and a blessing to be cherished. Joyeux Noël & Bonne Année."

And here are Jo-Anne Yurosko's words in French, translated by Chatgpt, to underline the point....

"L'esprit de Noël réside dans l'amour que vous partagez et donnez, et n'a rien à voir avec les décorations, les cadeaux ou l'argent. Réjouissez-vous de ceux qui sont réunis près de vous et des bons moments passés ensemble. Ceux-ci sont éphémères et une bénédiction à chérir. Joyeux Noël et Bonne Année."

Thank you, Jo-Anne, for this heartening message. Each time I read it it evokes a new reaction--most recently tears. I really struggle with the Christmas season, and I am beginning to understand why: apart from my birthday being tossed into the flurry, it is the influx and bombardment of "things", the tornado of shoulds and expectations that keep me anxious and too distracted to enjoy the festivities. Thank you for the reminder that times with our loved ones are fleeting. Let's show each other love and affection by delighting in this time together, looking past our differences and, indeed, our personal failures, forgiving each other's flub-ups or transgressions. It is easier said than done, plus facile à dire qu'a faire, especially when we are focused on the imminent deadline that is Commercial Christmas and all the "trimmings" that go with it. From stocking stuffers to Turkey stuffing our minds are packed with the details of the Yuletide season.

It's not too late to take the focus off these fabricated devoirs that run us around like hopeless slaves, blinded to the message behind Christmas:

Peace on Earth...
good will to men...

Signing off now to enjoy Advent, or these few days leading up to Christmas. And if I should stumble, Lord, I thank you for your most precious gift: le salut. The Gift of Salvation. Joyeux Noël, dear Reader. Take good care and I will check in with you next week with another progress report.

Bien amicalement,

Kristi

COMMENTS
To leave a message, click on this link to the comments box. Merci beaucoup.

Soundfile: for today's recording Jean-Marc and I are reading aloud Jo-Anne Yurosko's words cited at the opening of this letter. Listen in French, then go back and read the quote:

Click here to listen to the French and English audio file

A wooden Christmas tree in the French Alps.

REMERCIEMENTS - ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
Mille mercis to readers sending in a blog donation for the first time, and to my returning patrons listed below. And thank you for these thoughtful notes you left with your gift:

Tam A.
Jane R.
Gwen S.
Mike P.
Vicki B.
Gayle P.
Susan S.
Linda R.
Nancy G.
Irene M.
James N.
Bruce StJ
Judith K.
Mary-Jo J.
Gabrielle C.
Catherine L.
Robbie-Lane J.
John & Charlotte H.

Joyeux Noël . Bruce StJ

Keep up the good work. James N.

I'm happy to support you in a small way. Your posts always bring a smile to my face and heart. Mary-Jo

Thank you for sharing your everyday life - so many laughs (and tears)... Merry Christmas from Long Island, New York! Irene

I enjoy your blog so much...Thank you for sharing your life with us. Merry Christmas to you all. Gwen S.

Thank you for the joy of Christmas that you impart in each and every blog you write. You are much appreciated! Amicalement, Catherine L, San Diego

I am glad to make a contribution. Your writing and thoughts are moving, insightful, and inspiring. I always look forward to them and thank you for sharing such deeply personal moments with us readers. Susan S.

Deck the hulls! Christmas decorations at the Old Port here in La Ciotat

There is no perfect Christmas. Not in France, not where you grew up, and not even at the North Pole. So relax and enjoy the season. Instead of a word, today's offering is a quote by French philosopher Jean Grenier:

"Il est aussi noble de tendre à l'équilibre qu'à la perfection ; car c'est une perfection que de garder l'équilibre"
"It is as noble to strive for balance as for perfection; for it is perfection to maintain balance."

A DAY IN A FRENCH LIFE by Kristi Espinasse

If tradition is to put up le Sapin de Noël at the beginning of Advent, then I'm 8 days late this year. So when my son Max called, Monday, asking if I needed help, I eagerly accepted. "I'll be there in 20 minutes," said he. Good, I thought, Max can help with my least favorite part: assembling our artificial Christmas tree and carefully unfolding every metal branch.

With 20 minutes until my son's arrival, I hurried upstairs to try and do something with my hair. The last time Max dropped by I was wearing the same two-piece velvet set (a gift from Mom I've  taken off only to sleep) and my hair had not been washed in days. There is a verb for this behavior: se laisser aller: If there is one thing besides my husband that keeps me from completely letting go...it's my grown kids, especially my son.

Upstairs I tried pushing back my long, graying hair with the help of an odd pair of sunglasses from our "everything drawer". When this failed to spiff things up, I reasoned that though it was flat, it was clean! Rummaging through my trousse de toilette I found a perfume sampler, spritzed some on, and hurried down the stairs, a ribbon of Chanel No 5 in my wake. For someone who works from home this is my current definition of presentable, though it doesn’t hold a candle to my office-worker days when dressing for perfection was my whole life. (I like to think my life is more balanced now, even if that means a lot of bad hair days.)

