Doux Rêves: On Giving & Letting Go
Inébranlable: Unflappable in French (A Mother-Daughter story)

Le Collier: Mom receives a symbolic necklace

Charles Martha Jules and Breezy
A story of old friends and the necklace that connects them--and all of us. 

TODAY'S WORD: LE COLLIER

    : necklace

A DAY IN A FRENCH LIFE by Kristi Espinasse

When our friends Charles and Martha arrived from Florida, they came bearing gifts: bottles of wine for Jean-Marc, Worcestershire Sauce and giant jars of beurre de cacahuète for the family, and a whimsical necklace for Jules. “Hopefully we’ll see her tomorrow …” our friends hinted.

“Oh,” I stammered, “I hope so too!”

I pictured my mom, next door, hiding beneath a pile of covers. Ever since she came to live with us, nearly seven years ago, she’s enjoyed the comfort and privacy of her little studio. Thinking of Mom’s quiet life now, it’s hard to believe how many challenges she’s faced in the past...

At 16, living in Utah, she was kicked off the cheerleading team and out of school for getting pregnant. There followed divorce and years as a single mom (in which she briefly remarried in time to have me, in the Philippines). In Phoenix, where she brought us up, things didn’t slow down when Heidi and I flew the coop. Mom left her job at the ski shop to work herself to the ground in real estate, where she became a top seller. Burnout came after she married her fourth husband who was as in dire straits as she once was. Mom lost everything when they moved to Mexico and her husband sold sandwiches on the street. John (author of “Barefoot in Yelapa”...) went on to sell time shares, managing to build a nest egg before he passed on. 

No sooner had her husband died than the landlord raised the rent, forcing Mom out of the condo they had shared for years. Next, she learned her marriage license was not filed after the ceremony, therefore she was not legally married and would not benefit from her “husband’s” social security.

How did Jules react to all of this? Même pas peur! Not even scared as the French say—Mom’s cup of faith always runneth over. Fearless (and probably in shock), she immediately rented a shack with a corrugated steel roof in her housekeeper’s neighborhood on the outskirts of Puerto Vallarta—the slum to some, a heavenly jungle to Jules. In no time, the neighbors became her fifth husband: the support and love she needed--if not the complete protection...

No matter how strong Jules was, she was vulnerable. After the roof fell in she moved up the dirt road, dotted with pigs and chickens, only to be robbed while building her new nest. After that, troublemakers camped outside her door, blaring music all night. Finally, it was all too much. Mom agreed to move in with us here in France. 

Initially, just like back in Mexico, Mom enjoyed the occasional ”people spree”—brisk outings in which she met a few locals—but she always looked forward to returning to her quiet refuge, a former garage around the corner of our house. (We converted it beautifully before her arrival, but she jokingly tells everyone she lives in a garage–even though she considers it paradise.) For years Jules has embraced this tranquil space, preferring only to see close family members. While we all respect Mom’s wishes, we try to encourage her to sortir. Back now to our story....

After delivering Charles and Martha’s gift to Mom, I added, “They’d love to see you…” With that, I left Jules to open her present, fancifully wrapped from the Galeries Lafayette in Paris.
The next evening we gathered with Charles and Martha for dinner and lively conversation. As we listened to our guests recount their trip to Paris and St. Remy de Provence, I enjoyed the contrast in the couple’s accents: it’s “north meets south” with Charles’s Boston brogue and Martha’s Alabama drawl. Charles, especially, has a way with words; his colorful speech includes the playful use of terms like “folksies”…you folksies, we folksies, which I find amusing, though when he says “brain fart” it makes every hair on my neck stand up. I guess that makes me a word prude. I was about to admit to as much... when all eyes suddenly darted to la baie vitrée.

There stood Mom with her dazzling sourire, waving for me to hurry and let her in. She was dressed in her silver All-Star high tops, black slacks, and a black cashmere turtleneck. Worn by Jules, a plain woolen cap took on the elegance of an exotic turban. Around her neck, an eclectic string of…wine corks… It was the wonderful necklace our friends had offered her.

If Mom had come this far out of her comfort zone this was serious business. “Charles,” Jules began, “I am here to tell you what an important role you have played in Jean-Marc’s  life…you are like a big brother to him!”

As Mom addressed Charles, I thought back to our first meeting via email: Charles was a reader of my French Word-A-Day newsletter, having found it through Adrian Leed’s Nouvellettre. He signed up to my journal thinking a few extra French words wouldn’t hurt as he was headed to France to explore more vineyards. 

Back in 2007, Charles, retired from the IRS, was studying to be a sommelier when he contacted me. Did I know anyone with a wine connection to the Rhône? Did I? We were on the verge of moving to Sainte Cécile-les-Vignes, where Jean-Marc had found a vineyard. I put the two men in contact and before you could say vendange! Charles became our first partner. (We needed several to secure le prêt bancaire.)

