FRENCH WORD-A-DAY

Today, we say goodbye to a longtime reader, Lou, who also helped with a few harvests in his ninth decade of life!

TODAY’S WORD: Repose en Paix

  : rest in peace

A DAY IN A FRENCH LIFE by Kristi Espinasse

It is just after 6 a.m., and my husband is on his way out to harvest at a friend’s vineyard in Bandol. Ever since we sold our last domain, Jean-Marc has managed to keep his feet consistently in (or near) a bucket of grapes. I’m happy for him, and seeing the smile on his face as he kisses me goodbye reminds me to always encourage him to follow his path.

As Chief Grape left the room, I felt an inkling to pray for him. Though it's been years since he struggled with le cafard, our emotional needs and spiritual growth don't suddenly end when we feel better. Positive thoughts and prayers are strengtheners, and faith and hope are what keep us going. My wish for each family member is always the same: that they will grow closer to leur source de vie.

I hear the jingle bell on the front door signaling someone's left the house. "Lord, as Jean-Marc goes out into the vineyard today, his sacred place, please speak to his heart." I didn't have further instructions for God, only one additional request: "Could you also please show me a sign? I know we are not supposed to ask for signs, but anything at all, God, to let me know you are working in his heart."

With that, my day began. I wrangled with family members, trying to get everyone—from my dog to Grandma—settled so I could eventually find some peace and quiet to meet my deadlines. Besides these weekly blog posts, I have a bi-monthly column due soon for France Today and a book project I'm struggling to keep up with.

First order of the day: get my stubborn dog out for a walk. With Ricci straining against the leash, I reached down and scooped her up. "There! ON VA MARCHER!" After fits and starts around the neighborhood, we made it home in time to quickly scramble a few eggs (I hear protein is a good mood stabilizer. Hopefully it helps with female hormones too—mine, this time, and not Ricci’s…).

I now needed to get Mom sorted out—not that Jules felt the same need. But she couldn't deny she needed groceries, and it was time to help change her sheets. Only, after Mom's new helper, Fiona, returned from the store, Mom threw a wrench in my plans by deciding the bed linen change would have to wait. What’s more, she sent Fiona back to my place to change my sheets. (It turns out this was all a lack of communication, which happens often in a bilingual household!)

Tensions were growing, lunch preparation loomed in the air, and I tried to focus on my writing, as story ideas superimposed one over the other, adding to the confusion. Just when I settled down to sort things out, Jackie asked if I could hang out her laundry as she was running late for work. Then Max telephoned for a favor: would I follow him to the repair shop to drop off his company car? And just like that, rebelote!—we were back on the jungle train again!

Somehow, we monkeys managed to get through the day: Jean-Marc processed more grapes, Mom got clean sheets, Jackie made it to work on time, Max’s car was fixed, and I wrote a workable draft for this blog. As usual, the pressure began to ease when I checked in to say goodnight to Mom, and found her in a happy mood (watching horse videos on YouTube does that). "Kristi! You'll never believe what happened!" she said. "Earlier, I was lying here in bed, wishing for something sweet to eat after dinner. A moment later, Jean-Marc came in with two ice cream bars! Isn't that incredible?"

Incredible? Yes, on so many levels. Suddenly, I remembered the prayer I had said earlier and hurried home to tell Jean-Marc about le signe de là-haut. He smiled, more in amusement than conviction, but that was good enough for me. As I once read, "Le sourire est chez l'homme l'empreinte de Dieu"—the smile is in man the imprint of God.

But, dear reader, our story doesn't end here, nor do God's mysterious ways. When evening came, I asked Jean-Marc if he happened to have a photo of the vineyard where he was harvesting that morning—something to illustrate the blog post I was working on.

"The only photo I have is with Lou Bogue."

"Lou Bogue?"

"Yes, Lou harvested with me at that same vineyard several years ago."

That's when I recalled a visit from one of my readers, Lou. At the age of 83, with shoulder-length silver locks and a boyish grin, he helped us harvest at our first vineyard, Domaine Rouge-Bleu. When we moved to La Ciotat, he traveled to visit us. By then, he was in his early 90s. I'll never forget taking Lou to lunch and leaving him to explore le centre-ville that afternoon. He insisted he’d find his way back to his Airbnb, but by early evening, Jean-Marc had an inkling of his own and felt a strong urge to get in his car and go searching for Lou…

Lo and behold, there at the old port, Lou was standing on a corner, waiting for a bus back to his rental. Only there were no more buses that evening. Just when a stranger wandered up to Lou, soliciting for something, Jean-Marc quickly pulled up to the curb.