Max still hadn't arrived so I tore open the old cardboard box and put together the Christmas tree myself. I took my time, hoping not to have to straighten all of those pesky branches alone. Forty minutes passed and still no show. Harrumph! I was almost done with the chore and beginning to feel that familiar foe: resentfulness. Looking around at all the opened storage boxes and the chaos of Christmas decorations, I grumbled: Who tossed those bulbs and lights in there like this? It's one tangled broken mess! Why am I always stuck with Christmas decorating?  Next year I'm going on a cruise—and getting far away from Christmas!

Whoah! Pausing to figure out where this grumpiness came from, I realized the morning was (so far) an all-work-no-breaks déséquilibre. Currently, at 11 am, I was caught in a tangle of ornaments and there was still laundry and lunch to prepare. The thought sent me spiraling farther down into the holiday hurricane. I knew that if my son walked through the door at that moment, he would meet the least best part of me: Mother Cranky.

I needed some ADR or Adult Time Out. I sat on our family couch, gazing at my sleeping dog. After several deep breaths and recalling all my blessings, I felt much better, ready to attack again (the tree and not my family). Just then, Max appeared with the biggest smile on his face and his signature big bear hug. "Hi Mom. Sorry I'm late. The neighbor needed help.”

"Was it the elderly couple on the ground floor of your apartment building?"

"No, it was the lady en face. She couldn't open her window. Another neighbor tells me she fell last week."

”Well, that was kind of you!” As we chatted beside the tree, I noticed how calmly Max began unraveling the rest of the tree’s branches. Next, he helped sort out all the Christmas paraphernalia into three piles: "à donner", “à garder”,  and “à jeter”. He even took the keepers outside to dust them off and set up the nativity scene, having found the santons.

We were ready to decorate the tree only the Christmas lights were nowhere to be found. “That's ok, Mom,” Max assured me.

“But the lights are the best part of the tree!” I insisted.

“Let’s keep going. We can use this string of lights, here...” Max said, rooting through the giveaway pile. With that, we carried on until the last ornaments were hung on our crooked little tree.

It wasn’t perfect with its scrawny string of lights, but our Christmas tree was sweetly ornamented. Infused with the stories we told each other as we decorated, of neighborly love, of family, and the affection and care of a son for his mother.//

COMMENTS
To leave a comment or to offer a correction, click here.   

Congratulations to our son, Max, who began a new job on Wednesday as sales manager at Château La Tour de L’Evêque. 🎉🎉 Picture taken after Grandma Jules sent him shopping for a few new costumes, or suits for work.

Max, chez lui (at his place). Thanks, Grandma Jules, for the beautiful suits! May he sell lots of wine from Château La Tour de L’Evêque.

FRENCH VOCABULARY

Click here to listen to the French and English vocabulary

Le sapin de Noël = Christmas tree
se laisser  aller = to let oneself go
la trousse de toilette = makeup bag, toiletry bag 
le déséquilibre = imbalance
à donner = to give
à garder = to keep
à jeter = to toss, to throw away
le santon = traditional clay figurine from Provence
le costume = suit
en face = across the way

Congratulations to Jean-Marc and Max for finishing the Spartan Trail race in Morzine, the French Alps

Mom (a.k.a. Grandma Jules) and Ricci on a sunset walk this week.

REMERCIEMENTS - ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
Mille mercis to readers sending in a blog donation for the first time, and to my returning patrons listed below. Your support keeps me going and I am truly grateful!

Mary G.
Nancy M.
Laura Y.
Mary B.
Frances A.
Elaine M.
Claudia P.
Jeanine W.
Chris & Ran B.

 I so enjoy reading about your life. --Mary B. Washington, DC.

Hi, Kristi- I’ve been reading your newsletter for years and hope you have a merry holiday season! --Mary G

Merry Christmas to you and to your whole family!! Thank you for your loving sharing and encouragements to live day by day in Jesus. God bless you. Claudia P.

Max and Jackie trimming the Christmas tree years ago. "Croire" (to believe) is a Christmas story written when Jackie first questioned the existence of Le Père Noel. Click here to read this story from the archives.

Take inspiration from these jolly characters, left, and hang in there when this holiday season speeds up! More words and encouragement in today's update.

Offer a book this holiday season! Thank you for keeping my collected stories in mind for a French-themed Christmas present. Click here to purchase Words in a French Life or another book to put under the tree.

TODAY'S WORD: Un Jour à la fois

  : one day at a time

A DAY IN A FRENCH LIFE by Kristi Espinasse

J’hésite. I am unsure as to what to share today. I've got Christmas on my mind, as do many of you, family, and a To-Do list I'm avoiding (nothing too important. Néanmoins…).

Heureusement, I also have the reminder that “today" all will be well. Even during the holidays… It is when I think of tomorrow, the rest of the week, la semaine prochaine, and Christmas Day that pressure sets in. When I recall my responsibilities beyond today things quickly superimpose one atop the other for an imminent, all-at-once effect and suddenly I'm feeling overwhelmed, dépassée. 