Only, months before our first harvest, which he was dying to attend, Charles had an unexpected quadruple bypass surgery! This did not stop him from boarding a plane, soon after, in time to begin harvesting. That’s when Charles became Jean-Marc’s right-hand man, Jean-Marc became “Chief Grape” and Mom, who flew out from Puerto Vallarta, became our resident cheerleader in what was one of the most intensive harvests of our lives as grape dwellers.

When Charles returned from la vendange, still kicking after all he put his post-op heart through, he proposed to Martha, his sweetheart. Soon we had the chance to meet Martha, and happily adopted her into our hearts, too!

Back in our living room, gathered around the fire, I sat admiring my beautiful mom who had settled beside me on the couch. “I couldn’t find my earrings,” she smiled. No problem—the avant-garde collier de bouchons tied her outfit together nicely, just as it had pulled us together for a long overdue toast to our friends.  Seeing Jules wear that whimsical necklace with such flair was a reminder of the love and effort it takes to show up—for each other and for the moments that matter.

Having thanked Charles and Martha and, after several hugs and kisses, Mom slipped away, returning to her cozy studio to be surrounded by her books and her paintings. She carefully hung her new necklace on the lamp near her bed, where she could remember all the folksies out there who care so deeply for her.

That necklace will always be a precious souvenir of our eternal connection. Like Jules, we all need our space and privacy, a buffer zone represented by the corks strung between the shiny perles. Those shiny beads, like Charles and Martha, are the lovely people we encounter in life. And the string is the mysterious force–l’amour–that ties us all together. We can rest assured that whether we stay in or venture out, we are never truly alone; even more we are loved and remembered.

***

Charles Martha Mom Me and Ricci

COMMENTS
Your edits and your messages mean a lot and help so much. Thanks in advance. To comment, click here.

Related stories:
"My beau-père passed away

A La Recherche du Temps Perdu 

Wine cork necklace
The wine cork necklace, strung over a lamp Mom brought in her suitcase all the way from Mexico. You should have seen what else she managed to pack! 

FRENCH VOCABULARY

Sound File: Click here to listen to Jean-Marc pronounce the French and English words below

le collier =  necklace
le beurre de cacahuète = peanut butter
sortir = go out
même pas peur = not even scared
la baie vitrée
= sliding glass door

le sourire = smile
le sommelier, la sommelière = wine steward
la vendange = grape harvest
le prêt bancaire = bank loan
le collier de bouchons = wine cork necklace
le souvenir = reminder
la perle = bead
l’amour = love

Mom and ricci chez jules
Mom, in her cozy studio, with Ricci.

Jean-Marc Ricci and Charles
Jean-Marc, Ricci, and Charles in La Ciotat, after lunch at the delicious Molto Mucho restaurant in the little square Sadi Carnot.

REMERCIEMENTS
Heartfelt thanks to the readers who contributed after my last post. Your support means so much and helps keep this journal alive and thriving—I couldn’t do it without you!

John M.
Judy W.
Charla C.
Marcy W.

Gwen Y-S
Ophelia P.
Cynthia R.
Michael H.
Marilyn W.
Roberta M.
Kathleen L.

Cork necklace by nan

The ORIGINAL CORK NECKLACE
Do not miss the story of another cork necklace, a veritable work of art given to us by Charles and Martha's dear friend, Nan, years ago. Click here to see it!

Mom fish purse (2)
In the opening photo, from years ago, notice Mom's fish purse on the table. Here it is again. She got it in Mexico a long time ago. Recently, we took it to the cobbler, to replace the zipper. Good as new.

Flowers along the coast

A Message from KristiOngoing support from readers like you keeps me writing and publishing this free language journal each week. If you find joy or value in these stories and would like to keep this site going, donating today will help so much. Thank you for being a part of this community and helping me to maintain this site and its newsletter.

Ways to contribute:
1.Zelle®, The best way to donate and there are no transaction fees. Zelle to [email protected]

2.Paypal or credit card
Or purchase my book for a friend and so help them discover this free weekly journal.
For more online reading: The Lost Gardens: A Story of Two Vineyards and a Sobriety

Comments

Feed You can follow this conversation by subscribing to the comment feed for this post.

Suzanne Dunaway

Merci for this story. My eyes got leaky, and what incredible friends and what an amazing mama you have and what she has been through, lordy, lordy. So glad we are folksies together and bless your mama's courage and strength and paintings and music and time for herself. So important. Merci again.

Eileen

Hi Kristi,
Sweet story and glad your mom joined you for the evening! She is such a resilient woman!
Blessings to you and your family!
Happy New Year too!
Eileen

Barb friedman

What a beautiful story! Your mother is a pillar of strength. Barb Friedman

Teri Browne

Loved this story and your wonderful pictures!
Teri

Cathy

Such a beautiful story, and so well told. Touched my heart and brought tears to my eyes.

Jean Palmer

Thank you for this especially moving piece; brought tears to my eyes - you and your mother are truly inspiring - your writings and photos, your faith, your resilience, and most of all your kindness.

Gail Schilling

What an inspiration! So many lives that pop and float like corks in our midst. Thanks, Kristi, for the back stories.