He reached over to open the passenger door and Lou, ever chipper (and a little pompette after leaving one of the local bars…), thanked him for the ride home. Lou eventually returned to Florida and kept in touch with me via Facebook, as he had for years. In fact, he was one of my first blog readers! As always, he said he was planning a trip to see us. He was 95 the last time he made this promise.

After Jean-Marc reminded me of the harvest with Lou, I went over to Facebook to contact him for permission to post his photo. Only, instead of his usual update, there was a message from his daughter:

"…We want to thank all who've shared cards and their prayers after the recent loss of my dad, Louis Bogue, in Dunedin, Florida. He lived a full 96 years and passed in peaceful sleep after being surrounded by family on February 15, 2024. We will celebrate his life on Father's Day in Atlanta with a book we are creating of his golf journey and adventure-filled life. We invite you to share sentiments and photos…"

I am so sad to learn Lou is no longer among us, and upset I missed the chance to say goodbye. It all brings me back to my driven nature, as I crack the whip at the beginning of another day. Why do I always feel so rushed to get everything done “on time?” Just what is “on time” when you are on a schedule of your own making?

I ask myself, finally, “Whether I get the sheets changed today or whether I’m late saying adieu to a dearly departed friend —what is time in the face of eternity?”

I can almost hear Lou's voice, his wisdom echoing back an answer: "Time, mon amie, is eternal when you do everything with love. So sit back, smile, and remember your husband, your family, and your friends. Have a little more fun in life. Get out there and enjoy some adventures. Love life!"

Thank you, Lou, for keeping in touch and for always promising to get back to France. I love you! I did not tell you directly or often enough how much you impressed me with your plans. If I’m honest, this middle-aged mess was a little suspicious of your endless youth—and now regret not asking you your secret (which may have been shared in the paragraph above)! In your mid-90s, your excitement and verve for life, for friends, and your love for France were stronger than ever. You wore a permanent smile, l'empreinte de Dieu. Sign of signs!

I like a story to come full circle, so let’s return to that glorious vignoble in Bandol, where my husband was just beginning the harvest. In that paradisical setting, I prayed that God would work in his heart and send me some kind of message. I know we’re not supposed to ask for signs from God—perhaps that's why I received one from an old friend instead. Repose en paix, Lou. In memory of you, I’m going to try to slow down, chill out, and follow in your loving footsteps.

After typing the last line of this story, I stumbled upon an old email reply from Lou:

"Yes, a young girl’s dreams of finding that way of life that will bring all those dreams to fusion is a hard journey. Sometimes it's long and tedious, and sometimes a move to a completely new environment opens the door to understanding what you really want out of life. As the saying goes, NOTHING VENTURED—NOTHING GAINED. Another big secret of life: KEEP MOVING forward, never backward."

Here’s another of the many notes I received from Lou: “Hope all is well with you and family, basking in 80 degrees here in Fla., playing golf 3 days a week, working 3 days a week, keeping in good health, goal is to see my GREAT GRAND Children, do with their lives, they are 4, 6, 8 and one on the way!!!! Remember key to long life, KEEP MOVING!”

Back when Lou harvested at Domaine Rouge-Bleu (story here), and a note he wrote:

I've just been able to send an e-mail. I read your book, which I enjoy and get your word a day, which is helping me try and learn French, as I'm planning on spending a month next Sept. in the Provence area celebrating my 80th, hope to try your wine. I'm from Casa Grande, AZ., also a desert rat, much good luck to you and to your family. I'm sure, like most of your readers, you feel like family.  Au revoir.

COMMENTS
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Lou harvesting at Domaine Rouge-Bleu. Don't miss fellow harvester Sandy Maberly's post about Lou, and how he inspired everyone. 

FRENCH VOCABULARY

Click here to listen to Jean-Marc pronounce the French
le cafard = the blues, depression
leur source de vie = their source of life
On va marcher = we are going to walk
rebelote = here we go again
le signe de là-haut = the sign from above
le sourire est chez l'homme l'empreinte de Dieu = the smile is in man the imprint of God
le centre-ville = the town center
pompette = tipsy
adieu = goodbye forever
l'empreinte de Dieu = the imprint of God
le vignoble = the vineyard
repose en paix = rest in peace

*The smile quote is by Robert Choin

REMERCIEMENTS
When I receive a donation from a reader, I always send a thank-you email. However, there are times when I don’t have the correct address, or worse, my message ends up in a junk folder, never to be seen. To the following readers, I hope my note reached you, and I want to express my gratitude once again for supporting the blog!

Bob M.
Phil J.
Trina S.
Vicki B.
Nancy M.
Michele C.
Nancy S.
Marilyn W.
Lori K. C.
Maureen D.
Crystal and Greg A.
Midge and Dick Fleming
Natalia, Rod, Elley and Ari 

Lunch with Lou, the last time he came to visit. Read one more story about Lou, here.