Un Jour à la Fois
I know the key is to take things one day at a time. And today there is a Tarte Tatin baking in my oven, a new/old dog napping on the couch, a husband working across the table from me, and my Mom peacefully sleeping in her studio on the side of our house. If Ricci gave us a scare a few weeks ago, it was Mom's turn to worry us next. Several weeks ago Jules experienced severe pain behind her left eye. Was it a migraine? Had she scratched her eye? A visit to the ophtalmo revealed Mom’s ocular pressure was high. "She's been seeing more and more floaters," I pointed out. The optician assured me they would not cause the "detached retina" Google had warned about. That was a relief—until recently—when the pain returned and Mom's vision fell like a curtain during intermission…. 

It was back to the eye doctor on Friday and a troubling report: Jules' eye pressure had more than doubled since the previous visit. Mom insists she has used the nightly medicated gouttes prescribed to her, but I’m not so sure.

Now she has three new medications to take and a thrice daily visit from "Sargent Kristi" to make sure they're taken. 

Health issues during the holidays are like unexpected guests: they can leave you scrambling. But when I keep things in the day, letting life unfold, everything tends to work itself out, often beautifully. In this moment I have the comforting warmth of a pie baking, the muffled bark of a dog dreaming, and the rattling of my husband's keyboard and my own here now as I type. Best of all, I have my beautiful Mom, who spends these days counting her blessings and, in so doing, inspires me to do the same.

One more thing that is helping this last month of the year: I've got my husband cooking and he is also taking Mom to her early-morning lab appointments, for a bimonthly prise de sang. Jules and Jean-Marc--the two are a dynamic duo and they love nothing more than to tease me as I chase them to the car, with a list of instructions on how to get through the next hour: don't forget this, and be sure to do that!

Even after the family car disappears around the corner, I’m left wondering if Mom could have had that glass of water before her blood test. Oh well, she’ll drink it when she gets home! 

I'm still working on "lâcher prise" or giving up control, and letting go. Life gives us so many chances to practice during the holidays, doesn’t it? How about you, dear reader, how is the end of 2023 going for you and yours? What is the temperature of your current mood? Thanks for sharing a few things you are grateful for in the comments, and, as always, any corrections to this post are welcome and appreciated. See you next week!

COMMENTS
To leave a comment click here. Merci beaucoup!

Photo archives. 2017. Max and his grandmother, Jules, when both lived in Mexico.

FRENCH VOCABULARY

Click here to listen to the sound file

un jour à la fois = one day at a time
J’hésite = I hesitate 
néanmoins = nevertheless, nonetheless 
heureusement = luckily, fortunately
la semaine prochaine = next week
dépassé(e) = overwhelmed
la tarte Tatin = upside down pie
ophthalmologue = eye doctor 
la goutte = drop
la prise de sang = blood test
lâcher prise = letting go
le sapin de Noël = Christmas Tree

KRISTI'S BURNT TARTE TATIN
When the holidays make life topsy-turvy, what better than to make this upside-down pie?

3 apples (I used "golden delicious)
2 TB sugar (more to taste)
a few dollops of butter

Sauté the quartered apples in the butter and sugar. Add some pinches of salt and spices, if you like. For the shortcrust pastry:

85 grams of butter (I used salted)
3 tablespoons water
1 tablespoon oil (I used olive oil)
1 tablespoon sugar (I skipped this)
1 cup flour

I discovered Paule Caillat's French Tart Dough via David Leibovitz's website. First, melt the butter in an ovenproof bowl for 12 minutes (or until the edges brown). Carefully remove the butter from the oven and stir in the flour, forming a ball. Transfer the ball to some wax paper then add another sheet on top before using a rolling pin to smooth out the dough, to roughly the size of your tart pan. 

Place the sauteed apples at the base of the tart pan, then carefully transfer the shortcrust pastry dough over the top. (I mixed chopped pecans into my pastry dough before rolling it out). Bake for 25 minutes at 210C (410F).

I was unable to flip my pie over for the presentation (it was a burnt sticky mess, let me know your tips for improving it). But it tasted good all the same with its caramelized apples with a crumbly short crust topping. It disappeared quickly!

REMERCIEMENTS / ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
Thanks in advance to readers sending in a blog donation for the first time, and to my returning patrons listed below. Your support keeps the wheels of this digital journal turning, and I am truly grateful!

Tom D.
Linda C.
Karen L.
Sheryl W.
Louise H.
Barbara B.
Holly R-J
Suzanne D.

Joyeux Noel Kristi. Your new dog is wonderful! Sheryl W.
Continued thanks for brightening my inbox. Always a smile to be found. Merci bien. Karen L.
Joyeux fêtes from Suzanne and Don and Loulou LOVE Ricci. . . love love love Ricci. Suzanne D.

Le Sapin de Noël - Christmas tree above the port of Bandol. Happy holidays and take good care!