Dr Abdul Malik de Canada

I very much enjoyed the adventure story of your mom. May she remain blessed.
Many thanks for writing the interesting story

Chris Allin

Dear Kristi,
Such a privilege to learn Jules’ story. She certainly is a survivor, exemplified by her ability to deal with adversity and maintain her joie de vivre approach to life. Bravo, Jules!
And how understanding you are to allow her the space and solitude she seeks at this point in her life. A daughter who supports with such love and caring is truly a life sustaining treasure. Bravo, Kristi.
💕

ann

bonjour, Kristi: As usual, your story is so engrossing, so delightful to read. There's always a moral at the end of each of your stories. Your mom is just an amazing woman; she truly goes with the flow & sometimes creates her own flow. You are the same. I so love reading your stories. So happy, too, that Charles & Martha created their own lives & spend time with you. May you have a most wonderful day! Fondly, Ann PS I have a new e-mail address: [email protected] Please send all of your lovely thoughts here. Thanks.

Joanne

Bonjour, Kristi,
My goodness, Jules’ journey through life has indeed been full of perilous adventures and great escapes. How blessed she is to be surrounded by the love of family and friends. I think she is living proof of what we call our “golden years”. Wishing you and your family more joyful encounters in this New Year. Joanne

Terry Snider

Such a wonderful story and beautifully written! Please say hi to your mom for me. ❤️

Joan

What great stories about your Mom! Character, stamina, personality galore!

Carole Sabo

Thanks Kristi, for a beautifully written newsletter. It brought tears to my eyes. Your writing is always so uplifting.
I am coming to Aix en Provence in March. Because of you, I want to visit La Ciotat, Could you please tell me if it is easy to get there from Aix? I looked online to view the city and it looks adorable. I know the closest major city is Marseille and suppose I would need to transfer trains there. However, I prefer to come by bus just not sure that is possible. Could you let me know please? Thanks.

Of course I would love to meet you in person and buy you lunch but do not want to impose on your schedule. I live near Santa Monica, CA where we are just getting over the horrendous wildfires. I also lived in Paris for five years and speak French although not fluently. I just love all of France.

Anything you can give me for advice, would be greatly appreciated.

Thank you.

Carole
My email address is below and you can respond to my private email if you prefer.

Natalia

Our dear Kristi,
This is so beautiful and so moving that I can't stop either tears or prayers of Thanksgiving to God for incredible Jules,her incredible daughter,and all of your equally incredible family.
You all are an inspiration and an example of life is all about: unending faith,devotion,love,joy,family forever bonded together through thick and thin......
Oh,yes,this is what life is all about.
Thank you for sharing with us.
I'm sure I speak for all of your fortunate readers when I say you made our day.
Arms tight around all of you
Love
Natalia. Xo

Jo-Anne

How wonderful to have long time friends return to let you know you are thought about and loved. Jules has certainly had a rough life- I had no idea how many hardships she has endured and remains resilient. Bless her and the inspiration she has provided to you and all of us. Thank you for sharing her story. She is a remarkable woman and the journey her friends took to reunite with all of you is a testament to their love. Those are the relationships to cherish.

Karen Cafarella

I loved the beautiful story. I have coveted the fish purse since the very first time I saw it all those years ago. LOL! Even tried to find one on the internet, no luck! I love all the whimsical items Jules has in her home. She is amazing, as are you. Sending love and hugs to you both.

Lynne

Wonderful! Loved the photo! Your mom always looks so stylish! Beautiful woman. Seems to run in the family. Your philosophical stories are soothing to the soul. They always leave something to contemplate.

Judi

Your words bring joy and tears to my eyes! Such love you and your Mom have for each other, family, and friends, brings much joy to my heart! A lovely world beyond measure! Your writing beautifully shares it all with us - we, your readers are so grateful, so lucky to be witness to your joy, your beautiful life. Thank you!

Lynn

I’m some cases domestic partners qualify for social security. I hope you checked this out when John passed

Christine

Kristi, your mom is amazing. Thank you for sharing this.

Wero

As always, I am quite behind your newsletter schedule.. However! It is always a blast to read your stories and dive into your word plays. Also, this one particular letter allowed me to learn so much about you, which is just lovely and much appreciated that you share with your audience both the facts and history of your family, but also current events and coups-de-coeur. Finally, I want to say that I relate so much to the last paragraph, where you say that "we all need our space and privacy, a buffer zone". I'd only add that not only we need it, but we also need to learn not to apologize for that besoin! I find it hard, as I was raised to always be considerate of others while forgetting my own needs. No more! I will learn from that, from your mom, from this beautiful story. Thank you for that!

Verify your Comment

Previewing your Comment

This is only a preview. Your comment has not yet been posted.

Working...
Your comment could not be posted. Error type:
Your comment has been posted. Post another comment

The letters and numbers you entered did not match the image. Please try again.

As a final step before posting your comment, enter the letters and numbers you see in the image below. This prevents automated programs from posting comments.

Having trouble reading this image? View an alternate.

Working...

Post a comment

Your Information

(Name is required. Email address will not be displayed with the comment.)